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Hi! I've grown up a Christian, I've been baptized, confirmed, I'm the backup organist at my congregation, and I've been a Bible camp counselor. For the past few months, though, I've kind of distanced myself from God, and I've felt better than before. Last night, I went to a reunion at my Bible camp where I worked this summer, and I felt God again, for the first time in a while, probably since I've LEFT camp in August. And it felt good. Also, side note, I've always said I want an in-between christian? Like I go to church and do all the stuff, but I don't listen to Christian music, or read the Bible every day or whatever. My friends are either not christians at all, or VERY Christian. So I'm kinda the odd one out so like idk who to turn to. I want to restart my relationship with him, and I know he forgives me for what I've done when I've distanced myself from him. After all, we're saved by God's grace, not by our acts. The thing is, I don't think the normal relationship people have with God will work for me. What we do at camp works for me - fun songs, connections with people (my co-counsolers are the most amazing people in the world), fun worships, activities and Bible studies. Praying is normal and good for me. But I'm just not someone who can sit down and read the Bible, and I have no desire to. I don't feel like reading the Bible is nessecary for my faith - not all of it, at least. So yeah. So I guess my questions are 1. How can I restart my relationship with God and grow it? 2. Is it okay to make my relationship with God work for me, even if it doesn't include reading the Bible? 3. Am I a bad Christian for not reading the Bible? SO that was chaotic, but please help me out?

user_24772678

Date posted: 2y

The bible is very essential to growing as a Christian because it’s how God talks to us. Maybe you feel u are not close to God because u are not close to his word. Not to make u feel bad tho, I struggle with bible reading too. I’d suggest just starting with even just a verse a day, whether u use the bible app or get a Bible reading plan from online x

Rozzie

Date posted: 2y

Thank you. I might do that

norx

Date posted: 2y

This is absolutely beautiful! I understand how you’re feeling. I’m more inbetween and my boyfriend + his family is very religious. Personally, I think a lot of religion stuff is solely for show (like being with other people to pray and enforcing social gatherings like church every single Sunday etc) and what is most important is what you know to be true about God. I personally, don’t think you need to do what you don’t want to do in order to have a good relationship with God. I think for the best relationship with Him, you need to be comfortable.

Rozzie

Date posted: 2y

So glad to know I'm not alone. I've been very confused about what I believe in recently, but I felt God last night so idk. I just wanna try and see what works for me, but sometimes I just don't feel Christian enough or like I'm doing the right thing for me. Ugh😂

norx

Date posted: 2y

@Rozzie And that “I don’t feel Christian enough” statement is so normal and I honestly hate that feeling. It puts so much stress on yourself and at the end of the day, god doesn’t want that. Some pastors just say too much 😂🥺

Apersontbh

Date posted: 2y

Coming from an agnostic here I don’t follow anything in particular anyway- I stand neutral because my human brain doesn’t really know which faith is ‘real’, if any. I believe it is fine to be this way anywhere on the spectrum.

Krome_da

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 23w

Pretty Tough Morning

So I’m not sure how many/if any of you are Christians, but I’m assuming this can still make sense to some of you. This morning has been rough. I’m constantly thinking, “am I saved? Have I never been saved and I’m tricking myself into thinking I am? When I’m listening to Christian music am I doing for the right reasons? Is it too late for me?”. Things I know the truthful answers to but yet I still think these thoughts. I don’t understand why. Why do I constantly think about these “what if”’s? My heart always feels so heavy and I feel as if I need to talk to God right then and there to make it stop and go away. But then am I talking to the Lord for the wrong reasons? And the cycle repeats. Thankfully, day one of my therapy is tonight and I’m hoping to find at least a little clarity on this stuff. I’ve had OCD for 7 years and I don’t even know how it works. Any advice?

