- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
Rather than starting from a place of evaluating him, start with evaluating your values: make a list of things that are important, must-haves to you in a relationship. It can be anything from the qualities of the person to how they make you feel to how they deal with their shortcomings. Then step back and see if that person seems realistic or if you think getting say 75% of that would meet your needs. Whittle it down to your true “deal-breakers.” NOW take a look at your guy. If you see that yes, he has flaws, and yes, the relationship is sometimes a lot of work and hard, BUT he has the things you consider your must-haves, I’d say it’s just a matter of communicating your needs and working together to improve things. Plus more work on your OCD, of course.
- Date posted
- 6y
Feelings come and go and are influenced by too many factors to count. Not just him.
- Date posted
- 6y
That's the kind of discussion you need to have to him. Reciprocal compromise and effort is entirely OK to expect. Different personalities play a factor but if you reach an understanding, it needs to be shown. If you're making the effort to make it work so that he can see that, he needs to do that too. Ocd can absolutely flare up anxiety and that needs to be at a manageable level to consider that some thoughts are worth listening to.
- Date posted
- 6y
Just because you have OCD doesn't mean legitimate and normal doubts aren't possible. It's entirely possible you both won't be on the same page sometimes. If you manage the anxiety and don't let it overwhelm you, it's easier to see which thoughts mean something to you. All this based on your values and what you want from a relationship. Aka commitment, honesty, communication etc Those are the things that keep a relationship strong and they need to be discussed by every couple. Including us neurotic ones :)
- Date posted
- 6y
You think your not mentally stable. I have ocd as well I have harm thoughts. About my children. And I’m getting the best exposure cause there dad is never here. Im constantly alone with my kids. I’m forced to get better . I feel like I would get better faster if I wasn’t with him cause he causes me stress.
- Date posted
- 6y
You should go home a knife wen you have those thought. If u have ocd and anxiety you won’t do it
- Date posted
- 6y
Hi Daisy, does the Y-BOC help—it asks if you often spending an hour+ each day stressing over them? For non-partners who don’t live up to my standards some day, I complain 15 minutes and move on vowing to depend on them less next time. It’s also not either/or. You could have ROCD AND they’re a poor partner. ;)
- Date posted
- 6y
Imagine ur self without him/her and see if ud be happy or not
- Date posted
- 6y
You have the same name as my sister ? and I can’t even think that far, I’ve expressed why I’m unhappy and seeing him sad made me sad, but I don’t know what I’m feeling
- Date posted
- 6y
I'd say that's feeling checking. Definitely not good. If anything, I'd suggest to see if your needs are being met. And if they're not, if you're willing to reach a compromise together. Values are huge in relationships. Are you living by yours and do they align with his?
- Date posted
- 6y
Lmao that nice and btw I rlly don’t know what to say u can ask a therapist I might have ocd
- Date posted
- 6y
You*
- Date posted
- 6y
He doesn’t seem to reciprocate the effort and sacrifices I make for us to be together, I know that sometimes personality can restrict why people do or don’t do things, but I feel like that’s my problem and not his, and as I have the problem I have to accept whether or not I’m willing to to be with him and ignore what I want... on the same hand I feel like I should be with someone who loves me for me, and compromising and both sides is mutual and respected. At the moment it seems one sided, I figure this is simply just doubts about a relationship and not OCD
- Date posted
- 6y
I do have OCD and I am under treatment, but it’s simply figuring out whether it’s my illness or genuine feelings, it blurs into one
- Date posted
- 6y
I think about leaving my bf everyday. Doesn’t make me anxious because he’s not meeting my needs he’s pissing me off and I don’t really want to b with him anymore . I’m struggling rn bad. N he’s always working. N he doesn’t care at all. Just ignores me. No support what so ever. He’s gonna b in shock wen he comes home one day Amie n the kids aren’t here. I mean moving out.
- Date posted
- 6y
Feel the same way... ^. Lisa. Although I’m not mentally able to take care of my kids... as I’m always struggling to stay safe.... life is a joke
- Date posted
- 6y
I have contasnt meltdowns, where I need to leave. If I stay I become suicidal and it’s very hard to cope when it gets bad
- Date posted
- 6y
Is it suicidal thoughts ? Have you tried medication. It really helped me calm down for my kids. Other wise I probably would have tried to stick it out.
- Date posted
- 6y
I’ve had a few thoughts but I try not to call them suicidal so it doesn’t stick I guess. I thought about taking all my pills. I had a image of me floating in my hot tub. But I no I would never do these things. I went nnput all mybpills in my hand. Sat there. I put them all back in the bottle and moved on with my day.
