Compulsion

Feel guilty for not giving into compulsions like rumination and confessing? I feel guilt for having an intrusive thought, trying to shrug it off or just giving it a few seconds of thought and moving along. This sounds like improvement but I still struggle with the anxiety and the guilt. The shame. I’ll be okay and then I’ll remember I have OCD and my stomach will drop and I just want to curl up and cry.

I just realized that I have this compulsion where i search ocd forums up and down, looking for someone describing the exact scenario/event that im obsessing over right now. Otherwise it’s like i cant convince myself that it really is ocd. Its so stupid because even if I find what I am looking for, I know it is only giving me temporary relief. I was just about to post a description of the theme/scenario here, but I am proud that I stopped myself ⭐️

This list by ai gives a good summary of my symptoms. Does it resemble OCD or is it something else? 1. Compulsions (OCD-specific behaviors): • Feeling the need to flex or contract muscles an even number of times, equally on both sides of your body. • Needing to reverse actions (for example, if you roll your eyes or trace a line with your finger, you feel compelled to do it again in the exact opposite way). 2. Intrusive Thoughts (OCD-specific ruminations): • Daydreaming about people you care about getting hurt (e.g., school shooting, injury, or kidnapping). • Sometimes feeling like you might want something bad to happen to someone you find attractive—possibly because of a desire to help or save them, though it’s confusing. • These thoughts can sometimes provide a twisted sense of relief while remaining distressing and confusing. 3. Sexual Orientation OCD: • Experiencing confusion or doubt about your sexual orientation. 4. Contamination Thoughts: • Feeling like things are contaminated, especially after touching something gross. 5. Sensory Compulsions: • Feeling the need to smell your hand after touching areas like your ear or hair. 6. ADHD-like Symptoms / Additional Observations: • Fidgeting or moving your legs when standing or sitting.