Haven’t been on here in awhile but I’m at quite a low point. Doing compulsions, checking, etc. Haven’t done that in a long, long time. I thought I was managing pretty well but I guess I wasn’t :(
Hi there! I go through a few days of feeling okay and then having some thoughts again. Just try to remember your non-engagement responses. Sometimes what helps me is going for a walk to change the scenery and to try to be more mindful of the present moment. Be gentle and kind with yourself. A lapse is not a relapse and don’t beat yourself up if you fell off the wagon for a moment. Take it one step at a time and you will get back to where you need to be. You got this ❤️
Thank you! I’m feeling very sad and hopeless at the moment but I know things will get better. I’m going back to therapy and am looking forward to getting my life back.
@Bootyyy$haker9000🕺 Happy to hear! You are taking a very courageous step and should feel proud of yourself for that. I wish you luck on your journey.
It can be super hard to have a lapse or back-door anxiety after a while of doing well. I’ve been dealing with that recently and it definitely is a bummer. Something to remember is that this is a life-long journey, there are going to be ups and downs. But it won’t last forever and you have the tools you need to continue on. Know you aren’t alone and I believe in you!
Hi! My therapist used to tell me that OCD recovery is not linear, meaning you are going to hit peaks of destroying OCD and valleys of OCD being tough. But by doing the work the projection will be positive even if bad days occur. Also with OCD recovery, you never go back to being at square one! Try not to beat yourself up over doing some compulsions, it happens. Try to learn from it and try and get back on track. You can do this!
I feel you... I'm having a bit of a lapse these past few days after a big trigger caught me out of nowhere. Trying to be as self-compassionate as I can. We're not alone 💖
I am sorry that you are having a difficult time. Like everyone has said, this is the ups and downs of ocd. There will be bad days - but the further we get into recovery - the better we are able to deal with it. You are managing well - but sometimes we all have to go back to the well of ERP. It has happened to me many times - but each time it is a bit shorter time and linger in between spikes.
Today I was officially diagnosed, and a lot of my thoughts all day have been “man, what if I actually don’t have it and I exaggerated my symptoms or something.” I had this thought especially because I hadn’t had a really bad episode in a while. But then sure enough, I had a little episode tonight. I feel like I might’ve brought it upon myself, at least in small part. Having difficulty separating OCD paranoia from real life problems to be considered with at the moment 👎🏻 Gonna sleep on it! 🙏🏻❤️
Looked up OCD recovery / success stories to give myself some hope. Found a link to a page on the NOCD website that shared a few people's recovery journeys. Clicked on the first one that had SOOCD tagged as a theme. She had the fear she was gay. Turns out she IS gay. It really triggered me and now I'm in a bit of a spiral 😭 ended up googling and looking for reassurance. I feel guilty and sad for engaging in compulsions. Like I just took a huge step back, or something.
Feel guilty for not giving into compulsions like rumination and confessing? I feel guilt for having an intrusive thought, trying to shrug it off or just giving it a few seconds of thought and moving along. This sounds like improvement but I still struggle with the anxiety and the guilt. The shame. I’ll be okay and then I’ll remember I have OCD and my stomach will drop and I just want to curl up and cry.
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