What I did today: 1. ROCD spiked, worried my relationship had no passion 2. Called my boyfriend for reassurance and checking 3. Tried to pick a fight about it as a compulsion 4. Now engaging in checking behaviors that he isn’t mad at me, double texting, worrying 5. Feeling like I’m an awful girlfriend Ugh. When will this get easier?
This is great that you’re taking accountability! Good luck on your recovery.
This is EXACTLY me. Today I did: 1. Worried my parents didn’t like my boyfriend and thought I was in a bad relationship 2. Built up false cases in my head 3. Talked to my mom and sort of got some reassurance but I tried to avoid and stand my ground 4. Had a panic attack, took my pills 5. Got mad at my boyfriend bc my mom voiced her concerns so that “automatically means it’s true”-OCD 6. Contemplating again if I’m in a bad relationship. It’s so frustrating and ROCD creates SOOOOO much doubt which ends up being debilitating. I do exposure work a lot but I really need to get this down bc I can’t keep living like this.
@sydneylhill Dude I 100% know how you feel. It’s so exhausting, especially when no one else in your life fully understands just how painful it is. I was doing a bit better but then didn’t think a joke my boyfriend made was funny and ope! Back to square 1 of feeling like we are doomed and I need to gtfo of this relationship!! Love that for me. Honestly we deserve gold medals for putting up with this shit in our heads. It’s like running a marathon before we even get out of bed.
@ccas6 Honestly omg. It’s so nice to know I am not alone because I feel like sometimes I’m the only one in the world that is this fuck*ed up in the head and it is so so so painful. I feel jealous and angry that I have to go through this, like why me? It’s such a painful and debilitating disorder 😞
Great job at being so aware of the compulsions you are doing! It makes a big difference in recovery when you are conscious of the behaviors that are making your OCD worse. Now it sounds like response prevention is key here! Responding to initial rumination with “maybe, maybe not” or agreeing with statements can be so beneficial. And remember, the longer we resist compulsions the better! Even if we eventually do a compulsion, the longer we can go without doing it the less we feed the OCD cycle. You got this!
hey, my boyfriend recently came to me and opened up to me about him thinking he has ROCD. i am trying my absolute hardest to understand it all, and came to the realization that i might have it too. we have been dating for almost 2 years now and we’ve been on such a good streak lately if that’s what you want to call it. the bad times aren’t truthfully bad at all. but i get so anxious when he goes out to the bars without me every weekend. and then he gets anxious because of how i respond too it. so basically im just asking for some tips i guess, because i truthfully do think he is the one and could spend the rest of my life with him. but there has got to be an easy way to get past this.
Having a really bad day with my ocd. Just had a massive meltdown. I’ve had 3 sessions with an ocd therapist and I feel worse. This is very confusing to me. I’ve read online that it’s normal to feel worse at the start of therapy, but i don’t know. I’m asking for a lot of reassurance from people, way more than I have ever done. My doubts and thoughts seem to be getting worse. My mum said if the relationship is making you so unhappy why are you doing it? This was sooo triggering for me but maybe she’s right? She said if I didn’t have the relationship in my life, I wouldn’t be having meltdowns or have an ocd spike, so she thinks I should consider whether to be in the relationship or not! Omg it’s so awful to hear those words. But maybe she is kind of right? If somethings making you anxious or unhappy, you stop don’t you? So why haven’t I broken up with him? That would be the logical step. Im so worried to make myself even more ill so im very scared to carry on with the relationship, because right now, my mind is telling me its the cause of my unhappiness and i would be better without it. But is that my ocd speaking? How do I know?! My life without him would be so bleak, or is it my life without the idea of someone in it? I have so many questions, it’s overwhelming. What if I’m not listening to my gut? Maybe I’m not. That makes me feel sick if I’m ignoring myself again. This is torture. What can I do to stop all these doubts and feel better about things!!! I would love some advice 🙏🏻🙏🏻 (this is my ocd talking, but comments that agree with my ocd are very triggering like ‘yes if you feel like that that is a major red flag’. Just comments that maybe give some hope, thank you 🙏🏻)
Right now, i’m waiting for a response from my partner. Yesterday, we got into a serious conversation about the repeated cycle of reassurance seeking and extreme anxiety. he’s been so incredibly patient but I think he’s hit a crosswords in that if I don’t make serious, healthier changes, he does not see the relationship continuing in a healthy or meaningful way anymore. This morning, I told him I wanted to give him space and to respond once he felt comfortable. I attended a support group today but I am consumed with spiraling, obsessive thoughts due to his lack of response now that it’s 5pm and I sent that text at 8am. I dont want to overwhelm him but i just dont know how to sit with the uncertainty. I feel like his lack of response and communication today means he wants to break up. I feel sick and cannot eat. I dont know what to do- any suggestions or thoughts?
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