Im posting again cause i feel depressed. I feel angry cause i dont know if these thoughts are ocd thoughts or impulse thoughts. My frustration makes thoughts about harming others or dying cause life s*cks(it tells me that). I cant decide and im having enough... i feel that im denying that im actually suicidal or having harmful thoughts cause im depressed...
These sound like intrusive thoughts to me. Impulsivity is doing something without putting much thought or care into it. Intrusive thoughts happen against your will, which is why it makes you feel anxious and depressed. You fear that you would act on it when you have no desire to do so. Denial is also a big part of OCD—we’ve all doubted if we have OCD or if this is our true self. These are all just symptoms of this disorder 💗
What if im depressed and frustrated or hopeless? Still doesnt mean that i will act on it or just that i have an intention to act on it? I feel depressed about 2 days...
@PRIV8 I feel depressed about alot of things and sometimes hopeless about the future... or i get frustrated about the future... these are all signs of suicidal ideations....
@PRIV8 I’ll be honest, I haven’t dealt with suicidal OCD, only harm OCD. So I don’t want to say the wrong thing or give you misinformation. I will say that like other themes, even if it feels real—intrusive thoughts are just thoughts, and the same goes for emotions. They’re against your values and what’s important to you (valuing your life and your happiness). I think this article may help you with these thoughts https://www.overcomingsuicidalpain.com/considering-suicide/how-to-respond-to-intrusive-suicidal-thoughts/
@blazed This helps to deal with thought, the only problem is i still ask myself if im really suicidal and i just dont want to feel guilt so i deny it..😂😂 Anyway thanks for relpying
@blazed I read that article, its good i think i read that before but one thing just got on me eyes, the sentence "these repetitive words and images can feel like an obsession". This just makes me think that i dont have ocd... but anyway whats the difference btw intrusive suicidal thoughts by depression, and by ocd... both of them are intrusive, so it means non of them wants it
@PRIV8 Hmm well I can’t say if you have OCD or not bc I’m not a professional, however, it sounds like it based on this convo. As you said, intrusive thoughts caused by OCD and depression are unwanted or (ego-dystonic). There isn’t much of a difference between them except that intrusive thoughts can occur from depression but not always, unlike OCD.
@blazed So if depression thoughts are ego-dystonic too then why many act on them? What makes me not act on them?
@PRIV8 Not all depressive thoughts are ego-dystonic. Most of the time that’s not the case. I feel like we’re now going down a rabbit hole and this isn’t helpful. No matter what the answer is, OCD will come up with another question. Sitting with the uncertainty is the only way to overcome this, unfortunately
@blazed Sorry I realized my wording was off in my response
@blazed I understand what you, i got told that by alot of person, i just really feel bad cause im depressed too and i feel like i blame and use ocd to not have responsibility over having suicidal thoughts. But you dont need to answer, i know its bad for me
@PRIV8 It’s not your fault, I know it’s easier said than done but you shouldn’t feel bad for having those thoughts. It’s already as hard as it is and you deserve happiness. Be kind to yourself and don’t beat yourself up for what you’re going through
so I need to get back into ERP, but it’s so hard to manage these thoughts and learn to deal with them. like I swear my mind has to make everything about it. Like every time I clean my room, my mind’s like yup make sure it’s clean so when your parents find you, or something so stupid like if I get a headache, my mind convinces me that I like the pain and that that’s why I get my thoughts because I actually want to do it. It’s so exhausting. Because I know I would never want to take my life and I treasure my life so why does it do it to me? It’s hard to comprehend the fact of these thoughts too because I don’t know many people with this exact theme. It’s such a scary feeling. And I’m constantly questioning whether I have actual depression or if it’s just my OCD. Yes I have been diagnosed with suicidal OCD, but my mind still tries to convince me otherwise. I just don’t know how to let these just sit and pass without panicking.
so I need to get back into ERP, but it’s so hard to manage these thoughts and learn to deal with them. like I swear my mind has to make everything about it. Like every time I clean my room, my mind’s like yup make sure it’s clean so when your parents find you, or something so stupid like if I get a headache, my mind convinces me that I like the pain and that that’s why I get my thoughts because I actually want to do it. It’s so exhausting. Because I know I would never want to take my life and I treasure my life so why does it do it to me? It’s hard to comprehend the fact of these thoughts too because I don’t know many people with this exact theme. It’s such a scary feeling. And I’m constantly questioning whether I have actual depression or if it’s just my OCD. Yes I have been diagnosed with suicidal OCD, but my mind still tries to convince me otherwise. I just don’t know how to let these just sit and pass without panicking.
I was told that this illness that im having now(some say its some kind of covid) is attacking people where they are the most sensitive, so it got my mental health and at first it was the fear of my health which im starting to face but now it got deeper and i have feelings of hopelessness and like a depressed feelings and thoughts like things wont get better. And i dont know where this comes from, im afraid this is actually what i believe. Dont know if its ocd or the illness actually made these problem come up what was pushed away by me... When i have these feelings my first reaction is fear and i dont know if its something i shouldnt give attention or the fear is actually bad and it makes me avoid the problem, so i should work on this depression... I dont know whats happening but its scarry and i dont like these dark thoughts. I think i suffer more because of the fear and shame of these thoughts but again i dont know if the fear and shame shows me that i dont need to give attention to these thoughts or the fear and shame actually blocks me to deal with these thoughts and feelings...
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