Mike6060

Date posted: 17w

Bible and Christ

Is it possible to follow Christ without actually believing? I want God but don't always trust and especially with Jesus/Christianity. I want to believe and I don't but I am still drawn in; it is comforting and compelling. I like what Jesus represented, I like the teachings (although don't always seem practical and seemingly so hard to live up to), and I LOVE Christian music. I love the community. It is so hard to embrace it really and it although gives me comfort brings on a lot of anxiety and confusion. I feel like I have no control to function when I am supposed to let myself be led; I don't even know what that means when I have to think and move my body to live. I want to have a strong faith in God in general without feeling condemned. I want to feel there is a God holding on to me so I don't feel so alone, restless, and lost. Who better to love than your creator? Who better to put your trust in to help you in times of despair. I cant help to think that the Bible is a myth and although if Jesus did exist was only a prophet. My conditioning and impulses are constantly rejecting it and so many times I opened myself up only to quit the next day because it doesn't stick. I am constantly met with rejecting thoughts and fear. It's not sustainable. At the same time, I love him and his story well I only read a little of the Bible and intended to sermons, etc. Another thing, how do I know what is the truth when I am getting interpretations of the Bible when reading, listening to others interpretations through pastoral sermons and other people voicing their opinion?

eafik36

Date posted: 17w

Advice

Hi bear with me I don’t know how long this is going to be (coming back after writing it way longer than I expected I just needed to get this out) but I’ve beenn struggling with this. So basically me and my ex let’s call him Gus just started talking and hanging out again cuddling kissing yk and he broke up with me because he had feelings for another girl but I’m actually really glad we didn’t work out the first time I wasn’t ready for a relationship. my relationship with God wasn’t where I wanted it to be. He is also a Christian so I kept telling myself it would be good which maybe it would’ve been but I still should’ve haven it time but I still rushed into it. We had been friends for like 4 years before tho so it felt natural. I felt good when we broke up it hurt and I missed him. Fast forward 5 months and we hangout again for the first time we cuddle and he kissed me. he’s still confused about what he wants he says he doesn’t want to hurt me again and doesn’t want it to end like last time also doesn’t know if we should keep acting the way we have been as just friends. I was really mad at myself at first I had 5 whole months to get back to where I wanted to be with God but I didn’t and I just kept going back and trying to redo it in my head which is what happened the first time and is why I think I felt stuck for so long. I kept thinking only if it was good the first time and only if I blah blah blah just going in circles you guys know the drill. Now it’s gotten better I’ve forgiven myself because I know God has too and I just have been spiraling. first I convinced my self I should go no contact for two weeks but I realized that was me trying to go back and control the past which is not my call I’ve been feeling a lot better about giving the whole thing to God and not stressing about the past or future just trying to live in the present but every time I think of completely letting that feeling that this isn’t gonna work or that I’m ignoring God go I get stressed again. I’m scared that He is trying to tell me to get out before it goes wrong again but I’m not listening I’m just scared I’m having false peace because I’m getting what I want if it’s ok to figure things out with Gus. On the other hand sometimes God gives us things we want when we finally learn to let it go and I have I’m ok with being alone romantically it’s not a need but I do desire it and I know God puts desires in our heart according to His will. The break up and the whole situation taught me so many things that I need to learn and how to really just let it go and give it to God. I keep trying to picture both scenarios in my head 1 us not together me just growing in God alone and not worrying about Gus and letting him go and 2 us being together and me being happy which him while not feeling like I’m not listening to God and just be at peace. I’m trying to stop imagining them it’s taking to much out of me my brain is exhausting but I can’t helps but feel like I’m ignoring God. Like I know I shouldn’t worry about the future but what if God is trying to tell me something and then I go to what if Jesus comes back tomorrow and I’m still pursuing Gus even if I don’t know what that means but I really am ignoring God and I don’t get to go with Him to heaven. I feel so safe with Gus the ocd never bothers me when I’m with him I let him touch my face and be on me and it’s so relieving to have that I trust him so much and i really don’t trust people that way. I fell asleep on him and ifkyk id let him bring me food and I’d eat it I just feel so comfortable with him I can talk to him about anything and we’re doing a plan on the Bible app together and he has helped me grow in my faith which feels wrong for some reason too like talking to him did. He just feels so safe and that’s really rare for me which I think should mean something right? I don’t know if it’s conviction or condemnation or just the ocd it would be so easy to blame it on the 2nd two but that feels wrong. Sorry this got so long thank you if you stuck around for the whole thing I really appreciate it.💗

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