Social anxiety

My social anxiety worsened after experiencing OCD + a pandemic in the middle of high school. Im sometimes socially clueless. I try hard to fit in or flirt with guys or just have fun and it usually backfires. A lot of people look at me like Im strange & Im just trying to be nice. I probably come off fake buuut really Im just trying to socialize after not having friends for a long time and battling my OCD. Also idk how to chill so I come off very nervous. I just dont know what to do. It’s like no matter what people find something wrong with me. My own family even makes fun of me and it makes me want to disappear. My older siblings tell me Im a good girl & “I don’t be doin all that.” like it’s a bad thing. Whenever they say things like that I wanna cuss them tf out because I used to be a lot different before my OCD hit me. I was a lot more outgoing, chill, and fun. But now Im like completely different and Im tired of people thinking it’s who I am as a person. I swear nobody in my life actually takes the time to understand wtf I go through and Im so tired of it. Im tired of trying to fit in socially, too. It’s like no matter what I do, I try to fit in or I don’t and I just be myself (Im very naturally quiet and to myself) its never enough and people stay finding reasons to make me feel like Im weird. It doesn’t matter if Im trying really hard or minding my business. Im starting to think I have autism or something (not tryna sound any type of way Im genuinely concerned because my whole life I’ve had an extremely difficult time reading social cues and understanding people). Or maybe it’s a me problem. Im very logical and intelligent, it’s just that as soon as I start talking to someone it’s like nothing makes sense anymore because Im afraid of messing up somehow. Like what if I accidentally do something inappropriate? Or what if Im bein rude or loud? What if Im comin across some kind of way that I don’t mean to be? I hate ts. And whenever I AM chill, people still have a problem with me over something. I wish people would just let me be

Young adults with OCD

moonjoy

Date posted: 2y

wow , i really relate to this. im sorry you have to go thru that especially since your siblings are making it worse , it seems. this isnt any advice but just know youre not alone. i literally feel the same way. i was and still am a quiet person & i never really socialized even as a child & it seems when i do talk ( even if its as simple as saying hello to my manager at work ) i get weird looks or people look at me like idk something is wrong w me . i literally considered that maybe i am autistic as well because of the social cues ( like you said ). i cant even fit in even if i WANTED to make friends and socialize , i literally almost can never relate to people at all & i always felt this way. i understand the feeling of thinking in some way ur going to mess up or sound rude or too loud. i get it.

🫧🩷🪷

Date posted: 2y

@hiddensquid omg thanks for sharing. i read somewhere that people with autism are more likely to have ocd or that it’s not uncommon to be autistic and have ocd at the same time. i’m watching videos about girls with autism and their experience and i’m relating soooo much. i think i’m gonna try to see what’s up. i’ve always felt like an alien in social settings. my mom has always told me i’ve been verryyyy shy since i was a toddler and that it’s just who i am, but i’m starting to think i’m too shy to just be shy, ya know?

moonjoy

Date posted: 2y

@feelslikeionlygobackwards yeah. same for me, i literally would not speak as a child to the point where people thought i was mute lmao. i think if we both do not have autism, then tbh it was probably something in childhood that made us that way. idk about you, but i wasn’t really surrounded by people my age as a kid. i have an older brother , but when i was like 10 he was already like 20 lol, so we couldn’t really relate. i think especially us having ocd ( or really other mental illnesses ) makes it hard for us to relate tbh because many people just dont get it.

speedymind23

Date posted: 23w

Ocd and anxiety

I’ve been dealing with ocd and anxiety since I was a kid, but these recent years have been the worst it’s ever been. It’s hard to communicate with people about your mental health so I’ve been self isolating by accident lol, my social anxiety is terrible and it’s extremely stressful for me to hangout with people and my friends don’t seem to really understand even when I try my best to explain. They notice I don’t hangout as much but to them it’s “me being weird “ or “ a fake friend” I don’t know what to do and it’s frustrating

Gmoki

Date posted: 20w

I need advice :( vent post/does anyone relate?

