Getting so depressed…

@cs223 This is so true but so challenging to really do since engaging with those thoughts is such a familiar reaction

@Genna123 it is challenging i know it’s going to take the user a while, but they need to put in extra effort cause it’s really affecting their relationship. rocd is the worst because u just get all these doubts

@cs223 Can they convince you that you’re not in love anymore!?!?

@7710 ❤️ yes it can, that happened to me with rocd and i still love the same person lol! the more u worry or think about it the more it feels real

@cs223 So true. My mom used to say the more time you spend on your thoughts, the more likely they’ll become reality (kinda like manifesting). I think this is only true to an extent in that it may not become reality but it will become YOUR reality if you believe it. So while my boyfriend could truly love me, if i repeat over and over that he doesn’t, my reality will be that he wants to be less in my life and confirm my anxiety that he doesn’t love me when in actual reality (outside of the black and white of love or not love) it’s not all about love but his ability to take care of himself too

@Genna123 When does it stop being ROCD?

@Genna123 ….I’ve been taking Zoloft for a week and 2 days… I feel nothing for him… I am worried I actually don’t want him anymore!

@Genna123 Please.. I don’t know what to do.. I try to sit with it but it makes me sick.. It’s hard for me to wanna have sex bc a name of a coworker who I know I don’t have feelings for pops in my head and I try to show love but am completely depressed. There is something in me refusing to break up with my partner. I am so exhausted that I can’t fight anymore… that I believe I am lying to him leading him on or even using him.. which is a lie. I just can’t.. my mind is empty. I hate it when others hug me. Definitely when my mother does it bc she was never really a show love type of person in the past

@Genna123 Am I just.. unhappy… I am unhappy about other parts in my life… but I hate feeling like this.. I can’t take it much more. I still test myself and nothing. No reaction no crying… nothing… sometimes I do. I just want my happy moments back…

@7710 ❤️ don’t test urself, i understand how u feel. i have a partner and other people pop into my head during sex as well, but I don’t pay attention to it, i pay attention to what’s going on and live in the moment. u know u love him that’s why u won’t break up with him. keep trying to sit with the uncertainty, u don’t have to feel anything all the time to love someone

@cs223 I know it’s not all ROCD sometimes I do doubt the relationship. I love him alot and when I didn’t constantly doubt I was happy. I don’t wanna break up but it like I do at the sametime… 😞 ROCD made things so much worse… I just… want my relationship back to normal again. Constantly thinking I wanna break up or if I try n out to think about it I start analyzing my feelings for him… I love my pudding alot I just want things to be normal again…

@cs223 I just don’t wanna be the relationship is gonna die… 😭😭 I really do love him so much! I constantly believe I am in denial… 😢 breaking up is the only thing on my mind… He’s been working so hard to bring in more money too knowing my hours have been down due to me not wanting to be at work due to my mental disorder. I work but I’ve cut my hours drastically bc I can’t handling working and dealing with other people anymore.. I am a good worker I just can’t do full time hours and I even asked my managers to switch me to a different area but they won’t.. 😞

@7710 ❤️ u gotta make the change to take big steps, it’s gonna be hard but u have to really try. go back to work, talk to ur boyfriend, go out, have fun,do all of those things while u have thoughts of not loving him and breaking up because ocd wants to ruin everything for u. u are loved and u love him a lot. don’t analyze ur feelings for him or ur most definitely not gonna feel anything. ur so hyper aware of ur “feelings” that u don’t feel them anymore because looking for feelings doesn’t make them genuine. i want to see u and him fix the relationship, everytime I see ur posts I get really sad because I know how much u want to try with him, u just have to try harder. it’s hard I never said it was going to be easy but since u can’t get therapy u have to put it wayyy more effort

@7710 ❤️ You sound so similar to me. For me a lot of it, is just not having a lot of experience with what it means to be in a healthy loving relationship and to be a good worker with boundaries. I grew up with not a lot of consistency and my parents struggled with work- life balance and we didn’t have a lot of family friends or anything like that. So as an adult it’s extra difficult to balance those things. I truly believe there is no soul mates and that the more options we think we have- sometimes the more unhappy we become- bc we start looking at every other optipn and thinking each one will make us happier than we are. In reality it’s building peace in the space you are in from my experience. Create a space for yourself to exist beyond your partner and give yourself time focusing on you and then see if he fits into the place you are at this moment. For example, if you enjoy cooking then do it for yourself, and overtime you’ll see if your partner consistently encourages this joy, participates with you, or takes away that joy. There will be things you disagree on (lots of things imo😂) but really focus on naming those emotions you feel and building your vocabulary. For me, when my boyfriend does something i dont like, i think in my head, that action made me sad, i will allow myself to feel that sadness and alleviate through something i enjoy without my partner. This helps me avoid reassurance from him and instead forces me to acknowledge i am a person outside of who i am with him :)

@7710 ❤️ Also give yourself space to disagree with him and find people who agree with you. For example, my partner and i have slightly different political beliefs, i see his perspective but if i try to force myself to agree i feel resentful so instead i discuss more in depth politics with those who have more similar beliefs. I know that just because someone has more similar political beliefs to me though- does not mean they are a better partner but rather we all have different puzzle pieces that match up with different people in different ways😊

@7710 ❤️ Same thing with attractiveness… my partner is a human and has an imperfect human body just like me- there are things about people that i can find attractive and that’s okay! No one is the whole package (i know im not). Instead i allow myself to think, “hey that person has really pretty eyes and cute cheeks, awe they so cute!” And a lot of times i’ll even say to my partner “hey that persons eyes were so pretty!” I know these traits do not make that person a better partner and i know my partner trusts me to still love him even if someone elses cheeks are slightly cuter or eyes are slightly prettier. We both really try to practice having confidence in our own body so then we can say “hey yeah that person has cool eyes but i like my eyes too! I love that my eyes look like amber and it’s cool they’re eyes look like emeralds” :) hope This helps. It’s a lot but just some things ive learned from years of tough times

@Genna123 Yeah but… did you ever feel 100% certain? Can ROCD really do that much damage? My partner is trying. I know he is. He feels like he’s not enough sometimes…

@7710 ❤️ ocd can make all ur bad thoughts feel extremely real.

@7710 ❤️ well my partner doesn’t but i do? what’s up

@cs223 Both me and my partner have trauma. He deals with his in such a different way than I do. He sometimes shows it when he gets upset. But it doesn’t always happen. He is mostly calm and can be goofy. Me I am just… so aggressive towards people I am always mean. I can never relax or I feel like I am being lazy. I even organize when I have dinner in my hand. I don’t know why I brought it up. But I was just curious if you get jealous bc your partner can be calmer everyday when you can be.. I guess it’s more than ROCD that’s the issue..

@cs223 I am worried I feel too calm… I don’t wanna break up with him but it’s like I honestly want to… I don’t want this to be it.. I don’t wanna be in another relationship with another guys. 😢 I don’t wanna end my 12 year relationship.. I just want this to be ROCD so badly. I know I love him still. I know it!! I don’t wanna say goodbye!! Can this be ROCD without intrusive thoughts? Just me obsessively asking myself the same questions over and over again!?!!!

@7710 ❤️ yes that’s rocd, u know it is.