- Date posted
- 2y
She's amazing and im not
She literally stayed up all night reading two books and researching rocd and taking notes because I have it and I'm here with my rocd telling me u don't like her anymore
She literally stayed up all night reading two books and researching rocd and taking notes because I have it and I'm here with my rocd telling me u don't like her anymore
Ah, this happens all the time for me in ROCD, because what’s the worst thing that could happen if you have a super amazing partner? It would be that I don’t even like them 😂 Remind yourself of all rocd tricks, sit with the anxiety and discomfort, make no decisions when feeling anxious as rocd usually yells “do this right now!!” No decision is that urgent in a relationship.
I'm just worried that feeling is gone and keep getting what if its not rocd it feels different this time what if it never comes back and I'm trying to just sit with it
Im meeting her soon during the week and idk whether to kiss her my thoughts are everywhere with it what do u think?
@Charlie I’m sorry you’re struggling. Have you tried writing ERP scripts about this? I think that would be the most helpful. There’s free exercises in the app. That way you can prepare when you meet her!
@hellopeople I've been listening to romantic songs and sitting with the feelings and thoughts and throughout the day I'll be fine and think okay ik I like her and then it'll be do I really tho would i care if we ended things
@Charlie Researching laws of logic also helped me. I know people say we can’t beat OCD by logic though. Creating scenarios that are not real to “test” how we can control it hurts us immensely. It’s awesome you are doing ERP with romantic songs!!! I think even “I know I like her” is a thought that can be a reassurance, which is why when you cling to certainty about it intrusive thoughts counter it as well.
@hellopeople What's worse is she told me a couple days ago that she had something to say to me but she's scared to say it and through asking questions about it I've determined it's definitely I love you and ofc the thoughts came rushing in and last night I went thru one of the periods of it being "I know I liker her" so when she tells me I'll show her three pages that say I love you but now I'm thinking oh u should delete those u want to even tho if she had told me two weeks ago I'd have 100% said it back
@hellopeople I have had a lot of success combatting my OCD themes with writing ERP Scripts. After reading them back many times, the thoughts/fears start to lose their potency.
@Lisa LeeLou I'm worried I'll do that have no anxiety and the feelings for her won't be there after
@hellopeople @charlie thanks For sharing what you are going through. Please keep in mind that OCD is the doubting disease. Therefore, it’s no surprise that it is interfering with your relationship. I know easier said than done, but try to treat these like any other thoughts. Just thinking something does not make it true. In an OCD support group I attended recently, it came up in discussion how OCD never seems to obsess about good thoughts. The group moderator’s response to this was interesting to me. she commented that OCD latches on to items that have a problem solving quality. Therefore, OCD doesn’t latch onto thoughts like “oh I’m a wonderful student” or “my marriage is great” because that does not present a problem “to be solved”. In other words OCD presents a non-balanced and one-sided picture.
@Charlie That’s a common ocd trick! But we have to go through the anxiety to get out of it! Scripts are very helpful thought difficult :)
@hellopeople I was wondering on what u think about this, before rocd came back ik I missed her and when, now its back she asked me yesterday do u even miss me and now I'm unsure and very tempted to Google how do ik i miss someone, that's a bad idea right, should I sit with not knowing if I do?
@Charlie Yes, sit with not knowing. If it helps you can let her know you’re going through some ROCD struggles. But great job at identifying the compulsion to google!
I'd recommend Awaken into Love on YouTube. I also have rocd and it makes me feel terrible!
