confessions leading to more confessions?!

@OCDoesntcontrolme Hey.. you seem to have great advice.. can you help me with something?

@OCDoesntcontrolme A guy i have been in a situationship for the past 10 months asked for time and soace and i cant help but think if he is Bored with me lying to me sometimes i get thoughts like he is guy who is fickle minded will leave me and just say i told you so and then i think should i listen to this and let go or listen to the hope of him coming back but do they ever? We were never in a relationship the situation was messy now what? If we dont see each other again or come back we will be done for good i dont want to put these negative energy out in the universe but i cant help these thoughts what is the guarantee that all of this wont happen with so much misunderstanding and miscommunication will we ever work out its become so platonic will we feel stuff cause to begin with we were never emotionally vulnerable with each other now will we If no one texts no one calls in this duration of space then what going back to being strangers but seeing each other in class and having it hard is that one reason i don’t want it to end cause i cant see him in class like that and he can or might be okay with it cause he is over this? Or is he? He isn’t sure about me he know that and has told me but doesn’t want this to end and I don’t too i am holding on taking this risk without any guarantee am i doing the right thing? Will it be in my favour and if not then what ? And why am i not okay with it not being in my favour why am i so scared. What if Doesn’t feel anything for me is over me doesnt feel the same for me now or the next few months? He was okay with me choosing myself and not this relationship he didn’t want me to go but he knew that would be convenient for him so he asked me to leave i cant help but wonder if there was some ulterior motive to getting me to leave so that i become the bad person and he has lost feelings but doesn’t wanna be the bad person here and looks good but is actually over me and just not telling me the truth about it. If I wouldn’t have asked we would have just drifted apart?? Would he have ever told me? Or was he gonna be okay with us just falling apart? Were the last 10 months that big of a joke to him and he felt absolutely nothing in a mere 20 days he went from wanting me to being so distant..and i decided to stay cause i like him and now if i think if he was okay with letting me go then what am i holding on for? What is the guarantee that after a while he will not have the same attitude and be like oh i was good without you its okay if you leave and that just isn’t fair then and he has told me he is not sure about anything in the future i decided to take the chance but i just cant sit with the risks that come with it cause i am scared it will all be doomed in the end.

@OCDoesntcontrolme Its a little too long i dont expect you to reply but i just need some advice

@Brave through Don't worry about the length it's totally fine, situations are complex and can take a lot of explaining. I totally get where you're coming from, it sounds like you have a big fear of letting go, losing someone, having someone lose feelings for you, and change, all things my OCD can make me go crazy about too so I can totally relate. My last relationship, I was so worried about all the what ifs and if my gf was going to lose feelings for me, and anything else my ocd was trying to latch onto to hurt me with, that I lost sight of the relationship itself and wasn't as in it as I should have been and I let the thoughts cloud my judgement. For struggling with the uncertainty, that is definitely something I struggle with as well. Wondering how that person feels and if they are lying are just trying to be nice, it can be torture. As counterproductive as it sounds, what worked best for me is accepting the uncertainty. Like me, you want the guarantee he's not going to leave or lose feelings, but as much as it sucks, we can never guarantee someone else's actions and feelings, and it just causes hurt when you try to. It's like trying to overpower something you have no control over, which is more emotionally taxing and draining than anything. Try to accept that you can't guarantee things, but you can do what you can to enjoy your time right now and take steps to strengthen yourself and get into a good headspace where you can accept those uncertainties and not let them weigh on you so heavily. I used to stress daily my gf would find someone better while we weren't talking and she was at work, or she would have enough time away from to think she was fine without me, but that's not the case. We can't control those things, and spending energy worrying about them will just lead to more pain and struggle. For advice on your situationship, I'd say just be open with the person you're talking too, about how feel and what you want from your relationship together, weather it be continuing what you have or evolving to more. Just understand that whatever happens, try not to let your OCD get a grasp and cause you to spiral, as that's happened to me. When the thing I was scared of happening happened, I took a breath knowing that I was facing what OCD made me so afraid and sick of, and I was okay

@OCDoesntcontrolme Also, we are not in no contact but i dont know when to text him? What to text him? To text him at all or not? To wait for him to text or not? I just dont know what to do about this situation..

@OCDoesntcontrolme So i was in a situationship with this guy for 10 months and we had our hard times but got through but he suddenly just seemed distant and aloof I confronted and he said he is going through something in his personal life and needs some space and time and doesn’t know if after this time he would want to Come back to me or not but i decided to take the risk and give it a chance and not call it off cause i have strong feelings for this guy but my ocd struck and i have been struggling since then Also, what if this is not ocd someone on here told me that i am just calling this ocd and going to hurt myself in this case and just not realising this entire thing ? I questioned myself so much when i read that. He isn’t texting me not calling me is that less he misses me? He is going through something but do i not cross his mind even once a day? Does he not care enough to check up on me even once? Should i take these as signs and just let go but i do want to hold on i do wanna try but how do i do it if he seems so distant should i do it at all and if i should how much should i? And does that make me desperate? Does that make me clingy will he scare away or do i keep my ego and head held high and not text or call him at all? I do wanna check up on him but so many quotes say if he wanted to he would so that just means he doesn’t and I shouldn’t force it too what am i getting at the end of it nothing ig. I am so sorry but i feel very tormented and dk what to do..

@OCDoesntcontrolme I dont know ig i would say if there’s a chance to save it take that little chance and i am just scared to do that but he is

@OCDoesntcontrolme Some one i want to take a chance for i feel like my heart is telling me something and my brain is saying something else. I feel bad and i feel numb and i feel just all over the place