icloudyl

Date posted: 2y

im so tired...

ive been doing erp for a week after i realized this was another ocd thought and my brain still sees the thought as something scary and im just tired of it, i live on my own and i dont have alot of people to talk about ocd with, i couldnt eat well for last few days or keep my sleep schedule... i feel like a mess and im too tired to start building my self back up... anyway to make the recovery process faster? ive done this 2 times now and everytime it takes me like 1 month to get fully out of it

"Pure" OCD

Anonymous

Date posted: 2y

You doing erp by yourself too? I am and it is difficult. The process isn’t easy at all.

icloudyl

Date posted: 2y

i am, i live in iran which is an awful country in the sense of ocd knowledge/therapy so i had to

Anonymous

Date posted: 2y

@icloudyl I feel ya, have you watched idk how to spell it but her name is allie on youtube. She really explains the hell out of everything.

Anonymous

Date posted: 2y

@icloudyl If you don’t mind me asking what are your themes

icloudyl

Date posted: 2y

@Anonymous - ali greymond i know, ive been watching her for like 2 years at this point ive learned so much from her also my themes are about uh my future, i turned 18 and im scared of the thought of "its all downhill from here" "im gonna get stuck on a 9-5 and never have fun again" "what if i never find a job"

Anonymous

Date posted: 2y

@icloudyl She has also helped me through the erp process. And it is helps any I am about to turn 19 and have absolutely no clue what I’m doing in life. I don’t do anything but sit at my house all day due to other anxiety’s. How did you beat it twice before?

icloudyl

Date posted: 2y

@Anonymous - well for my first theme i had hocd and i just... accepted it as a possibility all tho it was one of the hardest times of my life my second theme was about the idea of death and stuff and i beat that with acceptance of it. like i just accepted it and didnt try to solve it or do stuff to make me live longer or that typa stuff now im trying to accept the fact that i might become the thing im fearing but its okay, im trying to just accept that im a fuckup of a human being and all those awesome things

Nica

Date posted: 2y

It’s okay to take a day or two off if it’s too much, just don’t seek reassurance or ruminate or anything like that. Give yourself some time to decompress and refresh.

icloudyl

Date posted: 2y

oh im not tired of the erp im mostly tired of my life? (i know it sounds bad but im being real) like i just dont wanna deal with this stuff, im mostly a happy guy living my life and nowadays ive lost control.. im not really happy.. and when i get glimpses of happiness i just cry

Anonymous

Date posted: 2y

@icloudyl Brother, you got this. A lot of us on this app are going through stuff just like you. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel, you just got to look hard enough. And remember breathing is always better then not breathing

icloudyl

Date posted: 2y

@Anonymous - yea yea, i know that, i would always live and let everything play out even if im tired but just overall ive been feeling hella tired recently i also havent lost hope at all, i know i will get better and im working towards it

Anonymous

Date posted: 2y

Your not a fuck up, I currently have hocd but it’s getting better. As a straight dude it’s probably one of the hardest things i’ve ever delt with. I have been trying self erp which seems to be helping

Aquario

Date posted: 25w

need advice

my therapist isnt avaible for a this week and this weeks been hell, cant focus, i keep getting stuck in my thoughts, if i predict something will happen and it doesnt, my brain gets stuck on what if it did and then my obession keeps going, i keep trying to not pay attention or let go of my thoughts but feels like im in a trance when the thoughts come up and feels hard to snap out of it. also since my ocd is to the point of disability (despite social security keeps denying me) i cant go out much and my fears have been getting more and more dehabilitating and i dont know how to properly fix it, i dont know the right way to respond to these thoughts, i dont know how to let go, its just been super rough and demoralizing...

Hi_1

Date posted: 16w

Advice?

I’ve been stuck in this cycle for the last month or two and am not sure how to get out of it. Basically, I will work on ignoring the thoughts and not responding or engaging plus limiting/completely eliminating compulsions. After a week or two of constant work, the amount of intrusive thoughts in a day goes down. The anxiety each thought causes also goes down with some, but not all, thoughts passing without notice like they would for a normal person. The thoughts that do stick cause anxiety and make me want to ruminate or do other compulsions but I make sure to limit them. After a bit, I’m in a pretty good head space. This is usually when it goes down hill. I’ll start to question if I even have ocd because some of the thoughts (once again not all) pass without notice. The difficulty resisting compulsions goes down and so does the anxiety, only increasing the questioning. I spend a while questioning if I’ve ever had ocd in the first place and then something sets me off or the questioning itself becomes a trigger and I get stuck back into the same ocd cycle with constant rumination, anxiety, and other compulsions. This lasts for a week or two before I know I need to stop and try and work hard to get back to ignoring the thoughts. And the cycle just restarts over and over again. Does anyone have any tips to stop this from happening? It’s really harming my recovery as every few weeks I dive back into the same negative place I was.

Anonymous

Date posted: 12w

religious OCD

Please help. I have felt so off/wrong all day. I constantly worry that the “bad guy” is going to get me. I have awful thoughts and I constantly want God to know that I don’t mean these thoughts. I am at a point in my therapy where I need to choose to use my ERP but it feels too scary. I then do compulsions, which makes the OCD worse, which makes me want to use ERP less. And the cycle goes on. I am currently sitting in my car crying because I feel so lost and exhausted. I’m not supposed to figure out my thoughts, but today I just went into a spiral of sadness and depression, thinking that I will always feel like this. When my thoughts got really bad at the end of the day, I tried to use ERP even though I was shaking and not believing my responses and I ended up feeling like I missed something and that I gave into the “bad guy.” I have no one to talk when I’m not doing therapy twice a week. I am alone and have no one to talk to when I am like this… please help

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