so a lot of the time i worry i don’t love him. but recently, i’ve been obsessing (losing sleep too) over if he doesn’t love me. i’m constantly worrying he’s not doing enough and he’s not right for me and it makes me so anxious i can barely breathe. is this normal???
I am sorry you are having a difficult time. OCD will strike us where we are vulnerable. It seems to me from your post you are aware these are intrusive thoughts and it sounds like you are ruminating, which is a compulsion which will only make ocd stronger. Instead of compulsing, when you get the intrusive thought try to sit in the middle and not try to figure it out. A non-engagement response something like maybe / maybe not, but I am not going ti try and figure it out. And then go about what you were doing before - I.e. sleeping. It is hard I know but sitting in the middle teaches our brain that this is not the five alarm fire the brain thinks it is. When we compulse the answer will never be enough for ocd - there will always be one more what if, one more compulsion ti perform. This is hard work so be compassionate with yourself. Do the best you can and over time you will find it does get easier to do. I hope this helps.
@Jeffrey thank you so much!
Relationship OCD often switches like you described, one day ruminating about not being “enough” for your partner and the next day ruminating about them not being “enough”. Relationships take trust and sitting with the unknown and hoping for the best and taking steps toward the best together!Relationships are difficult for people without OCD, but those with it find the uncertainty unbearable. Be patient with yourself! Try to sit through the discomfort without all the checking and ruminating OCD is yelling that you have to do, you don’t have to do it and you can get through it :)
@hellopeople thank you!!!
This happens to me all the time. You are not alone.
I’ve had doubts my whole relationship with my boyfriend. Things like “you don’t find him attractive. You don’t think he’s funny. You’re lesbian because you don’t love him. You don’t love him at all. You think he’s annoying. You think his face looks weird. You want to be with other guys. He doesn’t make you happy.” But I always cry and get upset at the thought of losing him. Is that ocd, or something wrong with the relationship. It’s so hard to tell if this is Rocd or if this is one of those, “you never loved nor were interested in him in the first place.” Type things. I want to be interested and in love with him so bad, but I feel like all these thoughts get in the way. :( I don’t get that crazy “you love him so much,” feeing everyone talks about. Like yeah I know I feel for him and love him for who he is, but I don’t feel crazy deep in love :(
My relationship OCD has been bad lately I actually feel like it’s starting to cause problems in my relationship. I constantly think something bad is going to happen with the relationship or him. Like when he’s driving I’m terrified we’re going to get in a crash and him die and me have to be without him. I worry all the time he’s going to leave me. It’s an obsession. I find myself trying to be PERFECT and that’s just not possible. I feel like he’s constantly mad at me when he’s not. We have a good relationship. We have our moments but everyone does. I don’t have issues with him cheating but I always am TERRIFIED about it. I’m scared of him dying, or leaving me. Is this something common with OCD or is this something else?
These have been the recent intrusive thoughts I’ve had. They scare me so much because it’s like why am I thinking about this so much if I was truly so so in love with him I wouldn’t doubt it at all right? My OCD was relatively calm/non existent for a period of time but then I entered my relationship with my beloved and I feel like I’m worrying way too much every week about random things.
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