Please. I’m on the verge of throwing up.

So. In my talking stage with my current girlfriend of 12 months. I think that in the start of my talking stage with her, that I was also talking to other people. I’m talking stage ( I wasn’t dating anyone) but I think I was talking with people aswell. And eventually I cut every girl off apart from my current girlfriend. And then a week or so later we started dating. Anyway. A week before we started dating a girl I used to talk to teacher out to my friend and was like “hey are you a friend of *my name*” and he sent screenshots. And I just told him to block her, because I didn’t want to talk anyone or anything. And he blocked her. But im worried one day if me and him get intro an argument he will try to ruin my current relationship with that. Even though those screenshots were from before me and my gf were dating. But we were talking at that time Do I need to tell my girlfriend this? Does this matter? Because I don’t know if I was “loyal” in the talking stage, and I don’t know if I’m overthinking because we weren’t even dating. But at the start of the talking stage I was talking to other people I think. Do I need to tell her this? Does this mean im unloyal? Im currently freaking out. I really need your opinions, do I let this go or do I do something about it

taan

Date posted: 2y

hi! let’s a take a big step back and take a breath. there are alot of things going through your head and it definitely sounds like OCD is picking at your relationship. you have been with your girlfriend for one year now. nothing from the past matters. what matters right now is your time being spent together. and if that ever comes up, you’ll deal with it then. you did not know your girlfriend as well as you do now. we all meet different people and you did not do anything wrong. this has happened to me before, but we have to sit with the distress and discomfort. i promise you that this will pass if you do not question yourself anymore. try to focus on the nice moments with your girlfriend.

SL1K

Date posted: 2y

@nat19 I’m also worried about somethings that’s related to this. Last night I was really high and made a bad joke and worded it so wrong, i saïd about that friend and his gf something bad. I was with friends at the dinner table and their parents and I said about that couple “omg there whores they wear playboy, because they wear playboy” i was being sarcastic and I was obviously joking because I also wear playboy brand clothes. But at the time I didn’t realise how bad the joke was and I worded it so badly. And now I’m worried that if my friends tell him or his gf I joked and said that about them. Then I’m worried that that friend will get the screenshots of that girl saying “are you friends with *my name*” and I’m worried he’ll use it agaisnt me to destroy my relationship. I féel so bad. I was so high and so dumb and didn’t know what I was saying. Do you think this is my ocd just overthinking shit and catastrophising this? Or do I do something about it. I feel so ashamed. Idk if this is my ocd making me feel like this or not. Pls respond thank you.

SL1K

Date posted: 2y

@Anonymous Do I do anything??

taan

Date posted: 2y

this definitely sounds like OCD. it is picking at your values (your friendship(s) and relationship). i know how horrible it feels to keep ruminating but the key here is to just sit with the discomfort. something i like to say to my thoughts when i get caught in the loop is “fuck it” and try to go back to what i was doing. i also like to remind myself that if this wasn’t OCD, it wouldn’t be bothering me this much. i advise you to do some deep breathing and listen to a nice song. it’ll help you stay in the present moment. the things that you are mentioning are all just thoughts. thoughts have no meaning unless you put attention to them.

SL1K

Date posted: 2y

@nat19 Thank you. I think I worded it even worse then how I typed it. I didn’t know what I was on about and I feel so ashamed that I called them that as a joke. If they found out it would start drama and it could ruin my relationship. Or friendship. Im so dumb. I saïd it around like 4-5 friends and they know the person. Do I just sit with it? And ignore this and act normal?

taan

Date posted: 2y

@help. i understand where you are coming from, i really really do. you are not alone. everything you are telling me sounds like OCD and seems like you want reassurance. i’m sorry my friend, i know how hard it is to be stuck in your head. but you will get through this. please sit with this. sit with the discomfort and remind yourself that OCD will latch on to whatever you value. sending hugs!

SL1K

Date posted: 2y

@nat19 Thank you. It makes me feel like I don’t deserve my girlfriend at all. Do I tell her all this. ?

SL1K

Date posted: 2y

@nat19 I am 15 btw and i really don’t want school drama and stuff :(

taan

Date posted: 2y

@help. telling her will be a compulsion. that is not helpful at all. learn to sit with this. you are also super young! you have so much ahead of you. i am rooting for you.

SL1K

Date posted: 2y

@nat19 Thank you.

