I think I noticed something

Yesterday was a great day. Not even gonna lie. I had so much fun and I'm glad I got to do it. Just as I was doing the usual things I do when I wind down and relax, which is play video games and watch YouTube. While this was happening, I got an intrusive thought that was different from others. This one stuck harder than the other usual ones and it won't go away. It even gave me physical reactions to it. It sucks that I just have to let this pass and think about it at all. Anyone else notice this though? They'll get a thought they usually never think about until one day it comes up and sticks?

BigGyro09

Date posted: 2y

This particular thought feels real and I even think it means something about me. I don't think it does because the event hasn't occured enough times to really consider it an issue. I never even THOUGHT of the event until now. Something like that is nowhere near my radar and I don't have the urge or plan to act out on the event. So I should just let it pass right? Well, that's the problem. I'm always told that I should just let the thoughts be there and just do what I'm doing. I don't think that's good enough. I'm not having fun with the things I'm doing because of the thoughts and they never seem to go away long term. Maybe there's something else I need to be doing because I didn't always think like this. This started happening way back in 2020 and not my entire life.

Nica

Date posted: 2y

Yup, this is normal. But hold onto those great, fun moments and remember what that feels like because THAT is what recovery is.

BigGyro09

Date posted: 2y

I accept that I have had my low moments. Some being really low, but I'm just doing my best to get away from that and be better. I know you always say don't engage with the thoughts and let them pass, which does help. More than googling with ever help. But, can't I also do something that will benefit this further? Like mindfulness and meditating or writing down the thoughts? Those can't be compulsions, can they?

BigGyro09

Date posted: 2y

I mean, I just miss the days where I didn't have to worry about ANYTHING. I get excited for what's to come through a day, I have things to look forward to, I have my hobbies, my favorite songs, my family, my friends. I'm not saying I don't have most of these things because I do, but I also have really disgusting thoughts about harming myself, going crazy, the world being a simulation, thoughts saying I'm a loser, thoughts about going to jail, thoughts about children which I can't stand AT ALL, or feelings of impending doom whenever I'm outside or trying to just do my own thing. Seriously, it's irritating. I hate that people even have to go through with this.

BigGyro09

Date posted: 2y

@BigGip09 There's even those small moments where I'm not actually worrying about anything but it actually feels off. And then all the thoughts come back

Jesse M.

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@BigGip09 🫂 I feel you, I also miss the days when I think I didn't worry. The reality for me is that I worried back then too but I don't remember as much because the themes weren't so terrifying. The themes I have are similar: harm, suicide, schizophrenia, paranoia, crime, pedo. I also have health concern OCD which is the thing that set me off to begin with. But all the other ones showed up one day and stuck. I remember the day suicidal OCD showed up. I woke up and my brain said a new thing and I was like oh F.

BigGyro09

Date posted: 2y

@Jesse M. Yeah! I can't stand that at all. I'm so sorry you were hit with that theme. I will admit, there are some self destructive tendencies that I have but trying to work on getting rid off, but still. I don't want to make it seem like I am my thoughts and the same goes for you too man. We all struggle, yeah. We do things we regret heavily but that shouldn't mean the intrusive thoughts we get define us. I just hate how frequent they can be. All these different themes, all these things to worry about, all these things we may have done in the past that aren't aligned with who we are now. Thinking about it all, over and over, and it doesn't really get anywhere. At the end of the day, it's all in our thoughts and not actually changing anything but our moods. I hope you're getting better these days, Jesse. There's good days and bad days, but I hope you're hanging in there overall :)

Jesse M.

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@BigGip09 Thanks! I'm getting better. ERP, medication, patience, and love are working well. I'm also getting messy which is kinda fun rn

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 25w

Numb and engaging more with thoughts? Help?

I’ve been feeling a bit stressed lately because my intrusive thoughts aren’t causing as much anxiety as they used to. It almost feels like I’m becoming a little numb to them, and because of that, I’m able to engage with them a bit longer. I don’t feel the usual rush of anxiety to pull away, and in some strange way, I even find myself focusing on them for a few seconds, like I’m actively thinking about them. It’s really stressing me out because I feel like by not feeling that immediate discomfort or anxiety, I’m letting the thoughts stay longer or giving them more power. I feel like part of me almost wants them to be there, and I don’t know if that’s a bad sign? They don’t even feel intrusive. Has anyone else experienced this? I’m just worried that the lack of anxiety is the reason I’m interacting more with these thoughts that would normal scare me. I feel guilt about it later. I am currently withdrawing from medication so that may contribute to this but it’s not the first time I experience this :/

VoiceInYourHead

Date posted: 24w

Intrusive Thoughts During “Me-Time”

So I was enjoying some “me time” and had intrusive thoughts, but it felt like just for a second I liked it. Like I’m holding myself back from “enjoying” the thought. And the thoughts are related to things I was into when I was younger, but sometimes I feel like I might still like it even though 9/10 I wouldn’t give it a second thought. Is this common? Or is this just denial? Thanks

Anonymous

Date posted: 24w

Intrusive thoughts

I’ve had many types of OCD, but I gained control over them over the years, but a new one has started to arise. Do y’all ever have scary thoughts about something you might do? Recently I’ll get extremely uncomfortable no matter where I am because I can’t stop thinking about “what if I screamed really loud in my lecture class tomorrow?” And other stupid stuff like that. Also, this one is kind of funny, but sometimes when I use the bathroom I pause before because I think “what if I’m actually in class right now?” I also cannot control the thoughts about past embarrassing moments. I know everyone does, but I will become visibly uncomfortable and harp on something from years ago. This happens all throughout the day. Also, does anyone else do things that resemble tics when you get these thoughts. Like when they happen I’ll curse under my breath or like jerk my head a little bit. When I’m in public I keep it low key but when I’m alone sometimes I’ll physically get up and pace or something when those thoughts happen. Just curious if anyone has had these experiences

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I think I noticed something

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