Periods/ovarian cysts/pain...

I've relapsed badly leading upto the festivities of Christmas probably because of many things piling up but one is definitely my recent results from my ultrasound. Yes a big ovarian cyst 😪. As if weight gain from previous anti-depressants, and ocd alone is unfair & exhausting. I'm waiting for another scan soon to see the size etc of the cyst. It's not cancer which is a huge relief but I'm at the point where I struggle with the blood of periods, the pain, changing my sanitary towel & showering. I've never been the maternal type, I'm hoping for a hysterectomy but I will not enjoy the aftercare process and staying in hospital. Sharing toilets, showers (probably wont be allowed to shower as you can't get the stitches wet-so wipes only), possibly having to walk around with no undergarments. The thought makes me sick but it's something I will sacrifice to feel somewhat "normal" for me. Doubt the surgeons will listen to me because of my ocd but I'll try to convince them. I just feel the demons in my head are getting the better of me, I'm losing time with no progress & angry that there's no cure yet for ocd! Why should the best therapy cost when diseases come free!? Therapy should be essential, a necessity not a luxury, many of us just can't access that as we cannot even work as the ocd consumes. The word "managing" is becoming numb to my head. Any thoughts, similar experiences, please be kind I'm not in a situation to argue. Thank you in advance 🥲.

Dothewalkofl...

Date posted: 2y

I’m really sorry. I know it’s nowhere near the same but I have immense period pains and when I’m having ocd at the same time. It feels like I’m being mentally and physically tortured. I bet the pain your experience is 10x worse. I hope you can get the help you need and deserve. It’s going to be okay ❤️

Stillalive11

Date posted: 2y

Thank you so much @Dothewalkoflife for taking the time to talk, understanding and for you're kind words! Pain is pain and something as natural as periods that come monthly having to countdown the days for it to be here then to go through it: you should be so proud of yourself, women's bodies are so strong and go through a lot. Please do reach out to your doctor to get a ultrasound, periods should not hurt immensely, take care 🥲❤️

Ancient-1

Date posted: 2y

You've got strength in you that you don't know you have. You dread what might come, but I can tell you now that when it's time to face it, you will have the power. Sounds cliche, but it's true. You got this!

Stillalive11

Date posted: 2y

Thank you Ancient-1, for sending a message back. I appreciate the positive & motivating words of you're wisdom. I guess I will have to cross that bridge when I'm there 🤗.

Judy❤️

Date posted: 2y

I agree on the why should therapy cost if the illness comes for free, because it's not fair. I'm proud of you although, look at where you are. You made it to a new year. Did last year you think you could? Imagine future you looking at you with loving eyes saying their proud of you. Those are the only 3 people you need to please In life. Past you, present you, and future you. If you can do that, then everything else will come along naturally, I know you can beat this. You are not your thoughts

Stillalive11

Date posted: 2y

Thank you Judy for replying and for you're heart felt message. I didn't think I would survive ocd or be here today in all honesty. It is really hard to accept how I used to be is different to the now. From now on I will always remember you're important 3 people message; I'm going to make my future self so proud! ❤️✨️🥲

Judy❤️

Date posted: 2y

@Stillalive11 You made me proud too, I'm glad your here today. You just made my heart a little happier, I KNOW you can do it

Stillalive11

Date posted: 2y

@Judy❤️ You're so sweet Judy! Happy I've made you that bit happier, I'm so grateful that you are here too, YOU are important and being supportive and helping others like myself with you're wise words= very uplifting ❤️✨️🤗

Steve2022

Date posted: 22w

OCD back worse than ever

Just been discharged from hospital outpatients after operation and 3 month recovery. There was an ultrasound on eyes and possibility of radiotherapy treatment for a spot there, but turned out it was benign. OCD was quiet during this time. However, now OCD has come back big time, and I'm wishing I hadn't been so fortunate with diagnosis. Tired of going through this like groundhog day, and worried that there will come a time where I won't cope. Can't tell anymore if this is OCD or I'm just losing my mind. All plans and dreams gone now.