First off - I’m sorry, I post here a lot. My thoughts are going to be scattered because I have the adhd/ocd/executive dysfunction wombo combo. Im so embarrassed I am THIS neurodivergent. I swear my brain couldn’t pick one struggle and settle with it. I’m not making these diagnoses quirky personality traits by any means, in fact, in this post im venting about how exhausting and embarassed I am living with a brain like this on the daily. I need to hear someone’s advice please. I love hearing everyone’s advice on posts because it’s so useful, and brings me back down to reality. Everyone on here gives advice so tastefully in a way where it doesn’t feed into the self reassurance compulsion, but it’s also been thorough and constructive enough where it’s reminded me to ground myself in a healthy way. I love seeing others helping others, it soothes me. This community has been so kind, and I’m so happy I found it. I wish I could ask more, but I have so many questions I think it’d drive everyone here crazy lol. I am doing erp therapy now, and it’s been teaching me so many amazing techniques. I’ve been making progress. However, I sometimes have my moments of vunerablity. I’ve been experiencing this especially now more than ever because I am going through a breakup. He did it through text after nearly 9 months together. I’d do anything for him and love him through anything, and he broke my heart when I least expected it. I’d make his bed for him multiple times, but I haven’t done that for myself in years. I’d sit with him for hours to watch and do anything he likes, but he’d never do the same and I’d never do the same for me. I’m also at fault because I was too scared to speak up so I let a lot of disrespect slide. Why did my ocd do that? Why does ocd make me people please even when I don’t want to? Why does OCD make me care so much about things that will never effect me (like wanting validation from a random person on the street and hoping they’ll think I’m pretty enough to look at), but then when it comes to my future or positive wellbeing (like focusing on college/doing well in classes/personal hygiene/health), forces me to not care/neglect myself and those needs? I don’t understand it. Ocd makes me think everything’s a setup or a trap. I can never believe that I am fine right where I want to be. Why am I so hard on myself? Why do I even think this much? I care and feel so deeply but it becomes unhealthy so fast because ocd makes me fixate and I stay there for a while. For some reason I let this breakup define my self worth. I let it topple into the ocd fear that I will never make it in life - that I won’t be successful, I’ll never get the career I want, the love I want, or the life I want. My OCD’s version of “logic” isn’t even logical. Yes, I understand how the breakup means feelings of low self worth which will then topple into feeling bad about other things. But why has my brain been wired to think this way? Why does it seem so easy for everyone else to function normally with life but not me? Honestly this is the first time in my life where I’m dedicated to focusing on myself and learning more about myself instead of others in my life and it’s a very odd and bizarre feeling. I’m excited of course, but I’m also scared. My ocd makes me ruminate like “what if I will never make the most of this life I’ve been given”, “what if I truly have no worth and the most I will ever be in other people’s lives is a background character”, “why do I care if I’m a background character or not? I should feel guilty and ignorant for assuming everyone will automatically like me”, “are people lying to me when they call me pretty, smart or kind?”, “I need to look and sound perfect in both pictures, videos and in real life. I will never be satisfied for accepting who I am now”, and a bunch of other annoying questions. But sometimes it’s like I just can’t take the reality for what it is but at the same time, but I also acknowledge that I know this is ocd talking. This is so, so difficult. Do I make any sense with what I’m saying? Can anyone help?

Imsexybutimi...

Date posted: 14w

Do I have ocd

Hey, so idk if I have ocd, I would like to think I’m a very self aware person but I don’t wanna self diagnose at all, lmk what you guys think. So pretty much my whole life since I was young I remember having irrational fears im sure it was all trauma induced but when I was a kid I thought my father was poisoning me until I asked him, he started crying and was so shocked that I could ever even think that, my parents broke up when I was legit fresh out the womb, mom worked two jobs and disciplined me, dad let me do whatever on the weekends and got me snacks so I was obsessed with him so obsessed that it was mandatory for me to kiss his picture 20x everyday before school. Growing up I always felt followed by cameras or like someone out there was recording me waiting for me to do something embarrassing to expose me in front of the whole world and my life was over 🤣🤣 I thought my abusive ex bf was stalking me through my I phone camera after we broke up and it would truly stress me out, it made me believe that it was the reason he never reached out again bc I probably looked ugly in the camera he was stalking me through. If I fall out with a friend Ill over analyze everything to see if I did anything wrong and god forbid while I’m self reflecting I realize I did something wrong I feel like an evil person, verbatim the people I fall out with is bc they’ve done me wrong in some way and it has to b something hurtful or repeated mistakes for me to really stay away for good, so I’ll beat myself up for making mistakes with another person who’s made the same amount of mistakes if not more and in most cases I always fall short, and this when I question if it’s ocd or I’m just to self aware and see the ugly in me bc I’m not perfect and it’s just makes me feel so unsettled but again that’s a normal feeling and the next step is to forgive yourself and do better moving forward, not obsess over it like your trying to convince yourself you’re a good person. I’m also hot tempered and will say hurtful things when I’m mad I’m definitely a crash out in the way, you push my bottoms way too many times and I will shred you, and I’ll say things ik will hurt you and that’s just so low, then the anger goes away and I have to face the guilt, which makes my “ocd” 100x worse, it almost feels like I have to do everything right to not trigger it yet again I don’t have the self control to do it all right, I actually have a lot bpd tendencies again not diagnosing but I’m just trying to understand my brain. I worry about dying, getting a terminal illness. uti turning into kidney infection then into cancer kind of thing, knowing that life in general can b tragic is so scary to me, like what will be my story? What will be my life experience?. I believe that people see right through me and discuss it amongst each other, I always tell myself I am not that important but I can’t seem to shake it off sometimes. When I would break up with my ex I would have pre written paragraphs ready to b send if he ever decided to reach back and I would do this to make sure I didn’t forget a single thought, that every point i felt I need to prove was there, and that bothers me bc do I want win an argument or fix the issue. All of these feelings make me feel so pathetic and embarrassed people move on with their lives and I’m still stuck on something that happened 3 yrs ago. Then I’ll get manic get a tattoo, change my hair, go out clubbing do what I can to b the sexy young girl that I am and it helps in the moment but it worsens my mental after the euphoria is gone. I’m currently staying home, not going out, have only 1 friend so I feel like ocd progressively got worse now, I don’t remember it getting this bad in a while. lmk what you guys think don’t judge or think I’m embarrassing I’m actually so cool and if have to convince you I’m cool I will LMFAOO no but fr help

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

Social anxiety

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community