Is it normal to not feel like your self with all these harm thoughts , mine are so bad that I feel like I’m losing my old self the sweet person I just want to go back to normal but these thoughts feel so real and as if there going to happen am I the only one ?
Your not alone. I’ve struggled with harm OCD since after I had my first baby. I just recently started having them again after getting off sertraline. I’m back on medicine now and I’ve been doing thought exposure exercises where I write out the thought that is disturbing me over and over again and that really helps. Try and sit with the thought and not get stuck in that loop of reassurance. Otherwise it’ll keep coming back. Your NOT evil or a bad person. Your aware of the thoughts and your getting help for them. It’s the OCD, not you. Just remember that.
@jillianpalmer1518 It’s so hard to not think I’m an evil person it almost feels like I’m going to do them but I don’t want to!!! I wouldn’t be looking for help people who cause harm don’t tell anyone !
@jillianpalmer1518 I also shouldn’t be reassuring myself but it’s so hard not to I almost feel like I have to because if I don’t it makes me feel like I do like having the thoughts and that I’m going to do them
@jillianpalmer1518 I started getting intrusive thoughts after getting off of birth control idk if it messed me up I used to never be like this
@Citlallidiaz8 I just want to say you’re not alone at all and I’m currently going through the same intrusive thoughts. Its hard
@Citlallidiaz8 Your going to have to do the work. Get a journal and write out the thought your having over and over again until you fill a page or two. It seems silly, but by the time you get done you’ll realize that it’s just a thought and that you’re not going to do anything and you don’t want to do anything. Hang in there. It’s hard, but freedom can come if you put in the work. I would also consider getting on something that helps with OCD. I currently take Lexapro, but also had good luck with Zoloft. The medicine helps with the anxiety so you can process these thoughts more rationally. You got this!!
@jillianpalmer1518 This is great advice! I have tried writing the thoughts over and over and also even recorded the thought listening over and over to habituate I think they call it?
Hi 👋 You are definitely not alone. I was doing really well then got this awful ‘dread’ feeling in pit of my tummy again. Just feels so real and scary. Sometimes I feel like it is fear of fear .
This is exactly what I’m going through!
Nope I’m going through the same thing
@Ocdhater29 Like i feel like Im going to become an evil person or I am an evil person it feels so horrible, also when I’m smiling or laughing and not thinking it almost seems like it feels off because I’m so used to feeling so depressed and sad from the thoughts
@Ocdhater29 It almost feels wrong not to be thinking those things !
@Citlallidiaz8 Trust me I get it. I’ll be feeling normal and then think about them on purpose because I’m wondering why I’m not having the thoughts. It makes me wonder how I’m ever going to break free from this vicious cycle. On top of that I have urges to act and it feels like I actually want to do these things
@Ocdhater29 Why is it that we’re going through this like why???
@Citlallidiaz8 This is ocd 💯 it really brings your emotions into it bc your body thinks they’re real but once you let go of the thoughts and keep saying “I’m not sure but I’m not going to think about this right now” and let them go you will eventually feel like yourself again and get your sweet self back! It takes time and it’s so hard but it’s so worth jt! There is a really good book called harm ocd recovery by Ali Greymond-it is life changing and on Amazon!
@Citlallidiaz8 IKR, sometimes its like i feel SAD for not thinking about these things
@Ocdhater29 You have to be strong , I know exactly how you feel and it’s so debilitating sometimes!! But always remember those thoughts aren’t you . Hang in there !
No such thing as "being normal" . Give yourself some grace i know its easier said than done but i have been in your shoes it isnt easy, and u are doing everything physically possible to feel better. You will get there. See it as growth, not losing yourself.
Hi - how ru feeling now?
I keep getting these horrible feelings come back that make me feel down or like my life isn’t the same. It feels almost like someone is holding you over the edge of a cliff and sometimes they pull you back and you feel safe and the next minute they dangle you back over and you feel like there is a big problem again. I feel like I can’t forget how it felt it made me feel like I’m actually evil and I wanted it and enjoyed it and I can’t be normal now. I feel like I don’t even know what I want. I try to forget and be normal but when I do it feels like how do I know I don’t actually want to be evil because it felt like that? And now it feels like what if that’s my true nature and I’m denying it and that makes me feel like well if I’m debating about whether I am or not maybe I actually do want it? I try to live normally but I can’t because I have ‘this’ problem. The thoughts were about stabbing and it felt like it was actually about to happen and I got this weird feeling that felt like I was suddenly really happy about it and discovered why evil people enjoy doing evil things and now I can’t get over that feeling emotion?? Because now I’m thinking how can I forget it felt like that?? And that feeling must still be there I’m jsut not looking for it like maybe if I sat there imagining those thoughts again maybe that feeling would come back ?? I don’t know what to do or who I am I don’t even know if I’m sad or if I’m worried or if I’m good or if I wanted that bad thing but that feeling has really affected me like I don’t know if I want to he evil or not and now I’m worried maybe I was impressed by that feeling what if I want that feeling again because it feels good what if because I felt like I was happy or enjoyed it now I want that again I’m so confused ?? What if evil people enjoy it and I’ve realised why they enjoy it and now I want that feeling again? I don’t know what to do
harm ocd is the bane of my existence. people always tell me that if you have anxiety over a thought, that’s ocd. and these intrusive thoughts cause me IMMENSE anxiety. i’m constantly looking for reasons why i’m not what these thoughts tell me i am. but WHY DOES IT FEEL SO REAL?? it’s like i can’t reassure myself that this isn’t me and i don’t want to do it, but i also look for reasons why it’s not me. my brain is constantly telling me “if you don’t act on this, you’ll never feel free”. WHAT EVEN IS THAT?? and why does it feel real?? anytime i think about getting therapy, i constantly think that it’s not going to help me positively but help me realize i am this person. i just wish someone with harm ocd could get into my brain, understand me, and tell me everything will be okay. i wish someone in recovery could tell me that they’ve been where i am, felt the same feelings, thought the same thoughts, and got through it when they thought they wouldn’t. i feel like i’m drowning in it. another thing is i think about how my mom knows a surface level understanding to this form of my ocd, but if she knew it all, i’m scared she’d never look at me the same. i’m scared she’d be scared of me and think i need psychiatric help. IM TERRIFIED.
i’m back in a cycle of having harm related OCD thoughts and feelings and urges and i get these episodes where it’s like i’m disassociating and feel like i’m about to snap and go crazy violent. does anyone else experience this? i need help
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