:(

hello, i recovered from sexuality ocd about 5 years ago and my ocd is coming back. not in the form of sexuality ocd more in the form of rocd. i have the sweetest most amazing boyfriend and my brain tries to convince me i don’t love him. some days i’m fine even great, then other days i am terrible. today was a terrible day, i just felt like i should give up. recovering from sexuality ocd on my own was extremely hard but this feels even worse. losing someone i love so much is my biggest fear. the way he holds me makes me feel safe, his eyes are beautiful, his smile is even better. he tries to understand me and he holds me even if i sound crazy (which he always says i don’t) i just want to get better for us. i want to be strong but i feel so weak. i am terrified to start therapy as i believe they will tell me i don’t have ocd and I’m lying and i really don’t love my boyfriend. i know it’s not true i know it but it just feels so real.

Relationship OCD

SpookyKiwi

Date posted: 2y

I know exactly what you mean, my fiancée is the most perfect human being imaginable. My ROCD started very suddenly, like a lightswitch flipped in my brain, I dont recognize him, everythings feels off. But there are good moments when I don't feel that horrible numbness ( I'm not sure if you experience numbness) The best thing to do is to live in every moment together, sit with the uncomfortable feelings and don't fight the thoughts, let them flow. Easier said than done. I do struggle with it too, But it will be ok❤️ Stay Strong 💪🏻

crazyfeelings

Date posted: 2y

@SpookyKiwi thank you so much! i don’t experience numbness and i’ve been trying super hard to just like allow the thoughts to be there but sometimes it’s really hard. i hope you’re recovery is going smoothly🫶🏻 have you gone to a therapist for anything?

SpookyKiwi

Date posted: 2y

@crazyfeelings I'm super glad you are trying, keep going! Many people say they don't have the strength but we all have the strength to do it, just takes some time and motivation. Its exhausting but it will always be worth it. Slip ups will happen and you'll give into compulsions but feeling better and pushing through is possible. Thank you! - currently still looking for a good therapist, unfortunely where I live the online therapy on this app isn't available- Awaken Into Love on Youtube is a great channel thats helped me through this, I'd recommend checking them out if you haven't already👍🏻👍🏻

crazyfeelings

Date posted: 2y

@SpookyKiwi thank you so much🫶🏻

ObiWanA

Date posted: 2y

i am sorry you are going through that! i struggle with so ocd and rocd as well and it is so much anxiety it’s unbearable sometimes. keep going and go against ocd! you love your partner even if you don’t feel it

ObiWanA

Date posted: 2y

@ObiWanA may i ask how you overcame so ocd? it’s my biggest struggle and it’s been months

crazyfeelings

Date posted: 2y

@ObiWanA so the biggest things that helped me was 1st doing the things i feared the most. some examples of that was some songs i was terrified of, i would listen to them until i felt calm and okay. another one was i was afraid to hang out with old friends so i would do it. 2nd i would always like not necessarily validate the feelings but i would be like “okay maybe i do like girls who cares” or i would says “it’s my ocd but if it’s not that’s fine too” just make it seem not important even though it’s extremely hard. 3rd always be okay with the ups and downs. some days you might struggle to think it’s not true but the next day you have to try to come back stronger never give up!! 4th always try not to reassure yourself. so no looking things up, looking on here for reassurance, checking, etc. just sit with it, if you do the things i said in the 2nd part of this during it you can get through it. No reassurance!! It’s so hard and i’m trying to do this with my rocd but it takes a lot of time! But i remember the feeling of realizing i hadn’t thought about it all day was the best! if i can do it on my own so can you🫶🏻

ObiWanA

Date posted: 2y

@crazyfeelings thank you so so much for taking the time to answer to me and thank you for your message, it means a lot! i hope you overcome your rocd too and find some peace!!

crazyfeelings

Date posted: 2y

@ObiWanA thank you lots💓

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