- Date posted
- 5y ago
- Date posted
- 5y ago
(Although worth noting you can never be 100% sure of anything, so we’ll say I’m 99% sure I’m not gay lol)
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I want to get to that point so bad. i want to get to the point where i can live with potentially being gay. i know my parents and family will still love me, it just wouldn’t be the same. i’m not saying they’re homophobic, they just don’t support it and if i were to be gay it would crush them. i don’t want to be an outsider or hated by my family. i cant live with that. how can i accept the uncertainty of that? ugh
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Okay so yeah my parents are the same way. They’re not homophobic and they would still love me, but like you said, they’re not necessarily the type to go to a pride parade. I still managed to accept the possibility but it took a lot of work. Just please start your exposures ASAP. It’ll take some work but it works faster than you might expect! I believe in you :)
- Date posted
- 5y ago
This totally happened to me with the childhood stuff. I came to the conclusion that kids are innocent and honestly don’t know what sexuality is. They just have crushes on the people they have crushes on until like middle school and high school age when they start to learn about sex. You’re so not alone and it feels good to know I’m not the only one at least.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I honestly feel the same way, now that I think about it I remember I went on an online site game when I was really little like probably 8-9 and like dated girls for like a day. I thought it was normal but kinda weird. Now that I’ve thought about it it’s torturing me. I keep thinking I enjoyed it. Now I’m careful with my words when I’m w female friends because I don’t wanna say something that makes me feel further gay like words like “babe,” or anything complimentary yk. I also don’t have any attraction to guys and I’m scared it’ll remain that way. And every girl I see I automatically think I like her. It’s really taunting but we got this
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Ugh dude this happens to me all the time. Kinda thought I was the only one lol. I freak out about how I wanted to impress the popular girls so they’d be my friend, how I once pretended to be a boy on club penguin and dated a girl for a whole two minutes *gasp* when I was eight, how I’ve thought girls were cool and pretty before. But I sat with the discomfort, did my exposures, accepted the worst case scenario. If I’m gay so what? My family will still love me, my friends will still love me, and I’ll be okay. It was only after accepting that I could live with being gay, that I realized that I’m 100% not gay.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
what do you do for exposures?? i usually watch shows, videos, movies and stuff and also if something triggers me i just dive into whatever that is haha.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I do basically the same! I read gay books, watch coming out videos, talk to lesbians, and reading gay blogs. Just make sure you do it consistently :)
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I had a lot of “evidence” popping in my head for a long time. There was a point also where anywhere I looked at my OCD would go “that’s gay” “that shirt is gay” “everything is gay”. I’ve never thought of it as a bad thing and I accept myself no matter how I identify, which was definitely a hard place to get to, but it was worth the journey. What I’ve learned from this is that OCD wants to make everything a big deal.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w ago
My intrusive images were an absolute nightmare back in April. I honestly don’t even know how it got better, I had written a letter to God begging for help. Well recently idk if it’s because I’ve been stressed a lot again and ruminating on a lot of pocd related things from the past the make me worry, but the images have started again and even though they are repulsive and awful, I feel like I’m not reacting how I should. I think I just got to where I would just try to like blink it away and ignore it, but I feel so bad if I’m not feeling absolute shame and guilt. I feel like I feel too normal and sometimes I forget that if anyone knew besides people on here, I can’t imagine what people would think, but I also know it’s not who I am so I feel like I don’t worry as much as I should. Also, I can’t stop worrying about fanfiction I read when I was like 16 and 17. It really bothers me because I keep wondering did I imagine this one character my age? Why did I read this? Did I even know what aging up was then, and even if I did it’s wrong and gross anyway but if I didn’t age this character up then that’s awful. And i just can’t let go but I think it’s triggering me to have the images so idk what to do.
- Date posted
- 12w ago
I feel like a really terrible person right now, I keep replaying this, and no matter what I can’t remember what happened, it’s like my brain is purposely not letting me think about it. Without wasting any more time, I’ll get into it. Basically, I was at Walmart, and looking at cards with My Dad, I saw anime ones, took pictures of them for my sister, even ones that were anime kids, because I did my best to ignore it, so I looked at a Hunter x Hunter card, I stared at the black haired kid, being all like “ I’m glad I’m not having any thoughts about this, I’m glad I’m having normal thoughts and not thinking anything” I felt happy, then as soon as I looked at killua (white haired kid), everything collapsed. I don’t know what happened, my brain won’t let me remember. But I’ll give bits and pieces. I think that I had false attraction, and something in my head, said “oh, I wouldn’t mind being attracted.” “He is attractive, and I’m attracted to him.” “I remember a girl thinking he is attractive and he is” “ It’s not wrong to be attracted” “ I don’t care about his age” .. something along the lines of that, and now I’m panicking super hard, because I’m worried if I said those things, I feel like I ruined my life that I’m a pe//do and deserve nothing, idk what to do, I feel terrible… I remember when I was having the intrusive thoughts, I was panicking and was worrying, but it kept playing out, and I kept hearing things talk, it was drawn out too long, that now I feel convinced that I was saying those things, I tested it too, and I can confirm that I didn’t say that, but why am I still not convinced? I know I wouldn’t say those things, I was hoping the complete opposite would happen. My brain kept making me feel like it wasn’t wrong and it was okay. Maybe that’s why I’m so convinced I did that. I’m just spiraling super bad right now, I don’t know what to do or what to think, I don’t know if I said that or not… even if I did test it, I genuinely just feel like I said it, and I wanted it, because I still feel uncertain, I still feel like I said it, part of me just wants to be like oh I did and so I can move on, not because I agree with it, I just don’t know what else to do… I’m really scared.
- Date posted
- 8w ago
Sorry long post. Anyone feel like now they’re just in extreme denial. Like when I was little I noticed guys more than girls in movies and was more drawn to them. I remember changing my mindset to switch that. 98%of my life has been straight until recently. I felt drawn to some guys but never thought of it sexually. Always had girl crushes dreams and porn. Now I watch porn and I feel like straight takes longer and then I go and watch gay porn and feel nothing until I tell myself it’s two attractive dudes and love is love and imagine physical sensations and then it hits like suddenly. Like I have to convince myself it’s alright. Then when I try again I can do all that but feel nothing and then straight porn works. Idk if it’s just getting a fix or the first time works with anything or what but it’s confusing. On top of that I’ve felt girl relationships including my wife maybe miss something and a guy maybe matches that feeling that but then I feel like I’d be missing something without a girl or my wife. Idk I’ve had some rough times in life with male figures in my life but idk. I feel like I have to convince myself more and more that I’m straight even more than the first time I dealt with this. Can someone relate? Please
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond