I was focused on a vid of women my age and above doing explicit things… I kept getting intrusive thoughts that I didn’t notice… then I started getting a physical groinal response… and by the time that happened I had noticed the intrusive thoughts… my HOCD is saying I’m in denial because of this… when I don’t ever want to ever be homosexual or bisexual at all…
You need to stop seeking reassurance bro. And stop watching porn.
I also have HOCD & honestly, hearing other people go through this, you would think I would feel a bit better. To some extent I do but it also breaks my heart knowing others know my exact pain&thats heart breaking. Stay strong💚
@Leslym476 It's making me think that this anonymous woman I was talking to on an 18+ website was secretly a guy. We didn't do anything but I really wanted to... multiple other people in the chat room said she was a girl tho... I don't ever want to ever be homosexual at all...
This is going to sound stupid, but the way I was able to overcome my HOCD was by noticing the thoughts I was having was ocd, and by doing that I was able to overcome it, because I knew that these thoughts weren’t my actual thoughts
Not stupid! Mindfulness can really help 'detach' you from you thoughts 💗
I completely understand you Right now I am struggling with HOCD. Sometimes these sensations overpower me and convince me that I like it and make me think I’m suppressing my homosexuality. One time I accepted it but the thoughts still kept bothering me. Then I was thinking maybe I’m not ready to come out to myself. But even when I accept the HOCD and tell myself “I’m gay” it gives relief but then something within me fights back and I’m thinking it may be how my family will respond. Sorry for all that but it feels like this is real but at the same time I can see how this is just intrusive thoughts on top of intrusive thoughts on top of hyper self awareness
And writing this right now my intrusive thoughts are telling me I’m making all this up and I’m gay but denying it. And now it’s saying it’s not intrusive thoughts
You are going to get intrusive thoughts at these times; it sucks. But, the aim is to accept that they are they and carry on anyway, and crucially don't give into ruminating or trying to answer all the questions that pop up. Anything else is just avoidance, or keeping yourself stuck in the OCD cycle. Use these times as an exposure to practise letting the thoughts pass by, show yourself you can handle it and you're not going to entertain OCD's questions.
Ok I have a question for y’all. After you have a good moment with a guy, like when you think about him and want to be with him and it feels good, does anyone get the intrusive thought “what if I’m romantically attracted to men but sexually attracted to women?” Because that just came up for me and it is not fun and very worrying. Because I have been aroused by lesbian porn (I did this before my HOCD intrusive thoughts started) and now I’m worried because I was aroused by that I can only be sexually attracted to women ?
Can anyone relate to having HOCD thlughts (or any form of sexual orientation OCD) and getting aroused by them? I don't mean a groinal response (tingles, twinges, etc.) or arousal-non concordance (when you're groing get's aroused but your mind doesn't), or confusing stress with arousal... I literally mean getting aroused (both mentally and physiologically) by unwanted thoughts in repeated occasions (frequently) when you test yourself? Basically like if it was a sexual fantasy, with the exception that it's a torture that you have found through compulsions. I never wanted to think any of this and I still hate and wouldn't do any of the content of my thoughts. But this happens to me and makes me feel SOOOOO in denial and anxious even though I've never had sex, interest, attraction or desires for a man (or a transexual, which is my other HOCD topic).
Okay it seems I have a new theme, if this even is a theme? I love my husband very much and I know I am not into the same gender. I have no desire to be with the same gender & I never did. But lately I’ve been getting so inside my head because I have compulsive staring and sexual intrusive thoughts which started postpartum towards my baby then quickly snowballed. I then started having sexual intrusive thoughts towards other females and males. It makes me feel weird and perverted. Where I worry is if same sex thoughts/images pop in while being intimate with my husband or during self pleasure because this has happened before. Also, I am freaking out thinking that if I think another female is pretty it means I’m attracted to her? I mean I am sure we all have thoughts like that when we look at other women right? “Oh she’s pretty.” “Oh she has nice hair.” “Oh she is really in shape and has a nice body.” Or are these thoughts weird? I can’t stop overthinking this. It’s like this started as sexual intrusive thoughts postpartum, then POCD, then sexual intrusive thoughts towards others, to me feeling like a weirdo and perverted, and now I can’t stop obsessing. I need to emphasize here that I would never hurt a child. I would never want to make anyone uncomfortable with my compulsive staring. I am very much in love with my husband and never have I ever thought of being with the same gender. It’s not something I desire. I love my husband, I love my family. I care deeply about being a good mom, a good wife & an overall good person.
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