Aldxma.steph

Date posted: 21w

Hello everyone I need some advice

I don’t have an official OCD diagnosis, but I will be asking my doctor tomorrow if I can get referred to a psychiatrist to get an official diagnosis. The way I came to the conclusion that what I’m dealing with is OCD is because a month ago I just started having the most horrible disturbing intrusive thoughts that go against all my values and beliefs and attacking the stuff/people I care about the most. Mind you, I have never had anything like this happen in my life. I feel that I have always been someone with a peaceful mind and one of the worst intrusive thoughts I can ever remember having before this happened, was “what happens if I cut my finger right now” while I was cutting fruit. That’s pretty much it. After this whole horrible intrusive thought spiral started happening I was so scared because I have never had such awful intrusive thoughts like this that were the complete opposite of me, it just quite literally started out of NOWHERE, and that’s what was so scary and terrifying. It was like my whole life got turned upside down because of this and I’ve been mainly isolating in my room, feeling so much anxiety and dread and guilt/shame. I get four of the same thoughts and one intrusive image repeating over and over again even if I would not try to think about them, and it caused me so much distress and anxiety that I would be so anxious and cry everyday just thinking how I could ever possibly think such horrible intrusive thoughts like that. It’s caused me insomnia which I’ve never dealt with before and I went three days in a row without being able to sleep no matter how hard I tried (even while taking melatonin). Other days I struggle so much to fall asleep due to the intrusive thoughts being much more present at nighttime, and even when taking melatonin that doesn’t do anything because of my mind being so active and having so much anxiety. Is this what they call an OCD flare up? After constantly looking up all the symptoms of ocd (the more and lesser known ones alike), I noticed there were some symptoms of it that I displayed in childhood when the ocd could’ve been more dormant or mild you could say (skin picking), because once again I have never had such horrible intrusive thoughts like this out of nowhere and constantly repeating in my mind that felt like they were out of my control. I noticed that these intrusive thoughts started on the second day of my menstruation when I was in a lot of pain and was feeling very emotional/stressed. One of the things I’ve heard a lot is that during the menstruation cycle is when ocd flares can happen more often due to the increase in hormones during that time, and I wonder if that’s what happened to me? I’m also overall such a big over thinker and have been for as long as I can remember. I also have had anxiety and depression since middle school as well. Any insight would be very much appreciated 😭

Aldxma.steph

Date posted: 20w

Hello everyone I need some advice/insight please

I don’t have an official OCD diagnosis, but I will be asking my doctor tomorrow if I can get referred to a psychiatrist to get an official diagnosis. The way I came to the conclusion that what I’m dealing with is OCD is because a month and a half ago I just started having the most horrible disturbing intrusive thoughts that go against all my values and beliefs and attacking the stuff/people I care about the most out of absolutely NOWHERE. Mind you, I have never had anything like this happen in my life. I feel that I have always been someone with a peaceful mind and one of the worst intrusive thoughts I can ever remember having before this happened, was “what happens if I cut my finger right now” while I was cutting fruit. That’s pretty much it. After this whole horrible intrusive thought spiral started happening I was so scared because I have never had such awful intrusive thoughts like this that were the complete opposite of me, it just quite literally started out of NOWHERE, and that’s what was so scary and terrifying. It was like my whole life got turned upside down because of this and I’ve been mainly isolating in my room, feeling so much anxiety and dread and guilt/shame. I get four of the same thoughts and one intrusive image repeating over and over again even if I would not try to think about them, and it caused me so much distress and anxiety that I would be so anxious and cry everyday just thinking how I could ever possibly think such horrible intrusive thoughts like that. It’s caused me insomnia which I’ve never dealt with before and I went three days in a row without being able to sleep no matter how hard I tried (even while taking melatonin). Other days I struggle so much to fall asleep due to the intrusive thoughts being much more present at nighttime, and even when taking melatonin that doesn’t do anything because of my mind being so active and having so much anxiety. Is this what they call an OCD flare up? After constantly looking up all the symptoms of ocd (the more and lesser known ones alike), I noticed there were some symptoms of it that I displayed in childhood when the ocd could’ve been more dormant or mild you could say (skin picking), because once again I have never had such horrible intrusive thoughts like this out of nowhere and constantly repeating in my mind that felt like they were out of my control. I noticed that these intrusive thoughts started on the second day of my menstruation when I was in a lot of pain and was feeling very emotional/stressed. One of the things I’ve heard a lot is that during the menstruation cycle is when ocd flares can happen more often due to the increase in hormones during that time, and I wonder if that’s what happened to me? I’m also overall such a big over thinker and have been for as long as I can remember. I also have had anxiety and depression since middle school as well. Any insight would be very much appreciated 😭

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