Social anxiety

My social anxiety worsened after experiencing OCD + a pandemic in the middle of high school. Im sometimes socially clueless. I try hard to fit in or flirt with guys or just have fun and it usually backfires. A lot of people look at me like Im strange & Im just trying to be nice. I probably come off fake buuut really Im just trying to socialize after not having friends for a long time and battling my OCD. Also idk how to chill so I come off very nervous. I just dont know what to do. It’s like no matter what people find something wrong with me. My own family even makes fun of me and it makes me want to disappear. My older siblings tell me Im a good girl & “I don’t be doin all that.” like it’s a bad thing. Whenever they say things like that I wanna cuss them tf out because I used to be a lot different before my OCD hit me. I was a lot more outgoing, chill, and fun. But now Im like completely different and Im tired of people thinking it’s who I am as a person. I swear nobody in my life actually takes the time to understand wtf I go through and Im so tired of it. Im tired of trying to fit in socially, too. It’s like no matter what I do, I try to fit in or I don’t and I just be myself (Im very naturally quiet and to myself) its never enough and people stay finding reasons to make me feel like Im weird. It doesn’t matter if Im trying really hard or minding my business. Im starting to think I have autism or something (not tryna sound any type of way Im genuinely concerned because my whole life I’ve had an extremely difficult time reading social cues and understanding people). Or maybe it’s a me problem. Im very logical and intelligent, it’s just that as soon as I start talking to someone it’s like nothing makes sense anymore because Im afraid of messing up somehow. Like what if I accidentally do something inappropriate? Or what if Im bein rude or loud? What if Im comin across some kind of way that I don’t mean to be? I hate ts. And whenever I AM chill, people still have a problem with me over something. I wish people would just let me be

Young adults with OCD

moonjoy

Date posted: 2y

wow , i really relate to this. im sorry you have to go thru that especially since your siblings are making it worse , it seems. this isnt any advice but just know youre not alone. i literally feel the same way. i was and still am a quiet person & i never really socialized even as a child & it seems when i do talk ( even if its as simple as saying hello to my manager at work ) i get weird looks or people look at me like idk something is wrong w me . i literally considered that maybe i am autistic as well because of the social cues ( like you said ). i cant even fit in even if i WANTED to make friends and socialize , i literally almost can never relate to people at all & i always felt this way. i understand the feeling of thinking in some way ur going to mess up or sound rude or too loud. i get it.

🫧🩷🪷

Date posted: 2y

@hiddensquid omg thanks for sharing. i read somewhere that people with autism are more likely to have ocd or that it’s not uncommon to be autistic and have ocd at the same time. i’m watching videos about girls with autism and their experience and i’m relating soooo much. i think i’m gonna try to see what’s up. i’ve always felt like an alien in social settings. my mom has always told me i’ve been verryyyy shy since i was a toddler and that it’s just who i am, but i’m starting to think i’m too shy to just be shy, ya know?

moonjoy

Date posted: 2y

@feelslikeionlygobackwards yeah. same for me, i literally would not speak as a child to the point where people thought i was mute lmao. i think if we both do not have autism, then tbh it was probably something in childhood that made us that way. idk about you, but i wasn’t really surrounded by people my age as a kid. i have an older brother , but when i was like 10 he was already like 20 lol, so we couldn’t really relate. i think especially us having ocd ( or really other mental illnesses ) makes it hard for us to relate tbh because many people just dont get it.

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