- Date posted
- 6y
Yes plenty. That makes it worse , I feel. The thoughts become more vivid .., and slightly more intense , as well as the moods. I’m stuck w where I’m at, I’ll b miserable cuz I can’t support as far as bills by myself I’ll b homeless , the kid would prlly get taken away cuz I’ll b unstable. Sucks. I’m trapped , so suicide is the way out..
- Date posted
- 6y
Yea , I have a things w knives and self harm too , but never acted on them too bad... sucks just suffering .. just want to run away
- Date posted
- 6y
No. Don’t say that. You nonyou wouldn’t turn to suicide. Your just stressed and stuck in the circle. Have you taking medication long enough for it to start working. I had a really hard time in the beginning. It’s subsided n I feel a lot better.
- Date posted
- 6y
Hold ‘
- Date posted
- 6y
3 months it hits me hard , and then I switched meds. 17 diff tries , I’m only taking mult vitamins but haven’t been taking them for the past three days and I think that’s what is also screwing up w me too at least a little bit that’s throwing me off
- Date posted
- 6y
A have I tried celexa or sertraline
- Date posted
- 6y
U
- Date posted
- 6y
My dr told me that a person with out thoughts is more likely to do the things I’m scared of. That goes for all of us. Our anxiety is a key reminder that we r scared of these things and we would never act on them
- Date posted
- 6y
I struggle w/ even seeing the thought of it I had to hide them from not seeing them , I was doing good for a while w that, hasn’t been too active too much. Just The suicide , and emotional, and angry ,, etc. the ‘ normal ‘
- Date posted
- 6y
Yep Zoloft did it for a week but it was always mixed w another pill.
- Date posted
- 6y
I only had one pill by itself and that was for lamaitcal and that was a yr (only on it for one year ), after I had my child , which brought on the bad thoughts too w my child, three years later it subsided, after I got off the meds ...
- Date posted
- 6y
Hide the knifes. I use to b scared of knifes to but it was cause I was scared I was gonna stab some one. ( my kids ). But I new I couldn’t hide them my fb wouldn’t let me. So I would just hurry up and put them away. I don’t do that anymore. When I’m cooking I leave them on the counter till I’m done cooking. Or done eating. Then I wash and put away. Face your fears
- Date posted
- 6y
Zoloft has worked wonders for me. You should try again
- Date posted
- 6y
I’m up to 150 mg now everyday I feel a bit better. 5 weeks in
- Date posted
- 6y
Sheesh. I’m scared to try meds again. I’ll get hospitalized again. How many times have you been in the psych ward
- Date posted
- 6y
I got completely better on Zoloft. But I felt too good I stoped my pills n had a relapse
- Date posted
- 6y
None
- Date posted
- 6y
Almost alit if times.
- Date posted
- 6y
I went to my sr instead. Got some lorazapam. Clonazapam
- Date posted
- 6y
0?????? Wow you lucky. I’ve been 4 times either coming off pills or on pills when I was on them and had to get put on a hold ..
- Date posted
- 6y
How long did u have to stay.
- Date posted
- 6y
My fb been there befor so he would talk me out of it get me to calm down. Take couple lorazapam go to bed.
- Date posted
- 6y
First time-2 weeks , 2 nd time -4 days , 3/4 times-3 days
- Date posted
- 6y
Yes I was on Ativan in the hospital last tome as needed. Made me have a panic attack when I was home alone and thought I was dying and I stopped it
- Date posted
- 6y
That’s not long at all.
- Date posted
- 6y
You have a thing about taking medications.
- Date posted
- 6y
Yes , becuz I was a preemie so I’m prlly very sentistve but no drs care so .,
- Date posted
- 6y
I take clonazapam now and it knocks me out befor I can Evan feel anything lol but I haven’t needed to take it lately. I been so tired
- Date posted
- 6y
Ask for some clonazapam
- Date posted
- 6y
I have no trouble sleepin , it’s just during the day ... they always gave me shit for sleeping and I would have nightmares cuz of it that I would end up in Crisis , not normal . Oh well I’ve been off since March so .., I’m ok. When I have my vitamins normally... I guess ???., ?♀️
- Date posted
- 6y
Pills give u nightmares.
- Date posted
- 6y
You no with some pills you can use some herbs or vitamins
- Date posted
- 6y
I drank a tea that had catnip herb in it and I have a interaction. Made me feel crazy !! I use awake thought I was losing it. I took 2 1 mg lorazapam n still didn’t knock me out. I stoped drinking that tea n been fine ever since
Related posts
- Date posted
- 21w
Hi everyone. I’m really struggling and I need to let it all out. I’ve been dealing with ROCD (or what I think is ROCD) for a long time, and I feel like I’m at my breaking point. I’m in a loving relationship with a boyfriend who is kind, understanding, and patient. But ever since I started reading a lot online, googling symptoms, talking to AI like ChatGPT, searching for reassurance, things have gotten worse and worse. And now… I feel completely disconnected from my feelings. I don’t know what’s real anymore. My boyfriend told me that he believes I’ve convinced myself that I have something that needs to be treated, and that all this constant researching is making me feel worse. And honestly, I think he’s right. Before I fell into this cycle, I could be more intimate with him. I used to say “I love you,” I used to feel warmth. Now I don’t say it anymore. I haven’t in a long time. And it hurts him. And I know I’m hurting him, and that makes it even worse. He also said that maybe I’m having these obsessive thoughts because I don’t have a daily purpose, that I need to get occupied, to stop being consumed by this. And others in my life have told me the same. He even suggested taking a break from each other for a week, just to give me space. But I’m terrified of that. I’m scared that the thing I fear most will become “the truth.” I’m scared I’ll feel relief, and that will mean everything I fear is real. But he told me that if I don’t want the break, maybe it means I still care. Still love. Still want this. The problem is, I don’t know anymore. And that’s what’s killing me. I’ve also had a psychologist who told me that just because I feel guilt or “care,” it doesn’t necessarily mean I like him — and that sent me spiraling. She said that maybe I care about people in general, but it doesn’t mean I love him. And it made me feel like I’m just lying to myself. That maybe I’m holding on out of obligation, or because I set in my head that I “have to be with him.” And even when he tells me beautiful things — logical things — things that SHOULD make me feel safe and seen… I don’t feel better. I just feel more empty. And then I start spiraling again: “If this doesn’t help me feel better, then something must be wrong.” “What if I’m just pretending?” “What if I’ve been lying to myself all along?” I feel like there’s something wrong inside of me. Like no matter what anyone says, or how much love I’m given, I can’t feel it. I just want to know what to do. I want someone to tell me what this is. I want to stop feeling like I’m running after a version of myself that used to feel, used to love, used to be calm. I don’t know if this is ROCD or if I’m just slowly facing a truth I’ve been afraid to accept. Please, if anyone has felt this way, I need to hear that I’m not alone. And if you’ve come out the other side… how? My relationship is perfect and he is perfect, i just deal with this and i am far from happy.
- Date posted
- 10w
I’ve been struggling with ocd for a while now and did therapy for like 2 or 3 months but stopped because it wasn’t helping. My main focus right now is my ROCD, I have a boyfriend but we’re on a break right now because I was convinced that I didn’t have feeling for him anymore and I told him that being in a relationship was challenging for me because my mental state has been truly awful. During the summer I didn’t want to talk to anyone or do anything and that included talking to my boyfriend. But also I was doubting our relationship more then ever. I kept thinking that we’re so different, I was thinking about all of the things that I don’t like about him and all of the things we disagree on. And came to the conclusion that I didn’t think I wanted to be with him. And we went on break so I could have space to really figure out what I wanted. Now I’m back at the school we both go to and I want to reach out, but idk if I only want to reach out because I’m back at school where I’ve only been with him here, or because I actually want to get back together. Now my ocd is making me think that maybe I never really loved him. Or that maybe I convinced myself that I didn’t want to be with him because we were long distance and I’ve been googling and asking chatgpt. And basically I don’t know how to distinguish between my real feelings and what’s my OCD. I’m just so confused about what I should do. (Also I feel like my feelings change like the weather and I’m never consistent)
- Date posted
- 10w
So, I have not been diagnosed with OCD, but I feel that I have it. My therapist told me that she doesn’t believe I have it because I have no physical compulsions, but I feel like I do have mental compulsions. Let me explain: For the past 8 months I have been experiencing relationship anxiety (maybe ROCD). I have obsessed over “Do I actually love my partner?” “Am I attracted to him?” “Will I cheat?” “Is God telling me to leave?” I have been with my partner for over 3 years and he is absolutely amazing. He is sweet, caring, loving and our values aline. My dream, before all of this, was to marry him and I think I still have that dream deep down. My current obsessions are whether or not I “want” to be in this relationship. I don’t know why I am questioning being with someone so great and it is making me feel so guilty. No matter how many times I tell myself that I DO want to be with him, I can never believe myself. It is like I can no longer trust myself. My other obsession is “is it anxiety or intuition?” I had a thought the other day that said “break up with him” and I didn’t react to it. That sent me down a spiral and now I am scared that it was my intuition. I don’t want to claim that I have ROCD (even if I strongly think I do), but I would like some help with this.
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