Ok so just now I got a really bad intrusive thought it was “what if I’m actually gay” but I’m trying to handle it as good as I can. I’m always nervous that I don’t actually have ocd and I’m just denying that I’m gay. I almost did a compulsion, it was to look at pictures of girls (not naked just normal pictures) to see if I was attracted to them in a way that I would be considered a lesbian, but I stopped myself. I’m going to allow these thoughts to sit and make me upset. I’m not anxious but I think that’s just because I’m getting over the thoughts. I’m not going to look through this app and try to find reassurance I’m going to make sure I don’t make myself feel better. I’m home alone right now so my thoughts are wondering, I’m thinking a lot. I’m going to play games to kind of separate my thoughts, and make myself feel calm. Games have always been a big part of my life, I love games so that will bring me joy. I wanted to post this just so I could show myself that I can get through hard times, and hopefully this will help someone else!

Was watching a show called atypical with my girlfriend the other day and one of the stars has a boyfriend but she starts getting infinite with her best friend who is a girl. Triggered me like crazy. I don’t have a problem with a couple girls getting intimate lol I just got spiked that her sexual orientation was then uncertain as she was sexually active with her boyfriend and still kind of experimenting with a female of the same gender. I’ve never experimented with a male and I don’t want to. I’m aware sexuality can be fluid and that’s scary. Im in love with my girlfriend and am Sexually active as well. I don’t want to leave her for anyone whether that be male or female. My intrusive thoughts always give me great anxiety when I come across situations like those presented in the show. The biggest thing I did was just accept that I can have thoughts and I don’t need to label them or judge them. I have a choice for what I want to do. I know who I am and what I want deep in my heart and I won’t allow intrusive thoughts to manipulate me. Just accept your thoughts as they are without black and white thinking and breathe. Live through your values.

After getting more acclimated to hocd thoughts, I started to fear that I have schizophrenia. I’ve been meditating a lot and have been mindful and in a really good headspace. I’ve been able to take a step back and recognize that this is just another topic of my ocd, and instead of reacting in fear and ruminating/what if-Ing everything, I’ve been able to just shrug off my intrusive thoughts and just live alongside them. Almost all day long yesterday I had the repetitive thought “schizophrenia” just popping into my head over and over. With other intrusive thoughts, I feel the fear attached to the thought, and immediately start asking “what if?” And ruminating about it until I work myself up into a huge mess and start googling for reassurance. Although annoying, I’ve been able to step back and just live with the intrusive thoughts this time, not ignoring them, but recognizing them and noting them as what they are, shrugging them off, and going on with my daily life. Eventually, I notice that they have stopped for a while. At some point, they inevitably come back, but the sting and the fear is becoming less and less. Sorry for the novel guys, but today I feel strong, and today I choose to excel and fight my ocd. We all have the strength to overcome this. We can do it. And we deserve the better life that we are working towards daily.

hi i just recently joined this app and i am terrified. i am a 15 year old girl that has been dealing with intrusive thoughts my entire life. my first recollection with it was the constant fear that my siblings would forget how to breathe. i would stay up all night just to check on them and ensure that they are ok. it went away but then i started having problems with my religion. i was so constantly scared that every move i made would disappointment god and that i would be sent to the devil. it got to the point where i would feel as if a demon was watching me while i slept. now i am dealing with my sexuality. i have known my entire life that i am straight. only ever had romantic feelings for men and never thought of women as anything more than a friend. cause of quarantine i have developed these intrusive thoughts where i feel as if everything i do will make people believe i am gay. i am an ally to the lgbtq community but i keep having these unwanted thoughts of me being homosexual even though i have never felt attracted to women. i need help. i am just a teenager but i have been suffering with ocd my entire life and just now i decided to acknowledge it. i am also way too scared to tell my parents. they are so loving and protective of me that i feel as if i will disappoint them. im sorry this was long i just needed to let it all out. have a good day!!