Always worried my boyfriend doesn’t really like me

Recently, recovered from soocd and now I have a new them that I’m obsessing over. relationship ocd makes me feel like my boyfriend is going to cheat on me or that he is annoyed by me. I literally just left his place after going out for Valentine’s Day last night. I don’t know why but my brain kept telling me “he’s annoyed by you” “you’re so whiny” “look at his face he’s disgusted by you”, even though we had such a nice time and laughed and talked and cuddle a lot. He is the best boyfriend I’ve ever had. He is so understanding and loving and doesn’t criticize me. This is so irrational but I left his place this morning because I had work earlier than him. I didn’t kiss him on his cheek before I left bc I was running late. So, I texted him telling him I love him and I was running late and he hasn’t responded yet and my brain is telling me he wants to break up now. My brain is like “he should be awake by now” “he doesn’t care”. I absolutely understand this is so stupid but i don’t know how to stop it. How can I move to being confident and comfortable in my relationship without needing reassurance he still cares?

Relationship OCD

Brave through

Date posted: 2y

Hey, i am going through the same i had soocd and now i have relationship ocd with a situationship i am in.. could you help me a little..I actually have been giving this guy some space cause we have been going through a rough patch in our whatever relationship we had but i am hoping to reconnect while giving myself the much self love i felt like i had until i realised I didn’t…I am confused do i also want him enough they say manifesting works and affirming works i want to do that but every time i do it the thought of this person not being for me pops up i am holding on to hope and love and every time i imagine myself with him doubts pops us questions pop up do i just want him for the physical aspect of the relationship and nothing else and if i do? Or would i hurt so much if we wouldn’t be in the position we are today? All i require is just physical from him? Are my intentions my love my feelings not pure? And if they are not why would god provide me with him and with a second chance at this relationship they say wait for the one not for someone to be the one what do i do about that? Why am i waiting? Why do i want this? We had attraction in the beginning and then attachment at different times and now just distance i have a feeling things will work out but every time i have that thought i also feel if he also thinks i am worthy of just physically being there for him and now i feel like that too is he nothing more than that for me but i know i wouldn’t cry over it for the last 1 month I wouldn’t feel so bad and lost about it but then I can’t help but think do i only what him to satisfy my ego? For validation and reassurance i want a healthy relationship with him and i want him to want just that with me i want to be individually happy and secure so that i know i dont need him to make me happy but be happy in the moment with him but these thoughts do pop up cause the relationship we had was hookup and physical based for a while? Is it still that ? Do i just want that? I still have thoughts of what if we are over what if he is and not telling me the truth what if the distance between us can never bridge these are fears i have that i wish to let go and just live in the present .. what is this? Ocd?

Depressed

Date posted: 2y

@Brave through Yes this sounds like ocd… you’re thinking this guy doesn’t like you for this and that reason. I just got broken up with last night, for this exact reason and I too questioned why god would give this opportunity to me just to take it away? Just remember to give it time and yes, be patient with gods plan.

Brave through

Date posted: 2y

@Depressed What should i believe cause i am so confused On one hand- there are quotes like things that say move on dont hold on let go or things that tell me to not give up things that tell me if i want it badly it will happen? Things that tell me he is not worth it or things that tell me this relationship is worth it? What if in the future it comes biting back to me to have not let go or wanted to give that one chance to it? I am so torn i dont know what to do thats why its hard for me to make the decision hence i have decided to just stay still and let go and let god its so hard but thats the only thing i can do

21mulberry.st

Date posted: 2y

I experience the exact same thing thing all the time. If I forget to tell him I love him or something, it feels like a 10lb ton on my chest that slowwwly gets heavier and heavier until I run back to him. I hug and kiss him and say I love him and continue on with what I was doing lol. What helps me is proving to myself that he still loves me and that our relationship is gonna last. “Look at what he does for you” “look at how he looks and smiles at you”.. stuff like that. If I get a contradictory what-if thought, I literally tell it to shut up. I either yell it in my head or I say it out loud. Either way I’m louder than it and it makes it harder to hear. You’re not alone with this and I hope I helped a little bit. You got this 💕💕

Missnonameus...

Date posted: 2y

@21mulberry.st This was actually very helpful! Thank you! Yes, my brain is always telling me things but his actions also always tell me the opposite of what I’m worried about. I need to learn to tell myself to shut-up bc I would hate to sabotage this love we have over my obsessions, anxieties and insecurities. Thank you!

cmax20

Date posted: 22w

ROCD

for a few days now I’ve been super anxious about my relationship. I’ve been anxious about it before but lately it’s been worse than normal. I’m in a very healthy and loving relationship, I love my boyfriend so much and he treats me so so well. The only thing is that I’ve been having scary thoughts that what if I’m lying to him and don’t actually love him? What if I don’t find him attractive? And like what if the only way to stop being anxious is to break up with him? I don’t want to leave him and I am so scared. I feel like I’m lying to him by not telling him what’s going on because he might think I’m actually going to leave him, which I’m really not going to. I have had anxiety since before we started dating and incestual and sexual ocd, then I got into a point where I started having religious ocd, and now I have ROCD on top of that I think. I’ve never been diagnosed but I’m going to therapy and figuring things out but I’m so scared. Idk what to do and I feel like if I talk to anyone they’re going to say I have to leave him.

naiad

Date posted: 21w

Relationship OCD

Hi all, I’m F(20) and I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend M(20) for 10 months now. Lately it feels like I’ve been getting triggered at the tiniest thing. My relationship OCD is centered around the idea that my bf will leave me, that suddenly his feelings will change and he’ll never look back. Inherently I know this is irrational and I know he loves me very much (as he tells me repeatedly when I compulsively ask for reassurance). I just can’t make my brain stop. I just feel so unsecured. He will mention that one of his friends drove an hour to see him for only 30 minutes. I will then spiral that I am not possibly doing enough and it’s because he’s secretly done with me and he’s longing for a reason to leave and go be with this friend instead. See? Truly irrational. But I cannot stop it. Any tips at all? Maybe I’m at least not alone in this. I often feel literally insane:(

Dev12_

Date posted: 16w

ROCD struggles

My mind won’t let me trust that my boyfriend loves me and it’s the most frustrating thing ever. Honestly idk if this is rocd but recently we’ve been really great and our relationship has been strengthening so much. He gives me no reason to fear him leaving or anything or even cheating. He’s very loyal and has shown that he loves me. But my brain keeps pushing me away and at the smallest things he does I think maybe he doesn’t and I’m scared to fully put my all into him bc I think I’ll get hurt, every time i notice a small thing I don’t like abt him, it worries me and makes the thoughts worse. Basically to sum it up I won’t let myself just trust that he loves me and that we’ll be okay, I keep focusing on the future and what ifs like if we break up or something happens and it’s like I’m trying to protect myself from the future. It’s so stressful and annoying, I can’t predict the future so I just wish my mind would be calm and let me live my mind. No matter what I do I can’t shake off the fear.

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Always worried my boyfriend doesn’t really like me

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