- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
Respond with uncertainty: maybe I’m gay. Maybe I’m not. Can’t know for sure. Sit with any anxiety that develops until it dissipates. Do this again and again each time the thought arises. Think of the thought on purpose just to think the uncertain response. It’s called ERP therapy and it’s the most effective treatment of OCD. You have to face your fears directly and sit with them without trying to neutralize, suppress, and analyze.
- Date posted
- 6y
@ocdsucksbutt — Its a skill you have to learn through practice. A lot of people’s knee-jerk reaction to unwanted thoughts is to try to push them away. But you can always bring them back. Next time your mind sends you an intrusive thought and you start fighting it, take a second to stop, take a deep breath, and invite the thought back in. Have it again, but this time sit with the anxiety without fighting it off with rituals and compulsions. We all have a natural fight or flight response to danger, but as we habituate to the thoughts, that too will dissipate with time. You’ll start responding with “oh it’s one of these again. Sigghhhhh... ok.” Rather than kicking into high-gear fight mode automatically.
- Date posted
- 6y
Ask, have I ever actually been gay? And say hey, it’s okay I will give it a few weeks and see if this goes away. It’s no biggie if you are or aren’t
- Date posted
- 6y
I’ve tried that and the truthful answer is no I haven’t. Same thing with the thought of being Bi pops up too
- Date posted
- 6y
Me but in reverse lmao
- Date posted
- 6y
pureolife, but how do I not fight the thoughts? I feel like my mind automatically fights the thoughts without me wanting to, it’s just a defense mechanism
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you. I truly hope I can manage, if not I’m not sure what I’ll do. A part of my anxiety is the fear of the longer I’m having this the worse it’ll get and it’ll be too late to fix.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
I’ve recovered from HOCD before and got my attraction and my usual actual identity back. I was recovered from end 2022- start 2025 until I got triggered UGHHH😭 My HOCD is REALLY trying to convince me and it’s SO annoying cause I genuinely don’t want these thoughts. I know I naturally like men and always have done so. I can’t wait for my first therapy session in two days Omg! I need your advice, not necessarily reassurance, but more advice? My HOCD is throwing random “proof” I did/ saw as a child in my face, which back then had no meaning in my life and I continued to live a perfectly heterosexual life. I’ve educated myself about arousal non concordance / child’s play, but it still doesn’t remove the HOCD. I’ve read therapists great explanations on how it’s not a sexuality issue, BUT ITS AN OCD BRAIN ISSUE. So basically I’ve been straight and i will die as straight. But my ocd is still continuing with the intrusive thoughts/flashbacks. I’ve had some moments where I haven’t done as many compulsions and had less anxiety but still had those damn thoughts and I DO NOT want those damn thoughts. I have so much proof and factual/logical explanations but HOCD is still continuing to thrive. I absolutely hate this and I feel so alone. I wish there was a reset button cause I don’t want these thoughts to happen. I want a man and I stand by that. How do y’all deal with these situations? Cause sitting with the thoughts is clearly not helping.
- Students with OCD
- Young adults with OCD
- Mid-life adults with OCD
- Sexual Orientation OCD
- Older adults with OCD
- Date posted
- 14w
I have a lot of trouble with my sexuality. I’ve been trying to figure out my sexuality for years. I’ve dated a man, and I wasn’t really into the whole time. And since then I’ve thought that maybe I’m a lesbian because I’m attracted to women, which I know for sure. But then my brain spirals, I constantly think back ti memories with my ex, how I felt with him, I check how it makes me feel. I often google to see if other lesbians have felt similar, I ask ChatGpt over and over again. I feel like I have to be 100% certain or that im faking for attention, or thst I’ll end up with a man. I guess im wondering has anyone else felt like this ? What’s been your experience how do you manage it?
- Date posted
- 13w
So I haven’t been on this app in a while. But I just want advice on how to overcome this. I’m now 18 and I’ve been trying out dating apps. I’m not gonna lie I’m kinda picky when it comes to dating only because I plan on dating to marry…so I take it a bit more seriously. But for some reason it’s so hard to click with people on these dating apps. So my friend was helping me through this dating apps process. I told her that I wasn’t interested in this guy I was texting anymore because of the way he was responding to my messages. And she says maybe you’re gay…this is honestly the sixth time (I’m definitely over exaggeration but this isn’t the first time someone had said this to me) someone has ask/said this. Every time someone says this it literally sends me down this spiral of are they seeing something I’m not seeing. Despite never having a crush on a girl my mind goes down this loop of overthinking. And when I say I don’t want that lifestyle or I don’t really find pleasure in being apart of the lgbtq community my mind is like in denial. I just wanted to have a fun teenage dating experience and now every time I open the app I always think what if I really am gay and I’m just in denial…or what if the reason why I’m not connecting with anyone is because I’m really into girls. Since i’m also religious, my mom wants to go what you’re denying who we are because of your religion. And I tried to reassure myself by saying I would know if that was the case like I would feel deep down who I’m truly attracted to and know that I’m trying to cover it up by dating men. This whole thing is so mentally taxing because I was going through this all throughout my senior year of high school and I’m not going into my freshman year of college so. Like I literally felt so much anxiety next to one of my classmates who was gay and a masculine presenting. I feel like if I would’ve told this to anyone, they’d say of course you’re in denial. But ig reply if you can relate
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