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- 2y
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- 2y
I can love you as a friend
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- 2y
I love you as a fellow ocd suffering compatriot.
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- 2y
I feel this. I never really have anyone I can call. I don’t think if I were to pass i would be missed of remembered much, not even by my family. But I’ve learned to be good on my own so far. And tbh I’ve learned to love myself a lot to the point where I know I’m gonna be ok. Butttttr what keeps me going is hope. I have so much hope that one day I’m going to have a partner and a big friend group. That makes me excited for the future
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I'm working on having the friend group but I just lost my would be fiance in August after 6 years together. I pushed him away out of fear and he doesn't want me anymore.
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@ILikeMyself That’s ok hun. I also struggle with perfectionism a lot and have pushed people away, but here’s how I see it: I want to be with someone when I’m healthy. Only healthy people can have a healthy relationship. TRUST MR girl when i say this that there are plenty of fish in the sea. Once you get better, your going to find at least 5 versions of that man lol. Don’t give up, it’s gonna be ok, I promise
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- 2y
@Anonymous Thank you so much
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Perfectism can make you feel unlovable. It lies. Do you have parents who love you?
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Not in the way I needed them to
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@ILikeMyself I’m sorry that’s the case.
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@ILikeMyself Can you accept the level of love they can give you as love?
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@Erin P I have accepted that my parents will never change. But I think I unconsciously transferred all of those expectations to my ex partner.
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@ILikeMyself Sounds like you are very insightful. I hope you can he kind to yourself and know that you are lovable.
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I can't handle making mistakes. I sabotaged the relationship because I no longer thought our origin story was perfect and our fights made me fear the future and I made up all these scenarios in my head about him taking away my kids in a divorce down the line. It was crazy but I couldn't stop. I had to physically leave to my parents house to calm down. He didn't want couples therapy. But would've if I had waited 9 months until after his school but I got scared I couldn't deal with the anxiety that long and tried to force him .
Related posts
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- 21w
I’m really down and don’t have anyone i feel i can turn to. I’m just so tired of living as myself. I hate who i love with including myself. I feel so worthless. Having ocd on top of it makes me feel like im just a waste of space. I dont know how to stop feeling this way. Or if i deserve to. That’s all :(
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- 21w
I’ve been single for a very long time. I’ve always attached really heavily to people and highly prioritized being in a relationship. I know I can be happy on my own but sometimes all i can think about is how I wish someone loved me like that, it consumes my entire brain. For that reason Valentine’s day feels pretty sad to me. I’m gonna have to stay off social media so i don’t see people posting about how much they love their significant others because i know it’ll make me spiral. Also since it’s valentine’s day i keep having intrusive thoughts of my loved ones having sex and it feels really gross.
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- 20w
It sucks because wanting to have a lover is a natural human desire and I'm afraid that my OCD about being alone forever will make it true. I'm a weird person, I'm autistic and I have odd kinks, so the idea that no one will ever love me just keeps coming back I'm trying to tell myself that I deserve a relationship and my kinks make my uniquely fun and loveable to the right people so I'm just going to keep repeating that and hope it comes true. I also made myself a Valentine... So there's that. I'm doing my best Hope you have a great day
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