I don’t know what to do man I really feel like a lesbian, ugh I just want to cry and dig myself in a hole and die in it. it won’t stoppp:/ I thought I was doing well and now I’m just thinking about guys being gross and that I like girls and I’m in a lot of pain:/ I feel the phrase pop up whenever I know I like boys like “you don’t choose who you love” and that just triggers my hocd even further I can’t:/

Intrusive thoughts are suposed to be the oposite of you!! Your not lesbian and you know it!! It just all anxiety and ocd!! These are all fake thoughts and feelings! You know deep down who you are! The fact that the thoughts are so distressing and unwanted are just prove that you are straight! Go see a doctor!! Medication helps a lot!!

thank you a lot, I’ll keep all of this in mind. just seems impossible to look at boys or girls the same. I can’t see any therapists or doctors because I’d have to tell my family first but I can’t because they would just translate it as I’m gay and they’re super homophobic and won’t understand that it’s just ocd.

i totally agree. the phrase “you don’t choose who you love” gives me SO much anxiety because that means i have no control over it. but i guess that’s what i need to accept; that i don’t have control over it. the worst part is that i feel like my brain is FORCING me to be lesbian, even though i really do not want to for so many reasons. but again, i need to accept that uncertainty. MAYBE i’m gay and MAYBE you’re gay. we’ll never know 100% and that’s ok, we don’t have to. we just have to take it day by day!!

also, i’m in the same boat as you. completely. i haven’t told my parents either and i’m so afraid to because i don’t want them to think that it means i’m gay. it kills me not to tell them, but i really think they’d take it the wrong way. i can just imagine how the conversation would go and i just have a feeling that they won’t understand that this doesn’t mean i’m gay,,, it’s just my brain. i completely understand what you’re going through.