Chickenwang123

Date posted: 25w

Relationship

I met my boyfriend unexpectedly. Obviously you don’t become boyfriend and girlfriend the day you meet . It takes time to get to know eachother and then you become that . But before I met him I had a little fling with someone & I continued to still talk to him and hangout with him until me and my boyfriend now got serious . Is that wrong ? Am I a cheater ? I cut off the other guy like a week into me and the new boyfriend getting to know eachother . But even when I cut the guy off my boyfriend was still out here flirting and hanging with other girls until we became serious . Which I don’t care about anymore . But does that make me a cheater ?

Marrkk22

Date posted: 11w

Real event cheating

So I’m 22 and have had ocd my entire life. I’m about to hit 1 year in my relationship. I’m extremely happy and haven’t really had any rocd problems. Which is great. So here’s the problem. About 4-5 months into my new relationship I was bored one night and couldn’t sleep. I must’ve doom scrolled TikTok and Reddit for hours that night. Until finally I randomly thought about going on an anonymous chat site. I use to do this all the time back during covid when I was stuck in the house So for what ever reason I made a fake girl name and instantly connected to some random dude. I thought it was funny and decided to troll alittle cause why not I guess I just wanted to pass the time. He asked me where i worked and I said a bar (obv I don’t ) and he said “wow u must get hit on a lot u must be hot” and said yeah i do and then I felt really weird about it. So I closed the site down. Fast forward to now I felt like I cheated on my gf by flirting with another guy. Even tho I don’t like guys. It was months ago so I can’t rmeebr exactly how the text went but it was along those words and the convo had to been less then 3 minutes. Now since then all I can think is maybe I wanted the texts to go further. Or what if I said something sexual? What if I liked it sexually? On top of that, it was just a really weird one off thing I did. I mean I have no idea why I pretended to be a hot girl working at a bar lol. I guess I was just trolling or curious idk. Either way it would be really hard to explain to my gf and I don’t really want to tell her. Butttt , since I feel like I cheated I feel awful like I’m horrible person. These last 4 days I keep reading reddit post about ppl cheating on chat rooms and I keep googling to see if I should tell my gf or not. I understand sitting with uncertainty but I need to know desperately if I did something wrong bc my gf deserves to know. But like I said if I told her what happened it such a weird situation that she may think something serious happened. Also I dealt with a porn addiction at the time and I’ve gotten a lot better. So far I’ve been 3 days clean of watching porn and don’t even have the need too. How ever I think the real reason why I feel like I cheated was my intentions altho I went on just joking around I feel like I was on there for something sexual. Which I’m glad I never shared any personal things , pictures or anything graphic and the convo was less then 3 minutes long based off a fake character

BB1224

Date posted: 6w

Am I a cheater? PLEASE HELP IM WORRIED

A girl that I know that lives in my neighborhood just snapped me and it was “watch Marlee show off her garden or something” and I was worried enough to just open the snap bc I’m scared of interacting with other girls bf my ocd. The snap was just of her friend playing a garden game and then it switched to a coloring one but I genuinely just skipped over the whole video, it was 10 snaps long. Also the girl that sent me that, her name on snap has had a “😘” and even after changing it today it still shows the ____😘 on her public profile but I never changed her name on my snap and I feel bad bc I have a gf. I hate when people add the stupid hearts and stuff for their names on snap. I’m not going to respond to this snap. Also my brain is telling me I’m a cheater bc I never took out the emoji from her name beforehand. I genuinely never thought about the name until today, it’s been like that forever and I don’t think I ever paid much attention to it until now when my OCD is attaching to it. It’s also attaching to the part where a couple weeks ago her and her friends were giving out cookies to people and they texted me if I wanted one, they were down to their last cookie, so I was like sure and they were in their car just out of my driveway in the street and I got a cookie from them. Even then I felt terrible for getting a cookie from them bc of just interacting with other girls. But now I’m like why did I never realize the name had the 😘 emoji with it and I’m spiraling. It’s also attaching to the part where a couple weeks ago her and her friends were giving out cookies to people and they texted me if I wanted one, they were down to their last cookie, so I was like sure and they were in their car just out of my driveway in the street and I got a cookie from them. Even then I felt terrible for getting a cookie from them bc of just interacting with other girls. But now I’m like why did I never realize the name had the 😘 emoji with it and I’m spiraling. Also she texted me June 20 asking about if I had a bbl which was weird and so I responded to her then bc I was like wtf. But now I’m like why did I never realize her name had that emoji in it and I’m stressing. I really don’t enjoy talking to her and I’m not attracted to her at all and barely actually talk with her, and if I do I’m not flirting with her bc I love my girlfriend and don’t care about other girls I do remember that it wasn’t that girl that texted me about the cookie, it was one of my friends gfs. I was also worried about that bc I didn’t want to text my friends gf bc I thought it would be weird but it was only about the cookie

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