Does God speak like this?

I have absolutely no desire to make any promises to God, but that’s how this started out. I made one promise to God and wasn’t going to fail it for anything. After it was over, I guess my ocd realized how much promises to God meant to me because at some point after I started having intrusive thoughts of saying the promise word to God and then feeling as though I would have to do whatever I felt I promised (the compulsion) or I feared something would be “taken away” from me or that I would be “punished” somehow if I didn’t. After several months I think of battling this, it then shifted demonically. Now I fear as though I’m making oaths or promises to the devil himself and though I know I can break those ties simply by calling on Jesus’ Name…. How many more times? I can’t keep taking this, it’s draining the life out of me and I live every day in survival mode. I got ocd in my last therapy session and thought I may have made a stupid oath to God that I wouldn’t talk much, so in fear of God’s punishment or allowance for punishment somehow, I spent 95% of the session dead quiet just listening. I need help or this is going to eat me alive, if you don’t mind please share your thoughts🙏🏼

So today while I was talking to myself, sometimes I do this, my mind said something like to ask for a sign from God and I didn’t mean to ask it or even wanting to ask it. I was talking to myself about something that happened a few months back for when I asked God, my grandmother who’s my guardian angel, and St Therese to help me get over the hunch of scrupulosity and OCD (I’m Catholic). They then gave me a sign in Church to let them know that they heard me and I felt peace, love and excitement then. I have been dealing with something lately that I asked them then to send me a sign if something didn’t happen or occurred, even though I couldn’t picture myself saying that. If anything I would have said the exact opposite to prove what happened or occurred, not to show me a sign if something beautiful didn’t happen. Yet the feeling felt so strong as if I did say that and it kept replaying in my mind over and over again. Going back to in the moment, It just went to my mind and blurted to my mouth about asking a sign from God even though I didn’t mean for it or intended it. I then got a thought thinking that I saw something later this morning thinking that God sent me a sign about something. Well, later this morning while looking at my daily Bible app, I saw something and my mind and feelings said that God sent me that sign. Now I’m flooded with anxiety because I was getting these thoughts before and now they like manifested into reality. It’s like as if God planted those thoughts in my head to tell me what’s coming and what will happen. I’m so angry, anxious and sad. I’m scared now that what I didn’t say is actually something that I said. It’s like God is constantly trying to tell me something and he’s keeping on telling me as if he’s playing a game with me and he won’t do it until I give up and give in. I don’t know what to do. I felt very depressed last night because last night because I couldn’t take this anymore as if God is telling me these things or he revealed me to something. Is this God or OCD that’s doing all this to me? I know it’s a lot but I just need feedback from you guys

I’d like to preface this by saying I know this is really niche but it’s been effecting me extremely bad since the moment i woke up today and for many days. Every time I start to like anything a lot no matter what, for example if I’m with a good friend and I’m in the middle of laughing, I will feel the need to specify that I love God over this moment and person, and if it doesn’t feel *just right* I will punish myself like by slapping my leg a certain amount of times etc. If it doesn’t feel *just right* it feels like I am putting them over God and then I feel extreme guilt. With every thing that I love I end up stopping it because I feel like that’s me saying I’m putting it over God. Even now, I was talking to this person I liked and had the thought come up again and it didn’t feel right so I blocked them because I want to prove to God that I love him more than anyone else. I convince myself that I’m putting things over God when I feel intense joy, and that God will punish me for that. Anyone have any tips or been through something similar? Thank you for reading it you did.