I kind of don’t know what to do anymore, I don’t want to be a bad person but I’m just convinced I am. I just want to sit in my room and cry and never come out so I don’t risk hurting anyone. I just want to feel normal
My therapist used to tell me, if you really wanted to be bad would you be on this app and crying about it? Of course not, you would go out and do something bad.
we all do, and we will some day ! but until then, we have to remain hopeful. it gets hard, and its very challenging to accept the uncertainty of it all, but we’ll push through and we’ll make it out on top of ocd!
Feeling this right now too. It is helpful to know I’m not alone in it.
I completely understand where you are coming from. I’ve been there multiple times before and it really is so hard to tell yourself your not a bad person let alone convince yourself because of the thoughts your having. They make you feel like your a terrible person but let me tell you, Your not! A terrible person would go out and act on the things they are thinking about and not feel remorse or sympathy. You feel so upset for thinking the way you do. Someone who is horrible wouldn’t care. I know it’s hard to try to think positive especially when your going through so much! But don’t let your OCD! Overrule you. This is your body, your mind and your life! You have OCD but OCD isn’t you. You got this friend! I know you do! We will get through it together 💗
Hey Mpopla28! I understand this feeling. As a member of the OCD community, and as someone who works closely with OCD sufferers, I can tell you almost all of us feel this way. We feel a greater sense of responsibility. and a consistent, nagging guilt surrounding our every move! Super common. I would encoruage you to try some non-engagement on this one. Respond to those thoughts that you're a terrible person! Say, "maybe I am, maybe I'm not. Maybe I'm capable of horrible things, maybe I'm not." The time you spend in fear about possibly doing something "bad," is time you're losing! OCD steals so much time from us on a daily basis. Don't let it win <3 Sending you so much love!
tw . . . . . . I don't want to trigger anyone, so please be warned before reading. I'm feeling pretty hopeless. I don't know if I deserve... anything. I've had two therapists now tell me I'm normal and I don't need to worry so much, but I find it hard to believe them. Just when I think I'm doing okay, thoughts flood back in. I feel like the world is better off without me in it and that others would agree if they weren't a paid therapist there to give me reassurance. I'm tempted to break up with my boyfriend because he doesn't deserve this. I want to pretend I'm okay for the sake of my parents. But if they passed away, I'm not sure I'd have much strength to live for myself. This feeling is pretty bad right now. Overwhelming. I have absolutely no love for myself. I can't even distract myself by watching TV or shows I love, because all I can think is, "Look at those people. They deserve to live and be happy, and I'm not one of them." Gah, this is bad. I'm an adult, and I feel like such a baby for feeling this way. How dramatic am I? How can other people have similar (if not worse) thoughts than me, and then still be ok with themselves? I miss the person I used to be. I miss feeling okay. I feel ok momentarily, but then it all comes crashing down. I can't stand it. All I want is for things to go back to how they used to be.
I hit the SOS, and I’m just scared. If I sit with the uncertainty, then I could honestly sit here all day crying. I just can’t accept I’m not a bad person and ruined my relationship, no matter how much grace I give myself. What makes me feel better is knowing that I’m not a bad person, and trying to rationalize my mistakes - understanding everyone makes them. But then it feels like i can’t validate my good feelings because it’s “bad” and I should just accept I COULD be a bad person. It honestly sends me into a full panic. Please help!!!!!!
Just trying to accept the uncertainty and move on.... I don't want to be bad.... I want to be a good person.... But I feel like a bad person sometimes I get horribly disgusting thoughts when I'm angry and think the most horrendous things
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