I think I honestly have to confess, please help

Very true, reassurance seeking and confession are my biggest compulsions. I guess the tough part for me is determining if it really was just "thoughts". Everyone tells me I didn't act on it, but if my intentions were bad, isn't that call "acting" on it in itself? Technically it's not just thoughts then?

@Igraine Reddit gets me in so much turmoil! Every relationship is different and everyone has feelings (even brief) for someone else in a long term relationship. To deny that would to deny human nature. I know my boyfriend sees other people as attractive and as long as nothing happened I’m not worried because i trust him. It seems like your girlfriend trusts you so no matter your intentions you seemed to learn from this experience and based on your feelings of remorse will not make this mistake again. I have”emotionally cheated” and i learned why it wasn’t healthy for my relationship and it hurt me more than anyone. I have never acted on any of my feelings for others and gone through with them because I know deep down (even when im out of it) that i love what i have with my boyfriend. It sounds like if you really wanted to pursue something with this friend you would have but you gave up and now are realizing you wouldn’t have wanted to jeopardize your relationship or your friendship. I have the same thing where sometimes I remember talking to someone else and be angry with myself but i also know that it is in the past and my frustration with my past self shows that i am very committed in my relationship and that i have grown. Now I wouldn’t ever jeopardize what i have because i know the immense remorse i would feel afterwards and it keeps me in check. Doesn’t mean I don’t find other people attractive- just that there’s no reason to act on those feelings because i’ll feel awful afterwards and if I’m generally happy with my boyfriend then i made the decision and commitment to be a monogamous relationship and i try to trust he feels the same way. If your girlfriend was a bit stand offish then it makes sense you wanted love from somewhere else because you wanted to feel wanted but you now seem to feel these feelings were temporary and your commitment now to your girlfriend is strongee

@Genna123 When i say emotionally cheated i mean felt like i had low self esteem because my bf was distracted w something else in life and I talked to another man for attention (not super inappropriately) but i know my intentions were not in the best interest of my relationship long term so yes it’s emotionally not committed but it seems like you realized that you didn’t want to continue down that path once those feelings died down

@Genna123 Wow, this response really struck home. It's comforting to know that another has gone through similar emotions/experiences. I feel guilty because I think to an extent, even though my gf disagrees, I emotionally cheated with this friend as well, and one other night of drinking this friend squeezed my hand and I think we held hands for a few seconds. I've told my gf this as well and she still thinks I was just being a good friend, but I always have this feeling she just doesn't "get" the severity if that makes sense. It got so bad I actually largely stopped talking to this friend to avoid such situations. Our relationship is much better now because I now strongly voice when I'm upset with how things are, and it's much healthier now! I think that's partly why I feel so guilty, because these events in the past make me feel undeserving

@Igraine Yeah when I say emotionally cheated I mean largelt the same, I did vent some relationship troubles to this friend but never expressed any romantic or sexual intent to her

@Igraine Sorry @Genna123, I might have accidentally hit delete on your comment, but I appreciate the kindness 😊