missbluesky

Date posted: 2y

What I’m Struggling With

For me, it’s not “just a thought”; it’s memories, feelings, sexual responses, evidence, etc. How am I supposed to dismiss the obsession as “just a thought” when it’s so much more? I don’t really get intrusive thoughts of calling girls hot or sexy or things like that, I occasionally get sexual images but not often. It seems like my “intrusive thoughts” are just someone trying to figure themself out in response to data collected over nine years of this obsession. It’s not “just a thought”.

Sexual Orientation OCD

Anonymous

Date posted: 2y

OCD is not just thoughts. It’s urges, feelings, sensations, and more. Hence why people say thoughts and feelings are not facts. Because it goes beyond intrusive thoughts

KateWiley

Date posted: 2y

I get the feelings, the thoughts, the false memories and everything. And that's all considered the proof my head needs. And yet it's all in my head.

68273

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

For a long time I thought it was just thoughts, but it can also be groinal responses, dreams, urges, feelings, the list is endless. I also have memories, like at some point I did this… it’s not something I would do in real life because I find it disturbing, but 13 years ago I did x, y, x and so I get so anxious and the cycle continues

KateWiley

Date posted: 2y

It all freaks me out cause it feels like I'm actually remembering this. But I never stressed about it before.

68273

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

I’ve had this obsession for 13years,right now I’m really struggling and I type this, m crying in my car because no reassurance is working at this point. But when I’m in a good place, I know it’s just ocd.

missbluesky

Date posted: 2y

@68273 13 years? 😭 how old were you when it began?

68273

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

23, I was engaged and going through a lot of change. I didn’t know it was ocd, I had all the pureo themes, POCD, Harm, Hocd , etc etc. I cancelled my wedding. I’m married now, but I’m suffering again

68273

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

I recently told my husband about it and he was very understanding after he spoke to my nocd therapist. I was getting groinal responses which I’ve never had before and I told my therapist about it. There had been days where I am certain It’s ocd and there are days like today where I’m 99 it’s not ocd and start panicking

68273

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

Have you been diagnosed?

missbluesky

Date posted: 2y

@68273 See, I was 12 when it started. That’s way too young. I was pretty boy crazy prior to the onset (pretty much from kindergarten) but 12 is so young. Yes, been diagnosed several times but don’t believe I actually have it.

68273

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

I started therapy w nocd but my ocd is severe so I’m waiting for iop , I’ll start mid April and I’m terrified!!! Like I feel like I’m going into a cage full of lions terrified but I’m also suffering immensely

missbluesky

Date posted: 2y

@68273 I’m sorry you’re suffering so much :( I’m also not doing well, I’m in my last semester of college and flunking my classes.

68273

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@missbluesky Have you done erp?

68273

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@missbluesky Same, I relapsed three years ago and I’m failing terribly as a mother and wife.

68273

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@68273 I started erp about 1.5 years ago and it was way too much for me!!!! It was so scary and I was told I probably need iop, I stopped completely and just started back up again with nocd who also recommended iop. I’m on the waitlist

missbluesky

Date posted: 2y

@68273 Do you think 12 is too young?

68273

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@68273 Oh wow. I would not be able to.

68273

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@68273 Ok, now I feel like getting diagnosed again lol

68273

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@68273 Have you done erp w a therapist?

68273

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@68273 Have you had other themes?

missbluesky

Date posted: 2y

@68273 You’re kind of triggering me, I’m sorry. I’ve had other very minor themes but this is the big one that keeps coming back. I’ve tried ERP but I couldnt stop doing compulsions.

missbluesky

Date posted: 2y

@68273 It seems like you think I’m gay

68273

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@missbluesky I’m sorry, I don’t mean to trigger you. We’ll you are not alone. Just know that your case is not unique. That’s what my therapist told me. She told me wow , classical ocd

68273

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@68273 This has been the biggest one for me too. Like why does it keep coming back 😭

68273

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@missbluesky Oh no, I actually think the opposite

68273

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@missbluesky Ok I’ll stop messaging because I don’t want to trigger you. I’ve had the same experience where people triggered me and I know how that feels sorry

68273

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

Ok I have probably been diagnosed like 20 times lol. And every time I’m like this, I want to go to a different therapist for a new diagnoses to get some relief but I know it’s a compulsion. Same here, I never questioned until this. For me, I just feel sometimes like I’m lying 🤥

missbluesky

Date posted: 2y

@68273 I want to get diagnosed again 😭 but I’m way too afraid. It seems like my history is just too lesbian

68273

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

It’s since I live in a very liberal state, I get exposed to it everywhere I go. Sometimes I’m super triggered and sometimes I don’t care. Today, it just feels so real

missbluesky

Date posted: 2y

@68273 My roommate is a lesbian, and her girlfriend is always around. I love them and I love hanging out with them, but then I worry that I’m not triggered by them.

AnonymousAisha

Date posted: 25w

Ocd thoughts as a newbie

Hi I am Aisha and I am not sure if I have ocd or not but I struggle with thoughts which I don't even know if they r intrusive or if I am thinking about them and they are usually about my family or friends. This time it was about my mom more specifically a sexual thought about my mom and my mind was thinking that this is what I want and when I was analyzing the thought I wasn't sure about my intention which made me feel really bad

VoiceInYourHead

Date posted: 24w

Intrusive Thoughts During “Me-Time”

So I was enjoying some “me time” and had intrusive thoughts, but it felt like just for a second I liked it. Like I’m holding myself back from “enjoying” the thought. And the thoughts are related to things I was into when I was younger, but sometimes I feel like I might still like it even though 9/10 I wouldn’t give it a second thought. Is this common? Or is this just denial? Thanks

Elliesmith

Date posted: 23w

Question

So with my theme of ocd, ( hocd ) I get persistent intrusive images, and thoughts. It’s not like one or two a day. Like if I’m out for the whole day they’re constant. I feel I can’t even look at a girl now without her intrusive thoughts about her or about me fancying her and even sexual intrusive thoughts.. It’s awful. It’s everywhere I look. Is this common with ocd with any themes? Like is it constant for you guys too?

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