POCD and HOCD intrusive thoughts at the same time

I keep getting intrusive thoughts of children doing explicit things and then I when I try to calm myself down by cringing to the thought, I get intrusive thoughts of the word “boyfriend” and it makes me think I’m using the intrusive HOCD thoughts as reassurance when I dont ever want to ever be homosexual or bisexual at all… I calm down when I vomit and gag after trying to see my reaction to triggering HOCD thoughts…

Sexual Orientation OCD

Dothewalkofl...

Date posted: 2y

Do you ever get the feeling of disgust to things you don’t want to be disgusted by

Givenup

Date posted: 2y

@Dothewalkoflife. Yes

Anon.

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

Have you tried working ERP with a therapist? They are able to design specific exercises around your fears in order to help you embrace the uncertainty, and get a bit of relief from the OCD cycle. That was my experience. I highly suggest getting a therapist and trying ERP if you can!

Givenup

Date posted: 2y

@Anon. I finished with this woman my age and above online and I feel satisfied, but it didn't give me an O feeling when I finished... I feel happy with her, but my HOCD was giving me intrusive thoughts of muscular bodies and doing stuff with guys, and intrusive feelings in my body throughout. still we finished and I felt good with her, but it didn't give me an O feeling and my HOCD is saying that it's denial because of what happened last night.. I was actively trying to fantasize about this woman I liked while we were doing explicit things online together, so I said maybe maybe not to the thoughts and I kept on doing my private time with her... she and I were talking her doing oral to my private parts, and I was imagining her doing so, but my HOCD kept saying "your homosexual or bisexual for thinking about your own private parts" and I started trying to finish without caring about the intrusive thoughts, and that's when the feelings were growing stronger and stronger. right as I finished I had an intrusive thought of what seemed like a mixture between a woman's and man's private parts... and I finished strongly... my HOCD is saying I'm in denial because of this.

lildedsosa

Date posted: 2y

@Givenup I know how much it hurts but Accepting uncertainty is the only way out bro. wether you try to figure it out or not it won’t change reality so why drive yourself mad doing compulsions. When any thoughts/ sensations/ feelings come up let them be and say maybe they’re true maybe it’s just ocd. And it’s possible for anxiety and increased focus to make sensations more intense btw but don’t use this as reassurance because it may or may not be the case🗿

Anon.

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@Givenup @Givenup For me, it took a lot of consistency with my therapist doing ERP and doing ERP on my own to start to learn to embrace the uncertainty, and get some relief from the suffering caused by OCD. For me, after time, those intrusive thoughts questioning every thought, feeling, and emotion started to those their power over me. I even began to start to laugh at some of the stuff my mind thinks of. That took time though. I highly suggest continuing your work and being consistent outside of therapy as well! I hope that helps in some small way.

Jessie-

Date posted: 17w

Pocd

Anyone experience intrusive thoughts of their children during intimate moments? Have you done erp to this? I had one and continued slightly before running and needing to vomit now feel guilty anyone else experienced this?

TurbulentSaq112

Date posted: 17w

POCD without guilt or shame

I am 15 years old and my POCD feels like its not POCD, i feel like i like my intrusive thoughts, but i have more intrusive thoughts about having intrusive thoughts, and i feel like i cant enjoy the things i normally enjoy anymore, like calling with my girlfriend and joking with her because this is still in the back of my mind, its making me question morals and if i ever even viewed P as completely wrong and i hate this so much, i love my nieces and nephews and when they're over i know id never do anything with my intrusive thoughts but when they arent present i feel like i like my thoughts. Before this i was dealing with HOCD and ROCD and i wish i could go back to that

POCD

user74128588493

Date posted: 10w

hocd and scared it’s internalized homophobia

I’ve been struggling with HOCD for years, and it started with an intrusive thought about being gay when I was younger. It came up at age 12 and ever since, I’ve been trapped in a cycle of doubt and anxiety. I obsess over whether or not I’m secretly gay, even though I don’t feel that way at all. What makes it worse is the fear that I might have internalized homophobia, and that’s why I’m having these obsessive thoughts. I worry that my anxiety is a sign that I’m repressing something or rejecting part of myself. It feels like my mind keeps repeating the same question—am I gay?—and no matter how much reassurance I get, the fear doesn’t go away. I used to pray for my family members, fearing that if I didn’t, something bad would happen to them, and now it feels like I have to control these thoughts, or something will go wrong. For a while, it was quieter, but a week ago, the thoughts spiraled up again, and now the anxiety feels overwhelming again. It’s exhausting, and I don’t know how to break free from this constant loop of doubt. Has anyone dealt with the fear of internalized homophobia alongside HOCD? How do you manage the anxiety that comes with it?

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POCD and HOCD intrusive thoughts at the same time

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