ROCD

Basically I’ve been dating my girlfriend for nearly 5 months,just over a month ago I woke up one morning with pains in my stomach and anxiety and I starting think ‘do I really love my girlfriend’ ‘do I want to be with her’ ‘am I attracted to her’ ‘what if I’m not actually attracted to her or love her that it’s just attatchment issues or loneliness’ ‘what if Im not attracted to women I’m just forcing myself to’. Idk where these thoughts came out of I’ve never had this before although she is my first relationship.I’ve kind of dated people before but she’s my first proper relationship.She’s such amazing person,she’s everything I’ve dreamed of in a person.We do everything together and it’s just so good.I have BPD and I was told I’ve OCD before but it wasn’t an official diagnosis only from my therapist.But these thoughts disturb and make me so uncomfortable and I feel anxious and sick from them.Some days are better than others but lately it’s gotten worse.The past few days I was with her and I felt on edge a lot and guilty for my thoughts.Idk what to do or how to help this my therapist said it’s nothing to worry about there just thoughts but still.Can someone help me please!

Relationship OCD

Anni23

Date posted: 2y

That’s pretty much how it started for me too. Suddenly I was questioning my love for my boyfriend and the whole relationship, out of nowhere. I was struggling badly with that, so I can relate. It got easier when I talked to others and heard how it was for them and realized that I wasn’t alone. I realized that those weren’t my real thoughts, but only fears and anxiety. That made it so much easier, to realize that it’s not my actual feelings that I’m doubting

Avagrnnnn

Date posted: 2y

@Anny1005 But they feel so so real it’s scary,the thoughts are making me think that there my actual thoughts.There on my mind the second I wake up until I go to sleep it’s so draining and when I’m around her I feel weird idk how to explain it idk if it’s guilt or what.But do you think it’s ROCD or my actual thoughts?

Anni23

Date posted: 2y

@Avagrnnnn I mean I can’t see into your head and know what’s going on 😅 so I can’t tell you for sure that it’s Rocd of course. But it does sound a lot like what I was struggling with!

Avagrnnnn

Date posted: 2y

@Anny1005 Yeah I know sorry,I have a problem of wanting reassurance all the time with the thoughts.As in I want to prove myself wrong that there just intrusive thoughts

Anni23

Date posted: 2y

@Avagrnnnn Oh i can totally relate, I used to ask for reassurance all the time. That just doesn’t do what you’re expecting it to, so I wanted to save you from that, as it really doesn’t help long term

Lindsay RM

Date posted: 2y

@Avagrnnnn Seeking reassurance is very common with ROCD, if that helps. I also struggle with that, and CBT has helped a bit, but I definitely recommend seeking therapy, if that is possible for you. If not, keep using this app and talking to other people about it.

Anni23

Date posted: 2y

It started very sudden for me too, for no reason

Avagrnnnn

Date posted: 2y

@Anny1005 And how is your relationship going? Did everything turn out okay in the end?

Anni23

Date posted: 2y

@Avagrnnnn We’re definitely still together, even thought the time back then was so so difficult and I was struggling immensely. It’s been almost 2 years since then. I am currently struggling with Rocd once again, which is what brought me here as well 😅 I just know a little more what’s expecting me this time, as those thoughts don’t shock me as much anymore

Avagrnnnn

Date posted: 2y

@Anny1005 And how did you know it was ROCD? Like do you feel the thoughts your thinking? Like do they feel real? And did it take long to start getting better?

faye1010

Date posted: 24w

ROCD

Good morning everyone, I need some opinions or help on what people might think is wrong. March 2024 is when I started questioning everything about my relationship for no reason he is everything that I wanted, but my mind is trying to tell me that it isn't April 2024 was probably one of the worst times of my life I stayed home from work because I was constantly crying and totally sick because I didn't know what to do. The thoughts slowly started to not bother me as much. I feel like since it ever started I never have gotten that. Love feeling back for my boyfriend, but I want it back so bad because when I did have it, it was absolutely amazing. I have no desire to kiss him or be intimate with him either which also scares me fast-forward to today. I am waking up with so many doubts in questioning myself. Is this ever gonna go away or am I ever gonna feel that love back for my boyfriend ever again? I feel like I'm wasting his time and my time because it feels never ending. I went to a therapist shortly after starting to deal with this and she didn't really seem to help so now on Wednesday I have a new therapist that specializes in OCD I think does anyone have any advice? Thank you so much in advance.

e2222

Date posted: 22w

Relationship OCD?/am I just evil

I am in a relatively new relationship (around 2 months) and it has been completely virtual due to varying circumstances. I have never been in a serious relationship before and my past “exes” have never been this serious or brought up any of these feelings. About a month in I started having tons of symptoms and thoughts I figured were due to an SSRI change (i eventually went back to my original med/dose) however, it has remained quite bad since. Thoughts include: -I don’t actually like my partner, I just like the feeling of being wanted -I have crushes on other people, including my partners friends who I barely know -I don’t feel butterflies so I must be losing feelings for him -I think he’s ugly/im just not attracted to him -I’m secretly a lesbian and I’m wasting his time by being with him -a general feeling of dread, wrongness, or needing out of the relationship -not being able to believe him when he reassures me about everything -all of the above is just my genuine feelings and I’m using ocd as an excuse These are obviously crazy things to think, however one of my biggest compulsions is confession and self sabotage so I have told my partner all of these things in detail. He’s really great and patient about all of it but I can tell it weighs on him. Hes even recently expressed feeling like it’s his fault and that he wonders if it wouldn’t be this bad if I was with someone else. I feel so miserable but i feel like I’d be miserable in any relationship but im scared that’s not the truth and my ocd isn’t real. When it’s good i feel the most romantic love for him I’ve ever felt toward anyone ever. He’s an incredible person but I just feel so alone and lost on what to do. I’ve literally tried to break up with him like five times and each time we’ve ended up wanting to stay together. I’m really really scared I’ll never get better or this is simply the wrong relationship for me.

cmax20

Date posted: 10w

ROCD

for a few days now I’ve been super anxious about my relationship. I’ve been anxious about it before but lately it’s been worse than normal. I’m in a very healthy and loving relationship, I love my boyfriend so much and he treats me so so well. The only thing is that I’ve been having scary thoughts that what if I’m lying to him and don’t actually love him? What if I don’t find him attractive? And like what if the only way to stop being anxious is to break up with him? I don’t want to leave him and I am so scared. I feel like I’m lying to him by not telling him what’s going on because he might think I’m actually going to leave him, which I’m really not going to. I have had anxiety since before we started dating and incestual and sexual ocd, then I got into a point where I started having religious ocd, and now I have ROCD on top of that I think. I’ve never been diagnosed but I’m going to therapy and figuring things out but I’m so scared. Idk what to do and I feel like if I talk to anyone they’re going to say I have to leave him.

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