Avoiding a Trigger Making Me More Triggered 😅

Hi all! I have partner-focused ROCD (undiagnosed if that matters). My fears and themes mainly revolve around him being an awful person, and him doing awful things. The problem is…I also love true crime documentaries. But in almost every one, my brain fixates on a detail and it triggers either a real event or memory (something he’s said or done in the past that MIGHT elude or be evidence towards my fears…sorry it’s hard to explain). Anyway, it’s very easy for me to get very triggered with true crime and so I want to stop watching it. But now, the thought of having to stop watching it is making me even MORE anxious because I keep thinking “if I am that easily triggered by so many different things, then it must mean all these fears are true and he’s an awful person. If I have to avoid this to feel okay, then I’m ignoring/avoiding the problem” I’m not sure what to do here…thanks for reading!

Relationship OCD

malsaipe

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

Sometime maybe or maybe not doesn’t work so than I try acceptance. That is what has helped me recover. It’s terrifying but by taking it one step at a time it is possible. It will eventually start to become less daunting when you constantly tell OCD “okay whatever”😂. I hope your exposure goes and well and I wish you luck:))

malsaipe

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

I’ve definitely experienced this as well in many different circumstances. I would recommend starting by saying “maybe or maybe not”. It’s putting up a fight against your OCD and you are saying you know what… it doesn’t matter. “I love my partner and we have a happy and healthy relationship so I choose to be with him”. Focusing on the present can really help and eventually talking about these thoughts with your partner might help but that will take time. I wish you the best:)

Stuckinmyhead

Date posted: 2y

@malsaipe Thank you, I really appreciate that. I’ve tried the “maybe, maybe not”, but I can never get past the “maybe” part 😅

Stuckinmyhead

Date posted: 2y

@malsaipe I’m going to watch one now while I eat dinner just to prove to myself I’m not avoiding it 🙄 so we’ll see how it goes

val20

Date posted: 2y

Let me tell than you are one of the first persons that has a obsession similar to mine, and that makes me feel less alone.🥹 it’s really difficult but my recommendation is to no avoid triggers, the more you avoid them, the more control they’ll have over you, and more things will trigger you. When you start, it sounds impossible but eventually this will give OCD less power :) 💗

Stuckinmyhead

Date posted: 2y

@val20 Really?! I’ve also never heard of anyone else having these fears towards their partner. I’m glad (but also not glad) to know we’re not alone!

lovelover

Date posted: 2y

oh my god i do the same thing sometimes i had no idea others experienced it too. thank you for speaking out about this. i hope that this will get better for you in the future!

Stuckinmyhead

Date posted: 2y

@breestone1216 I’m sorry you can relate to this. It’s extremely hard. I think it’s one thing to have anxiety about yourself, but it’s a completely new level when it’s somebody else, because you can’t know their most inner thoughts and you can’t know them completely. It adds a whole new level of uncertainty that’s really hard to cope with.

lovelover

Date posted: 2y

@Stuckinmyhead that's definitely true. it's on a whole other level when you have anxiety about someone other than yourself. i was really surprised when you mentioned how you get thoughts about how those things must be true if you're so easily triggered. the same thing happens to me. i'm also sorry you have to deal with this.

lonelytype

Date posted: 22w

Criminal shows/Horror movies

does anyone else get really triggered when watching stuff to do with serial killers, p3dos, r@pists etc. I literally start to compare myself and check to see if i share any qualities with them. Ita really scary cause i really like this show Criminal minds, and i absolutely adore the characters, but its hard watching something i like cause of all the g0re and stuff. Not to mention all the thoughts that are convincing me i like the horrible stuff. Someone tell me if tou relate..

Harm OCD

Anonymous2212

Date posted: 20w

False Memory/ ROCD

I am diagnosed with OCD, ADHD, and mild depression. But my OCD symptoms are so prominent in my daily life where it feels debilitating. It comes in waves, there will be months with very minor symptoms and other times where it comes in random hitting me like a truck making me rethink life. I grew up having intrusive thoughts of all types, and a lot of them sent me over the edge because I couldn’t understand why things of such sort would cross my mind, things that I’m sure to this day that I’m incapable of or would never want to actually do. Yet I find myself in a constant cycle of trying to dig deep in the past and trying to figure out if I ever acted on any of the intrusive thoughts I can remember, yet ofc have no recollection of acting on them because they most likely didn’t happen. However, not having concrete proof of these things makes me not want to see another day sometimes. It is so hard to move into daily basis like this. I’m also in a happy healthy relationship and sometimes I get these thoughts of “what if I’ve done something awful during the relationship (for example, cheat, dishonesty, etc.) and can’t remember?” I know I would never do anything intentionally to harm my relationship and I think that maybe the idea of not having my partner sends me down a rabbit hole to think all these things. This mental fight is getting harder and harder. It feels unbearable. Does anyone have some fruit for thought, relate, or have any tips?

ashazalia

Date posted: 16w

Relationship issues?

Does anyone know how can you determine ROCD compulsive thoughts vs actual relationship issues necessary to bring up? I’ve been in multiple abusive relationships in the past and I don’t want to go through that again. I’ve been with my partner for 3 years, we’re both mentally ill and we’ve hurt each other a lot over the years. I have some trauma due to their alcoholism, but I want to still be there for her. However my head is constantly telling me that whenever they’re gone I’m worried they’re drinking and cheating, trying to harm themself, planning on harming me or they’re gonna die if im not basically with them 24/7. Even when I want time to myself I force myself to be with them sometimes out of fear. I see them do/say something that might suggest these things (following a new girl, ignoring my texts while they’re out, raising their voice at me etc.) and I’m even more convinced and I don’t know how to stop. I don’t know what is a suspicion I SHOULD bring up to them, and what is just a compulsive thought. :( How do I determine that?

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Avoiding a Trigger Making Me More Triggered 😅

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