Constant fear

I am sorry that you are having a hard time with OCD. I am not sure if you are in treatment or not and if you are familiar with ERP, so I will give you some suggestions based on my experience with ERP - and if you are in therapy, I would suggest that you talk to the ERP therapist about this to help create appropriate exposures to help you. One way that will help you deal with the fear of losing your relationship would be to do the best you are able to not compulse, i.e., checking if he still loves you or that he isn't cheating. That is where ERP comes into play - ERP teaches us how to sit with the anxiety when an intrusive thought invades our mind. So, if I were in your position, and this particular intrusive thought came in, I would acknowledge the thought as an intrusive thought, and I would do my best to disengage from it - not answer it - not compulse to prove it right or wrong - but sit with the fact that maybe this thought is true, and maybe it isn't. That is hard to do, I know, but with time, practice and discipline, we can retrain our brain and we also are in charge of how we respond. I would also remind myself that we live only in the present - and at the present moment the relationship has all the signs of a good and healthy relationship - could that change? Yes, but we can't know that. That is where the OCD traps us - OCD wants 100% certainty that nothing bad will happen in the relationship - and that is an unattainable goal. Again this is hard, I know, but it is the most effective way to get out of OCD's grip. That does not mean you will not feel anxiety or the thought will magically disappear, it may or it may not. The goal isn't to get rid of the intrusive thought - the goal is to disengage from the thought, to allow it to be there without compulsing, without caring whether it stays or not. Truth is, the longer we compulse or the more we try to push the thought away the stronger it will become. I hope this helps you.

I second everything Jeffrey offered above. Unfortunately we can’t guarantee that the fears/obsessive thoughts will stop. What we can do is control how we respond to the thoughts. It sounds counterintuitive but the way to quiet the fear is just to embrace it. For me the saying “do it scared” helps to remember this. Do the things you love, like going on vacation with your partner, even if you have these fears. The other thing that may be helpful is to notice when you are ruminating (which is a compulsion). If you find yourself going over conversations or events with your partner in your head to try to find evidence of whether or not he really likes you, that’s a sign you’re ruminating. Here is a resource explaining how to use non-engagement responses, which helps us accept the uncertainty that we fear. https://iocdf.org/expert-opinions/how-do-i-stop-thinking-about-this-what-to-do-when-youre-stuck-playing-mental-ping-pong/

Thankyou so much!! This really helps. I’m talking to a therapist already and I wil mention it! I’m working on it but it’s just so much fear

In addition to ERP, I also recommend checking out Awaken Into Love on YouTube, its a fantastic resource for ROCD.