Really bad flare up

I always notice my ocd gets worse when my boyfriend is out of town, but literally my brain is convinced I’m going to act out on my thoughts even when I know I don’t want to, but it’s making me feel careless as if I’d do it anyways. They’d be easier to process if it wasn’t for my brain making these thoughts seem like demands. I’m trying to resist compulsions and to not give thoughts meaning but it’s super hard, sometimes I just go into a compulsion even when I know it’s one. My brain is convinced that I’ll go insane in the future and hurt someone and it makes things feel temporary and I hate how strong of a sensation this is. I just started birth control so I hope this is just hormonal related for now, and will be easier to manage moving forward..

Harm OCD

Lisa LeeLou

User type: NOCD Alumni

Date posted: 2y ago

Thank you for sharing what you are going through. OCD loves to cause as much angst as possible and to attach to things that are important to us. When it comes to dealing with intrusive thoughts, I’ve had success responding to my thoughts with something like “maybe it’s true maybe it’s not” as a way to disengage. A lot of times trying to avoid the thoughts just results in more obsessions and compulsions. Accepting the uncomfortable thoughts/feelings is often more effective. However, of course, that is easier said than done. ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention) therapy is a treatment method for OCD. It has been a very helpful tool for me with addressing my OCD. It’s helped me to gain tools to deal with my thoughts and obsessions. If not in therapy, please consider reaching out to NOCD care team for a free consultation. Recovery is possible. Be kind and patient with yourself.

Sean10626

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y ago

I’m going through something similar, it’s focused on my mom who I’d never hurt. I’ve been going through it for a few months and have learned to manage it better and am doing much better than I was a while ago. But not quite 100% like I used to be. It can get better, just letting you know you’re not alone

carol.xxx

Date posted: 18w ago

flare up please respond

Hey guys, I am having the worst HARM OCD episode I have had in a while. I am having disgusting, awful intrusive thoughts about harming others. It feels so real. It feels as if I am about to get up and just do it. The worst bit about it all Is I know I feel distressed and panicked. But where the thoughts are actually happening ( in my head) doesnt feel this feeling. This is making it feel worse as it really does feel like Im just going to do it. I am crying my eyes out because I know im petrified and dont want to hurt anyone im so scared. I have this terrible intrusive feeling in my that feels like its justifying the thoughts. Please can someone talk as I am scared Im crying I dont want know what to do I want this feeling gone I am so scared. I tell myself Id kill myself before hurting anyone else, but would i ? What if I actually do want to kill Please respond Im so scared

Harm OCD

allyocd

Date posted: 18w ago

can SO-OCD do this?

im having a unusually hard flare up for two months. ive never had it this bad before (ive had this on and off for many years - thank god not constantly.) lately, i keep having these images in my head and scenarios in my head of me "coming out" in the future and ending my relationship with my amazing fiance who i love dearly. he knows everything but i still feel like i am constantly lying to him, my family, and friends. i need to know that this is something the SO-OCD can do to you? the weird thing is, is that i have never been attracted to woman. i do admire their beauty and wish to LOOK like them or have a specific feature they have, but i dont have any urges to like be with them yet i am dealing with this really bad flare up. My brain keeps telling me that since i have never tried it, i would never know, and i am just getting really distressed from it. i just want to be happy again and it seems impossible. I am convinced i am only person that is using SO-OCD as an excuse. Any guidance or advice, or anything really, will help. i just feel alone and scared and sad all the time.

Sexual Orientation OCD

Mika05

Date posted: 15w ago

Worried about not being anxious?

These past few days I was fine. Minimal intrusive thoughts ,no anxiety etc(to add I'm on medication so maybe it's starting to work although it barely is 2 weeks) and today I got a sudden wave of anxiety and it started latching on some thoughts like" what if I'm in denial and I wanna break up with my bf? And what if erp doesn't work for me because I actually wanna break up with my bf?" But they didn't really stay long usually those thoughts would make me spiral for days or so, now they lasted for some hours. And now I'm trying to trigger myself into being anxious again because if I don't it means I don't have ocd and if I don't have ocd it means I don't love my bf and if I don't love my bf it means I have to break up. Idk if it makes sense but the lack of anxiety makes me wonder if I actually have ocd or not.

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Really bad flare up

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