Rocd what is a gut feeling and what is real!?

I’ve been with my bf for 8 months and really love him. Recently though my ROCD has been insane. I can’t stop thinking about breaking up with him and have this feeling that he isn’t the one for me. But when I’m with him the feeling subsides and I feel happy most of the time (no relationship is perfect). I’ve had moments of such intense dread and anxiety from this I just want to blurt out and say I want to break up when I don’t even. It’s almost like I feel there will be huge sense of relief once I do..it’s the worst at night. But then I think about not having him in my life and it feels even more dreadful . And even if I am having some real doubts that aren’t anxiety it is not at all close to the point of a break up convo. Does anyone have any good exercises or suggestions to make this stop?

Relationship OCD

Username: AnonymouslyobsessiveAnonymouslyo...

Date posted: 1y ago

I am going through the same thing right now! I’ve been worried that I’ll blurt it out and then feel relief too, but then feel bad that I hurt both of us because I don’t want him to not be around.

Username: AnonymouslyobsessiveAnonymouslyo...

Date posted: 1y ago

@Anonymouslyobsessive I was just telling my bf last night that as soon as I tell him I like him that I worry I just lied to him. That any anxiety in my life is because I’m in a relationship that is wrong

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 1y ago

@Anonymouslyobsessive I always try to just really be in the present and take in exactly what the person is giving me at that moment and choose how I feel from that not my thoughts!

Username: meep.meepmeep.meep

Date posted: 1y ago

I've struggled with this too- is this a gut feeling? If it's a gut feeling does that mean I need to listen to it? Something that has helped me a lot has been keeping in mind that I always have a choice and I don't *have* to do anything. Lots of times, I interpret what I think of as a gut feeling as meaning that I *have* to do something. Well, if I have to do it, then is that really a choice that I'm making? No. Somewhere in my learning about OCD, I read, "In both the treatment of OCD and in living a disciplined life, there is no word more important than 'choice'." I've really been struggling with implementing this recently, but it does give me hope to remember it.

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 1y ago

@meep.meep Thank you so Much this was amazing. It’s so true. Even if I have a gif feeling it dowsnr mean I have to ACT upon it immediately. I have a choice to do anything. Great advice! Gave me some relief thank you so much

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 1y ago

@meep.meep *gut

Username: Stacy QuickStacy Quick

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 1y ago

I will tell you a story about someone who had these same fears and who broke up with their BF, only to experience a few short-lived moments of relief to have a new OCD pop in that said "what if you just made the worst decision of your life, what if you have just broken up with your soul mate?" That is how quickly and fiercely OCD attacks. It will latch on to anything an everything. You have a disorder of doubt. Just because you think or feel something doesn't make it true. Have you done OCD treatment?

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 1y ago

@NOCD Therapist - Stacy Q. Yes! I am doing therapy with someone through here twice a week. Is a worry script the best way to subside the thoughts? thank you for responding that was a great point.. it will latch onto anything

Username: meep.meepmeep.meep

Date posted: 1y ago

No problem :)

Username: kathr

Date posted: 2y ago

rocd and break ups

i have rocd and am in a long term relationship. i have a hard time differentiating between obsessive/intrusive thoughts about my relationship comingfrom OCD and actual gut feelings. for 2 years I’ve thought that i need to break up with my partner but i usually dismiss it because i think its rocd. now im worried that it actually means i should break up but i know that after i do i’ll be obsessing whether it was the right decision … does that make sense? don’t know how to separate rocd from “real” feelings

Username: geochristina

Date posted: 2y ago

ROCD

Please does anyone else have the same thoughts and feelings as I do who suffer with ROCD (bearing in mind I love my boyfriend, he’s the kindest most loving boy and I love him with all my heart) we spend all day laughing with eachother! I’m constantly like: You don’t love him, this isn’t right with him, you’re horrible for stringing him along, break up with him, break up with him, did you ever actually love him, you’re probably a lesbian, you don’t find him attractive, there’s nothing between you two Then in other moments when I’m not feeling this I literally could cry with how amazing he is! 😢🙈

Relationship OCD

Username: anonymous1963

Date posted: 49w ago

Rocd vs reality

How do people recognize the difference between relationship ocd intrusive thoughts and real thoughts about your relationship? I have been in a relationship for about a year, it’s my first long-term relationship and the healthiest, I am almost 20 years old, and I believe I have rocd (I haven’t been diagnosed but it’s pretty clear to me). The main thoughts I get are “what if I’ll lose feelings for my bf?, what if I don’t love him?, what if I’m gonna break his heart?” (it’s never about if he’s cheating on me or anything like that. He is a really great boyfriend and the best person to ever walk into my life, he isn’t toxic or bad in any way towards me or the relationship). Usually these thoughts occur before my period (luteal phase/pms) but I’m on day 6 of my period and I got these thoughts, which usually isn’t the case as I’ve said before. So I went into a spiral cus I believed that since I got these thoughts at a different time in my cycle, they must be true. Deep down I know I love my boyfriend so much, it’s just so hard to navigate whether or not these thoughts are just fake rocd thoughts or what I’m really thinking. Can anyone else relate?

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Rocd what is a gut feeling and what is real!?

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