I don’t understand how my boyfriend can love me so much after everything I put him through. He constantly shows me how much he loves me, yet I feel like I can’t fully appreciate it. I can’t explain how badly I behave towards him when these thoughts take over, how often I lash out because of them, and how many times I’ve told him exactly what’s on my mind. He tries to use logic to help me, but it never seems to work. And now, even as I’m writing this, I feel like crying—yet at the same time, my mind tells me that I don’t care. This horrible feeling inside me won’t go away. I keep thinking, “What if I don’t like him?” That thought is always there. I wonder if I had unrealistic expectations about this relationship from the beginning, since he is my first boyfriend. What if I convinced myself I liked him just because I wanted my first relationship to be perfect? And now, I just can’t accept the truth? It scares me even more knowing that he moved to my city for me. I feel like I’m constantly upset, constantly sad. And despite everything, he’s always there for me. That makes me feel even worse because I don’t know what to do to feel okay again. Every time I talk to him, I get this strange feeling inside me, and I’m terrified that it means my thoughts are actually true. He tells me that my happiness shouldn’t depend only on him, that I should focus on more than just this relationship—because for over a year now, my mind has been stuck in an endless loop of questioning whether I love him or not. He asks me, “Who are you fighting? Why do you care so much? You’ve been asking yourself the same question for over a year—shouldn’t you know the answer by now?” And my response is always, “Because I want to be with you.” But then, when I try to answer whether I like him or not, more doubts take over. I start thinking, “Maybe I just can’t accept that I don’t love him. Maybe I just want to keep this relationship perfect.” The worst part is that he has never done anything wrong. He has always been patient, kind, and loving, yet I feel so lost. I don’t understand what’s happening. I don’t understand what I feel. And I don’t understand why I can’t understand what I feel. He also tells me that ever since I started reading so much about relationships and OCD online, I have gotten worse. And he’s right. I have become much worse than I was before. The problem is that before, I thought I was at my worst, but looking back, I was still able to feel happiness at times. Now, I feel completely stuck. I don’t know if I’m crying because I hate this feeling, or because I don’t want to think this way about him. It feels like I don’t even know what’s happening to me anymore.
hey you guys i’m new to the app, i just wanted to come on here and share part of what i’ve been struggling with recently- around the beginning of 2024 i started having intrusive thoughts and they completely took over my life to the point where i began planning my suicide once i had finished out some of my commitments for that year. during that time i met this girl and we began texting and keeping in touch with each other every single day since last february. (tw suicide) unfortunately i did have to spend some time in a hospital after i attempted suicide in may of 2024 and i never really knew if this girl was into me or if she even liked girls but we kept talking up until the end of october where we finally said we liked each other. immediately i could tell smth was wrong bc i was shaking and crying and completely scared because i wanted to be very clear that i couldn’t commit to a relationship and then i disclosed to her i was in the hospital in may and i still hadn’t fully recovered from that (#stillhavent #butiwillsoitsokay😛) and i felt awful that i had responded to such an amazing moment like that andever since then i had been plagued with these constant thoughts about not liking her, being straight (which i still don’t know and fully branched out into SOOCD and i have an incredibly hard time distinguishing what is OCD and what is genuinely true about my sexuality because ive never really felt like this for a girl) and for about 4 months we went out on dates where i felt absolutely horrible because i felt like i wasn’t acting like myself or i was being rude to her or i was more attracted to male passerby’s than her or i accidentally thought something about her that just felt so mean and horrible. i also convinced myself it could never work because i couldn’t picture her face and that continued for the first two months, but then i decided to call things off at the beginning of march because i just couldn’t handle debating if i actually liked her if i was gay if i was a horrible person and if i was wrong for all the things i thought every single day and currently we’re on a break because i tried to call things off and she kind of talked me out of it in a very kind and understanding way. i just hate leaving her in limbo because at the end of the day i just want her to be happy because she is an amazing incredible and sweet person and if i wasted more of her time i’d feel even more awful. kinda long lowk… if u read all this thank u and lmk what u think:)
me and my girlfriend since we started dating we be only had one problem, and that is my fear of everything of losing her of her cheating, and it’s all caused by OCD. my texts are massive and i get worried i know i love her and she makes me calm i know i love her. we had a conversation yesterday and basically she said that she feels suffocated with my texts and my fears. she went on trip were she doesn’t have her phone. and yesterday i spent the entire day crying about her. my head is filled with intrusive thoughts. and last night i got so stressed that it seemed like the love went away or i couldn’t remember the love, but it’s impossible because i was crying about her yesterday. this struggle my relationship is having is making me so stressed. pls give me advice
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