- Date posted
- 2y
- Date posted
- 2y
I can love you as a friend
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- 2y
I love you as a fellow ocd suffering compatriot.
- Date posted
- 2y
I feel this. I never really have anyone I can call. I don’t think if I were to pass i would be missed of remembered much, not even by my family. But I’ve learned to be good on my own so far. And tbh I’ve learned to love myself a lot to the point where I know I’m gonna be ok. Butttttr what keeps me going is hope. I have so much hope that one day I’m going to have a partner and a big friend group. That makes me excited for the future
- Date posted
- 2y
I'm working on having the friend group but I just lost my would be fiance in August after 6 years together. I pushed him away out of fear and he doesn't want me anymore.
- Date posted
- 2y
@ILikeMyself That’s ok hun. I also struggle with perfectionism a lot and have pushed people away, but here’s how I see it: I want to be with someone when I’m healthy. Only healthy people can have a healthy relationship. TRUST MR girl when i say this that there are plenty of fish in the sea. Once you get better, your going to find at least 5 versions of that man lol. Don’t give up, it’s gonna be ok, I promise
- Date posted
- 2y
@Anonymous Thank you so much
- Date posted
- 2y
Perfectism can make you feel unlovable. It lies. Do you have parents who love you?
- Date posted
- 2y
Not in the way I needed them to
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- 2y
@ILikeMyself I’m sorry that’s the case.
- Date posted
- 2y
@ILikeMyself Can you accept the level of love they can give you as love?
- Date posted
- 2y
@Erin P I have accepted that my parents will never change. But I think I unconsciously transferred all of those expectations to my ex partner.
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- 2y
@ILikeMyself Sounds like you are very insightful. I hope you can he kind to yourself and know that you are lovable.
- Date posted
- 2y
I can't handle making mistakes. I sabotaged the relationship because I no longer thought our origin story was perfect and our fights made me fear the future and I made up all these scenarios in my head about him taking away my kids in a divorce down the line. It was crazy but I couldn't stop. I had to physically leave to my parents house to calm down. He didn't want couples therapy. But would've if I had waited 9 months until after his school but I got scared I couldn't deal with the anxiety that long and tried to force him .
Related posts
- Date posted
- 18w
Was just remembering and ruminating on extremely traumatic and disturbing drawings I looked at as a teen. I'm trying to move past it because I cannot go back and unsee what I've seen, it's so difficult though. Feeling like people would look at me with disgust and I don't deserve the love that I crave desperately.
- Date posted
- 15w
man these few weeks have been so hard. i’m in the process of getting diagnosed with ocd, im almost positive i have it because everything on here relates to me on an insane level. but im just so scared dude. these thoughts of me harming someone are so scary and im so scared im gonna eventually act on them and i know i never want to but its still so scary. like sometimes when i talk to my mom about it i think in the back of my head “you know you want to” when i dont, and it makes me think or gets me scared that i do. these thoughts literally just happened out of nowhere and it messes me up so bad my literal perspective on life in general is just messed up. like i view life as its more common to be a bad person and its rare/hard to be good. can someone please just pray for me or just wish me better days. i dont even like looking at myself anymore and im scared i give off creepy vibes to myself or others now, this sucks so much
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 14w
This is just a vent. Feels nice to just be honest about who I am and my deficiencies. Mental health advocates are always like "you deserve to live no matter what" and I'm like "bet lol" I am not a good person whose presence has any positive impact on the world. I'm not evil, just useless without having the excuse of depression or whatever (it's anxiety based but again who gives a shit). If I were to go away, I wouldn't be missed because I contribute nothing of note. If we did not live in the US where you can get by without being socially accepted as long as you have loving parents, I would either be dead or would have stepped up and might actually be a valuable member of society (like between being dead and pushing through my anxiety I would probably choose the latter lol). Interpersonally, I have no redeeming qualities. No I'm not one of those people who says that shit and then lists all the ways they're actually decent but just have low self-esteem, I'm genuinely useless. I'm unreliable when it comes to group projects and my job, usually doing the bare minimum or less than that. When it comes to my work in general, I tend to drop the ball, often waiting till the last minute to get started on it, turning it in late, or simply not turning it in at all. I make promises about the things I will do and then don't do them. I also lack initiative and just follow orders. Socially, I don't have any friends and don't make an effort to try to gain any - I tend to act distant in social interactions and don't join in when people are having group conversations. I'm a talented artist, but the only work I've ever shown others in the last few years has been shoddy, amateurish, and completely unreflective of my abilities, and I've never been complimented for it lol. How do I feel about all this? Pretty freaking bad, yet I make no effort to change. I'm afraid of most things so I avoid them, screwing up my own life and negatively affecting other people's as well. Despite all this, I have this desire to be accepted by someone else as I am. The fact that I accept myself shows that it's possible, I guess (you could argue that I don't have a choice but I definitely chose to be okay with myself after years of self-loathing). I have a shit-ton of flaws and nothing to really offset them - I mean I'm self-aware but I think self-awareness is completely useless if you don't do anything about what you've observed in yourself, and less self-aware people are able to take more risks - and I just have this fantasy of someone showing up and looking at all that I am and being like "you have contributed literally nothing to society and you have no redeeming qualities but I accept you as you are and love you, for no reason other than I just do." But based on the comics I've read this can only happen if you're childhood friends who've known each other for a long time lol. No reason someone's gonna want to be friends with some random person who leaves a poor first impression and doesn't do anything to further the relationship. The plus side of this is that I have a /lot/ of room for growth, lots of things to change that could make me a better person. The negative side is that it is still just as hard to not be avoidant af as it was yesterday
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