Stolen Joy

My joy has been sapped from me ever since this began for me. You’re not alone. Little by little every day, that joy and your authentic self will stay present in the moment longer and longer. You got this!

Happens to me too. I have moments of normal and happiness but because my OCD is so bad, it questions those moments and those feelings.

I am sorry that you are struggling. Ocd has a tendency to to attack us at vulnerable moments, including when things are going well. I have this happen to me often when leaving for a vacation - or a long weekend for work - or a holiday. What if this or that - maybe something bad will happen - and I have learned with ERP to say maybe or maybe not - but I am going to continue to live in the present moment and enjoy it. It doesn’t magically take away the anxiety but I don’t allow ocd to tell me what I can and cannot do. I hope this helps.

A lot of people with OCD feel this same way, I know I have. Whether you’re currently experiencing anxiety/discomfort/intrusive thoughts or you’re currently feeling well but are worried OCD will come back around the corner, it’s all just another way for OCD to keep it’s claws dug in you. When you’re focusing/analyzing how you feel or don’t feel, you could be engaging in a compulsion. The best practice via ERP is that when those what if thoughts strike, lean into them and respond with a maybe, maybe not. It won’t magically make the feeling of discomfort go away, but with time you’ll stop paying as much attention to those thoughts and they might not bother you as much. I’ve found that when I focus on feeling unwell/spend time checking how I feel, it’s sometimes a self-fulfilling cycle. You are strong, you can handle this, and you’re not alone!