- Date posted
- 2y
Saying I’m straight
Saying I’m straight feels like a huge lie. I hate that. It makes it feel so real. I cannot say ‘I’m straight’ without so much guilt
Saying I’m straight feels like a huge lie. I hate that. It makes it feel so real. I cannot say ‘I’m straight’ without so much guilt
Yeah we all have this, I had it a while ago and I made post and ask everyone with HOCD that I knew, and we all felt it, I know I still do, saying I'm straight it's always triggerin cause it feels like I'm lying
I’m trying to live with uncertainty but it doesn’t feel right. The “I may or may not be bi/gay” really sucks because I can’t stop ruminating, analyzing, or checking. This especially sucks because I feel like literally EVERYTHING in my life leads to the fact that I’m a fraud which feels horrible. I can’t even talk to my friends the way I used to without feeling like I’m lying about myself. The false attraction and loss of attraction to men is literally horrible because now I feel like the life i fantasized for myself isn’t something I want.
I keep seeing tiktoks of things that are like ‘things I did as a lesbian in denial’ or ‘things my not so straight straight friend said’ and I feel like I might relate to some!! But idk!! It’s kinda triggering me. I’ve had this 5 years on and off now so when it comes back the whole well you’ve had it so long you must be gay comes up. I have been with my boyfriend almost 6 years and i love him so much I don’t want to be gay (nothing weong with it - I’m just not and don’t want to be!)
i’m scared i’m bi and in denial and trying to convince myself im straight.
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