I'm really struggling with Existential OCD. I love my life and my family and my boyfriend and the thought of them not being real has brought me to tears and has made me feel like life may not be worth living if they aren't real. Please please please help me.
This is my main struggle as well. I had gotten over this 12 years ago and it came back 4 months ago. It’s all a process.
How did you initially get over it? What ERP did you use?
@TS I’m the beginning I remember using distraction as my main escape. I would go to the gym even though I felt terrible, I would hang out with family even if I felt terrible, I would do everything even if I felt terrible. Over time it went away. That initial process took like 2 years.
@iZamora Were you able to still date, have a sex like etc?
@TS I was yes. It was very difficult but I was able to live my life even with how terrified I was.
@iZamora Did you deal with any suicidal thoughts? How did you cope?
@TS When I was younger I did have them and I remember I would call the hotline and talk to them . I would cry and cry and cry. I was truly alone. That was some of the toughest times of my life but I made it through. I copes with video games most of the time which I now realize wasn’t the best idea since I can’t run to them anymore as they don’t offer that same escape.
@iZamora How did you find a reason to keep going during your existential ocd? Like realizing things could be not real
Hello! I’ve certainly been in your shoes. “Is my girlfriend real? Is my family real? My pets? … am I real?” and panic sets in. Let’s circle back to why we think about this. You clearly value life. You’re so happy, that any thought that this happiness could be fake is the intrusive thought. Instructive thoughts are to cause paranoia and fear. Lean into this a bit. Ok, so let’s first jump to the conclusion of “they aren’t real and neither are we”. Irrationally we think, ok, this is terrifying. Rationally (at the same time) we continue to think well, shoot, it sure does feel real. Life is sort of trippy, right? We are born, we experience a strong sense of being and emotions, and then we pass away. The goal of life is to feel good. To make choices. To experience free will. This fear and uncertainly is coming from inside you, remember that! This means you can also have a “positive intrusive thought”. Let’s flip the script. “Wow my boyfriend, my family, and I am so real.” Imagine you lived in a world that wasn’t real. That statement above would be distressing. See what I mean? That’s proof that it’s all real. Hope this helps!
How did you cope with the dread and suicidal thoughts? I know deep down I don't want to do it, but the idea of the people I love not being real is so painful.
Is it possible to go back to how you were before this theme?
What I know about OCD is that it comes and goes throughout one's life typically, but it can be so manageable and you can live a life in recovery with no symptoms, it is VERY possible. With effective treatment you can live a life that you want, a life that moves towards your values. It will not always feel like it does at this moment. Keep going.
I’m really struggling with this theme because it can make me feel “fake” and it creates doubts that the world around me isn’t real or it’s a simulation? I’m really trying to expose myself but even the possibility makes me incredibly afraid. It even plays into my suicidal ocd as well and makes me afraid that my life would be miserable if this was true. I know how ocd works and I know not to fully believe that. But at the same time, I am trapped in doubt and fear. How could I possibly accept this? Will I ever see the world or life the same again? (Don’t answer that I realize that’s reassurance). Idk this theme is so ass.
m at the point where every night I contemplate going to the ER for my terrible thoughts. For the past 2.5 years I’ve been struggling with extremely bad existential ocd/nihilism. One day I woke up and had a nihilistic thought and since that day I’ve had severe nihilistic and suicidal thoughts. I truly don’t wanna do anything because in the end we die. In the end life is meaningless because we die. I feel almost delusional bc these thoughts feel true. Anything I do my brain goes “why are you doing this? It’s not gonna matter” I’m getting married in June and I don’t feel anything. I don’t wanna do anything. I don’t care to. I have to quit my RN job at the hospital because of this terrible theme. I don’t see a point in anything. Life doesn’t make sense. Death terrifies me. And life feels meaningless. My life is ruined. I hate ocd I hate it.
I’m an ICU nurse and I’m so close to quitting my job. My existential OCD is so bad. Like I said I’m an ICU nurse and take care of my Alzheimer’s grandma full time, she lives with me. I really can’t afford to go to treatment but I think I might have to go inpatient . My existential ocd is so so bad that it is telling me life is meaningless. It’s not even a question. I’ve lost all insight as I truly believe this to be true. I’m too logical for religion. I’m a double science major. Please. If anyone could help me. I’m struggling so bad. Is this existential ocd even tho I’m convinced life is meaningless? Why are we here? And for what? Please help me. My grandma needs md and I feel like I might need to leave
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