- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
Respond with uncertainty: maybe I’m gay. Maybe I’m not. Can’t know for sure. Sit with any anxiety that develops until it dissipates. Do this again and again each time the thought arises. Think of the thought on purpose just to think the uncertain response. It’s called ERP therapy and it’s the most effective treatment of OCD. You have to face your fears directly and sit with them without trying to neutralize, suppress, and analyze.
- Date posted
- 6y
@ocdsucksbutt — Its a skill you have to learn through practice. A lot of people’s knee-jerk reaction to unwanted thoughts is to try to push them away. But you can always bring them back. Next time your mind sends you an intrusive thought and you start fighting it, take a second to stop, take a deep breath, and invite the thought back in. Have it again, but this time sit with the anxiety without fighting it off with rituals and compulsions. We all have a natural fight or flight response to danger, but as we habituate to the thoughts, that too will dissipate with time. You’ll start responding with “oh it’s one of these again. Sigghhhhh... ok.” Rather than kicking into high-gear fight mode automatically.
- Date posted
- 6y
Ask, have I ever actually been gay? And say hey, it’s okay I will give it a few weeks and see if this goes away. It’s no biggie if you are or aren’t
- Date posted
- 6y
I’ve tried that and the truthful answer is no I haven’t. Same thing with the thought of being Bi pops up too
- Date posted
- 6y
Me but in reverse lmao
- Date posted
- 6y
pureolife, but how do I not fight the thoughts? I feel like my mind automatically fights the thoughts without me wanting to, it’s just a defense mechanism
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you. I truly hope I can manage, if not I’m not sure what I’ll do. A part of my anxiety is the fear of the longer I’m having this the worse it’ll get and it’ll be too late to fix.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 15w
So I identify as a lesbian and I am in a committed relationship with a wonderful girl. But i’m stressing that I have crushes on boys I go to school with. I get anxious around them, which I think I mistake for excitement. I obsess over it in my head which confuses me a lot. Idk I also never think about them sexually or romantically but I think about them often which is scaring me. Any advice?
- Date posted
- 13w
I need too know that I'm not insane, really. I am 16 and for the past two weeks, this has been completely ruining my health and happiness. I only recently came out as a lesbian like 3 months ago after a lot of confusion about my attraction since I used to think I liked men. At first, I felt so sure that I liked women, but lately, I've been having these unwanted thoughts about the possibility of liking men. I never used to feel this way, but now, every time I look at a man, my brain obsessively fixates on it. It forces me to imagine kissing him, loving him, things I don’t want, and then tries to convince me that I do. It’s painful. The thought of this fills me with fear and anxiety, leading to panic attacks and breakdowns. I don’t want these thoughts. I hate them with every fiber of my being, but I’m terrified that one day I’ll act on them and somehow like it. I used to think I liked men, but back then, I was in a very unhealthy space in a time of escapism and something deeply parasocial. I’ve only ever liked the attention and validation a man could give me, but these experiences are somehow treated as further proof that I’m "bisexual." I’ve never been in a real relationship with anyone, which makes my brain constantly challenge me—telling me, “You don’t even know what love feels like.” It won’t shut up. It keeps obsessively trying to make me prove that I’m a lesbian, testing my reactions and questioning my certainty. Is this normal?
- Date posted
- 13w
As a lesbian with SO-OCD, I feel so helpless. It's truly exhausting because no one I know understands what I'm going through. The first response is always, "You're just confused" or "You don't have to know yet." But that's not the issue, I do know. I just never see any lesbians with SO-OCD so I feel so invalidated. These thoughts flood my brain constantly, forcing me to analyze my reactions to every man I see. I feel trapped in an endless cycle of "testing" myself, trying to prove that I don't like them. But my brain fights back, telling me I do want to love a man, making it feel real even though don't want it. It's terrifying. At this point, it's hard to even hold onto my identity as a lesbian because I'm so overwhelmed. I don't know if this is what real attraction is supposed to feel like, and that fear eats away at me. The truth is, when I think about being with a man, all I feel is disgust and fear-but my brain twists that into doubt. I hate it. I'm at the point where I'm scared I'm going to have to accept something I don't want because I don't know if this will ever go away. I miss who I was before all this.
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