Finding it hard to cope

Hi friend 💕 I’m on my third round of these thoughts in the past few years, it will get better, I promise. (And this is the first year I’ve sought out actual ERP/ACT treatment) Accepting the unknown is incredibly hard, but it is doable. I find that gratitude and grounding techniques put me back in the present moment (also sour candy & gum are supposed to help your brain bring you back into focus). I also find that making fun of the thoughts helps as a non engagement response, like “Haha yeah no sh*t brain, what IS the meaning of life?” or “Maybe there is meaning, maybe there’s not” (this one is incredibly uncomfortable at first) My new therapist also uses the phrases of storytelling for our thoughts. Our thoughts are simply stories, this is just an existential story. As for the sertraline, this is not uncommon! Chat with your healthcare provider, this may not be the one for you. You got this, hang in there!

Sorry you’re going through this. I can relate to the existential thoughts. Often times I catch myself going down the OCD rabbit hole asking questions about the meaning of life, death, thoughts, space, time, etc. In my journey I’ve learned that I cannot control what comes to my mind but I can control whether to react. I choose not to engage with or judge my OCD thoughts and accept the uncertainty. Inherently these questions have no answers. Hope this helps and know that you are not alone.

Thank you for your responses 🤍 did you feel as if you viewed everything differently? Like you lost who you are? When I’m talking or just what I thought being myself it’s like I’m doubting that’s actually me anymore as I feel different 😞 so hard to explain.

Yes, absolutely. OCD made me, and still sometimes tries to make me, doubt everything I know about myself, even down to the silly things! Example: I’ve always loved reading, it’s been my favorite hobby for as long as I can remember, and a few days ago, my OCD decided to start saying do you even like reading?? is this all a lie ?? Like no joke.. it can go after anything. But I’ve been in recovery before, and I’ve found a truer sense of self and dove deeper into my values than I ever have, and I plan on doing just that again, even better this time around, cos OCD is a big fat liar.

Some things are really difficult to laugh off, but sometimes just making fun of the thoughts instead of trying to figure them out goes a really long way.