I keep getting false memories of my theme. I know I did the things, but it now it feels like I liked the thing I did, and using it against me. When I literally haven't thought about the event in over 15 years or something.
Sure, that sounds like OCD would love to take a real event, skew your memory, and cause a ton of anxiety and fear from that. Possibly try embracing the uncertainty by saying something like, “I feel anxious because idk if I liked the thing I did in the past, I can’t be 100% certain I didn’t, I accept that uncertainty and am willing to live with it happily.” Sit with the uncomfortable feelings produced without compulsions. Over time, it gets easier (that was my experience). If you can, I highly suggest getting a therapist that is trained in ERP. It helped me so much! I hope you have a similar experience!
Can I still accept the uncertainty it feels certain, like it's absolutely true right away?
@Meg Johnson Trying framing the question of uncertainty to whatever specifically your fearing, it can be applied to most fears.
I have experienced this to! It's so normal 😇
Okay, the same is kind of happening with me. Like, I would watch and movie or a show and there would randomly be a sex scene or something and there would be a naked women. Usually I would look away or fast forward bc it was kind of embarassing, but now I'm getting memories of being attracted and not realizing, or I'm getting memories of having the thoughts back then even thought I'm sure I didn't. And I'm getting memories of forcing myself to like guys when I was initially sure none of these things happened.
For me I looked up something as a teen that could be considered gay. Now my brain is telling me I liked it
@mrein280 - So both of ours is basically, something happened but we remember a different feeling
Question for you guys, Those of you who suffer from HOCD or POCD and have vivid memories that contradict who you feel you are, how do you manage those memories? I had an OCD/anxiety attack that clinged on to the memories around me being curious after being bullied in school. My OCD keeps telling me that I enjoyed those experiences more than I should have. Even though it ended in tears and me knowing that that's not who I am, my OCD keeps telling me that it's an indication of my being gay or bi. I realize that some of those memories may be fake, but in the scope of acceptance of uncertainty let's assume that everything is right. My therapist tried to calm me down by saying that this is really normal and expected in young children and that it has nothing to do with who we are, especially since I was interested in girls and always fantasized about chased after them from a very young age.
Can real event ocd, or ocd in general make you feel bad for something you did that was actually wrong? I keep thinking about things I’ve done in the past that are defiantly wrong and shitty things. But I’ve never really thought of them before. I knew they were terrible things, and I’ve not gone back since. Maybe 10+ years ago (when I was 19-21). I thought real event ocd was your brain taking things that are trivial and twisting them to make you seem bad. In these cases I’ve grown as a person l, I’m really not proud of myself and hope to never go back to that place. Is this ocd, or am I suddenly just feeling remorse for being a terrible person? I just feel the need to confess to my wife again, even though she knows most of it.
so i usually don’t get violent intrusive thoughts like stabbing or hurting people ect. my intrusive thoughts are more false memory/ real event based. like my intrusive thoughts will be like “what if this happened, what if im___” “did i do this” and then yeah. is this still ocd if i don’t have thoughts intrusive about stabbing or hurting people? my intrusive thoughts are more bad questions regarding the past.
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