- Date posted
- 2y
Contamination
Anyone here suffer with contamination ocd and how are you getting along with this crappy theme?
Anyone here suffer with contamination ocd and how are you getting along with this crappy theme?
I have contamination OCD, specifically in relation to environmental toxins and my kids. I'm not getting along very well these days. I see contaminants everywhere. I have a very difficult time differentiating between real and perceived risks, and in determining risk levels. I start therapy tomorrow and am hopeful. But I can't get past the idea that I should be as worried as I am, or that I'm doing things wrong.
Glad you're beginning therapy, good luck!!
@Dulse I can relate so much! I have PP OCD and it pretty much all relates around my baby! I catastrosize everything and that’s what what makes it feel impossible to come up with exposures on my own. Because let’s face it everything does have some risk and I have a really hard time accurately discerning risks and sometimes underestimate real like risks because I’m so busy overestimating the risks that follow my partial ocd themes. I have a hard time determining if the exposures are actually putting my children at risk or not and they all feel like they are and like it’s too big a risk so I stay stagnant. For me I think that’s the biggest reason I need a therapist!
I do and it really sucks! It can be frustrating in because others who don’t have this theme are sort of dismissive about it because of frustration about the stereotypes without realizing that their attitude is further isolating those of us that actually do have the contamination subtype. Especially when someone who does have OCD will say something like I wish my theme was just contamination. But that’s the thing about OCD it latches onto whatever you personally value most and can’t accept uncertainty about. So their dismissive attitude about it is exactly why it’s not their theme. It certainly is distressing to those of us that do suffer this theme though. Also our theme usually has more observable compulsions and physical side effects from the overwashing which further complicates it. Sorry you’re suffering with this crappy theme too!!
I agree so much! Spot on! Contamination issues can lead to much problem, an isolated life and son on.
Yes I've been suffering with it since I can remember, it is exhausting, depressing and debilitating. Every day is an effort to will myself into doing the most basic things. I hate it.
I deal with contamination OCD. I’m doing better now, dealing with it, then I was before.
Search treatment! You can manage so much better with the right help.
back in october i made my first post about my specific type of ocd, how it mixes in with my day to day and how i “deal” with it. i talked about the starting point, how it gradually got worse, and then how it was going just a few months ago. i always think it’s insane how much can change in just the course of a small to a large amount of time. right now, i honestly feel like garbage. to be quite sincere i really want to give up, i’m barely holding on by a thread. and if i cut that thread, i really doubt anyone would care. i’ve never considered myself to be a suicidal person, and i still don’t consider myself that right now. it just gets to a point where it’s just, a lot to deal with. i don’t really enjoy things a lot nowadays. sure i have good days like everyone does, like today, when i was just enjoying my day without worries. but then it all comes crawling back twice as bad the following days. i take online college so i’m usually just stuck at home most of the time. but, when i do decide to actually go out and leave my house, my ocd just explodes because i have this whole routine i need to do or else i feel like i’ll contaminate wherever i end up going. i’m not going to go really deep into my compulsions because it’s hard enough to live with them, much more having to type them all out in detail. but when i go out my compulsions go from wiping down all my stuff i’m going to use after showering, to washing my clothes/cleaning the washer + dryer. i also have separate things (or two of the same thing) i use specifically in my house, and items i use when going out. such as shampoo/body wash, deodorant, lotion, hair curler, etc. as if that’s not draining enough, i also feel the need to fast a couple days prior to any plan i make because i’ve forced myself to believe i need to feel empty in order to be clean. i’m not sure if that’s my past eating disorder talking, or my ocd, but my brain can’t help but think any food in my house is utterly and completely contaminated. i’m so tired of this feeling, feeling like nothing will ever be clean again. feeling like my ocd is trapped in my childhood home. feeling that wave of diseases rushing through my veins the moment i step foot into what’s supposed to be “home”. and i’m so scared of therapy because what if i do get healed, and then everything comes rushing back the second i step into my room. i’m planning on moving somewhere far from my current house in this next coming year, so sometimes i feel like just waiting it out. but it’s insufferable when going to hangout with someone. i miss my friends, my family, and my partner. it’s crazy to me that i’m dealing with all this at the young age of 18 but, i’m sure lots of people have it way worse. i just want to find a way out, any possible way. but i keep pushing myself deeper and deeper that when i finally find a way, it will no longer exist.
People who went from a really bad time with OCD to a better time now. Is it really possible? What was your theme? Did you take medication?
all morning i have been feeling like there is dirt and grime on my skin. i showered last night. i washed my hair on tuesday night and i will wash it tonight. but i feel like there is dirt in my scalp and in my hair and i feel like i haven’t showered in weeks. i don’t want to feel like this anymore. every day i am anxious about how clean i am and its taking over my life. any tips?
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