is it ocd making up lies or am i a bad gf???

I always have a new intrusive thought that i did something that i shouldn’t have and that i am a bad girlfriend who makes immoral decisions. for example, recently a guy i used to like last year had snapchatted me, nothing flirty, he just asked how i was doing and if i was in school. we used to be close ish friends so it makes sense that he just wanted to catch up. but immediately after texting him i felt so guilty because in my brain texting someone i used to like is wrong and cheating. i would never be with this guy now because i am currently dating the love of my life and would never cheat. i keep having these thoughts that “i might have been excited to open his snap”, “i was excited that he texted me because i still like him”. i still think he is attractive, but like i said i would never want to be with him. it is driving me insane because i can’t remember exactly how I felt when texting him because it was a month ago. How do i know if my ocd is making up lies and telling me I thought things i never thought. Is it wrong IF I WAS excited when someone i used to like texted me? i would never want to be with him anymore. any advice ?

Relationship OCD

ItsGoingToBeOk

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

Hello! I wouldn’t think twice about this. Let me explain. All of us love to feel needed and wanted. I text people from my past all the time and each time I feel the same love and warmth I had when I was with them. It’s a sort of nostalgic heartwarming sensation. Texting someone that you had a past with is just that, a past. Look at it like you had loved someone and now you’re curious how they are in life. At the same time, you’re getting a little attention and damn, they’re even cute. The point is to not do anything about it other than experience the feelings. Don’t actually go have intimacy, don’t actually go and do things you would regret. Just enjoy the moment of being hit on! Nothing wrong here. Guilt is a learned emotion, and guilt is only viable when you’ve actually done something wrong. Hope this helps!

sydney2147

Date posted: 2y

@ItsGoingToBeOk thank you…i forgot to add that when i first started feeling guilty, i confessed to my boyfriend. i told him that i might have gotten excited when he texted me. he then said that everything was fine as long as i still don’t like him. after hearing that i started to spiral thinking “what if i still liked him when i was texting him back”, “what if that’s why i got excited”?… i don’t still like him at the moment, but my brain is trying to figure out how i felt when i was texting him…idk if that makes sense, but any advice on that?

ItsGoingToBeOk

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@sydney2147 Yes, it does make sense! I tend to have intrusive, highly vivid sexual thoughts when I text past relationships. I view it as a fun little fantasy, but it’s just that, a fantasy. Our brains don’t know how to turn off the intrusions, so I like to remind myself that not all intrusions are bad. It may feel like blasphemy and cheating, but remember you really aren’t cheating. A thought in your head is just a thought. There’s nothing to really confess because you aren’t doing anything wrong! Confess if you find yourself actually cheating because that affects another person. Having thoughts though? It’s just a bunch of thoughts. It’s kind of fun to wonder how you feel about someone. Sometimes I like to think that feeling “dirty” is a secret of mine. I’m not though. My actions have always been faithful. If you’re tired of figuring out feelings, time to distract yourself!

sydney2147

Date posted: 2y

@ItsGoingToBeOk that does make so much sense thank you! i just can’t get out of the rut of spiraling and trying to remember if i still liked him when i was texting him. for context, i never even thought about him before he texted me that day. i’m just always scared of doing something that’s gonna ruin my relationship.

ItsGoingToBeOk

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@sydney2147 Remember, intrusive thoughts attack things we value. Sounds like you really value your relationship, so take this moment to relish in the fact that you have someone you love! There are people in this world that aren’t even able to experience valuing another person. You’re one of the good ones!

sydney2147

Date posted: 2y

@ItsGoingToBeOk i appreciate you so much! thank you for your help

🧡🍁🎃

Date posted: 23w

False memory ocd

Hey everyone, I’m still struggling a bit with false memory ocd. Mine revolves around my relationship. There are some things I have remembered that occurred early on in the relationship, whether someone texted me on Snapchat or TikTok etc. and it was old friends of mine from a friend group. In the friend group it was me and about couple guys and girls. I remember there being an instance where one of the guys had messaged me on Snapchat after I had posted something about a tv show or I had posted a picture of me and my mom and they reached out to me saying something and I honestly can’t remember at all what they had said to me but I’m pretty sure i remember I responded with “Lol” or “Thank you” , and I think the reason I’m really struggling right now is that I can’t remember hardly anything about the text at all. And of course, my ocd is trying to convince me that it was either a flirty chat, or something else. I also want to mention that I unadded a lot of people off my snap, mostly guys on TikTok etc after dating my boyfriend because I felt like that was respectful. And even after doing that, my OCD was trying to convince me that I un added them because I was hiding something or I was on adding them because I didn’t want my boyfriend to see that they were on my Snapchat, which was not the case at all. I think I’m just really struggling because I think about past events that have happened in my mind is trying to convince me that something else happened, rather than allowing me to remember what actually went on. I just wanted to come on here and ask if anyone else struggles with something like this because it’s been really bothering me the past couple days and I know I would never do anything to hurt my boyfriend because I love him so much it’s just I freak out constantly, and it bothers me a lot.

anonymous737...

Date posted: 21w

i need some advice

So i had really bad pure ocd but recently it’s been sooo much better but i’m in a relationship and me and my bf dated before about 2 years ago then we broke up and now we are back together but i’m having an issue where i will try to go back years and find something i did wrong and i really do not want to find anything to feel wrong about or guilty specifically something i may have done wrong to my boyfriend but the thing is i’m a good girlfriend and i’m very loyal so i don’t want to ruin something for me because of my past if that makes sense like i can’t remember doing anything wrong but my brain keeps going are u sure let’s look at all your interactions with people and it’s so annoying i just wanna live my life in the present does anyone have any tips

JazzyRoses

Date posted: 19w

Being Cheated On OCD

Hi everyone! I have been having a rough time. So my boyfriend talks to his ex still as friends and I’ve been struggling with it lately and I can’t tell if it’s OCD or not but it does feel so distressing. She wasn’t texting him for about 2-3 months as she got into a relationship with this guy and they broke up. She had messaged him saying that she has no one else to talk to and needed to vent to someone. At first I felt okay, but my intrusive thoughts took over and it seemed like she was trying to get with him after the fact. It’s probably just my intrusive thoughts talking but he looks on Discord (the app where the message) constantly now and my intrusive thoughts convince me that he’s still in love with her. Then yesterday I saw one of his BeReals (a little photo app that shows a photo of the day) and I saw that he was watching one of her streams as she is a streamer. I struggled to talk about it because it made my worst thought feel like it came true where he is still in love with her. When we talked he gets a lil mad that I don’t tell him right away like straight up what I’m feeling but it’s hard to process because my thoughts flood in of all the worst things and I don’t want to come off as toxic at all and I know relationships are built on trust and I want to trust because this is literally the only thing that makes me nervous about him. It also doesn’t help that I’ve been cheated on before so I’m trying to protect myself but I’m lost. I get so depressed and so anxious because I feel like I have to grieve the relationship and it’s just so dramatic. I’ve never loved anyone like this before and I don’t wanna lose him by bringing this stuff up constantly when something occurs with his ex. I don’t know why I get triggered so easily and I just wanna heal from it and be the good girlfriend I’m supposed to be 😭

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is it ocd making up lies or am i a bad gf???

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