Contamination OCD- Water contamination

I'm pretty elevated now as I recently learned one of my OCD fears is true. I worry about ocean contamination, particularly human feces being present, now after learning that several of the beaches are contaminated with enterococcus (a bacteria found in human & animal feces) on the island where I live. I never knew about this before this year as I receive water quality reports now from an NGO I'm following. When taking something out of my closet, I came across a beach lounge chair that I used at a beach last year that I recall had murky water. I started doing some digging on the internet and while some articles said that beach is highly contaminated, when I looked at the NGO's website with month by month published data, the contamination levels show they are low for most of the year. From July 2022- March 2023 the contamination level was only high in January and medium level in September 2022. All the other months show low contamination. The data doesn't go as far back as when I was at that beach, May 1, 2022, but it dates back at least to July and since the contamination level was low then I have some peace of mind. I still want to clean but not even sure what to do. I can't put a chair in the washing machine, obviously. I have Clorox Clinical spray, which is hospital level disinfectant and meant to be used on hard and soft surfaces so I'm thinking to spray the chair and whatever in the closet the chair touched. I don't know if this is really going to help since bacteria doesn't stay in 1 place. So if there was any contamination, the bacteria would have already traveled everywhere I took my chair, gone through my closet and even died. I have many of my clean clothes hung in the closet as well as my hamper with laundry. I can't practically go and wash all my clothes again and I think discarding things like the chair and my hamper would be super wasteful and cause me to feel guilty for being wasteful. The chair looks to be in perfectly fine condition and there are no major stains, no soiled marks whatsoever. So I feel discarding the chair would be wrong. I'm not sure what to do. I have a bottle of Clorox Clinical, hospital level disinfectant. I could spray it on the surfaces (chair, hamper, wall and other things the chair touched) and allow them to air dry as the instructions say. Or maybe I should do nothing. Maybe I have to accept there might have been enterococci, albeit a low, safe level according to the health department, on my belongings but that bacteria is long dead and gone. I guess beyond that I have to sit with the anxiety about contamination having been in my closet. I guess I can be somewhat reassured as the data shows low contamination at the questionable beach and that it's been 11 months since I went to this beach and never got sick, further reassuring a low contamination level. I'm really struggling, unsure what to do. I feel like these are my options: 1) accept the situation as is and just sit with the anxiety, accepting the possibility that enterococci was possibly on my belongings though unsure but rationally would be dead and gone by now, thus proving to not be a risk 2) try to do some cleaning with disinfectant although I feel it's futile from a rational perspective at this point since bacteria travels and doesn't stay on the same surfaces it first comes into contact with.

Contamination OCD

Self-trust w...

Date posted: 2y

Thank you @BabyAngel. I actually was anxiously awaiting a response from anyone. I will admit that I engaged in 2+ hours of compulsions, lots of disinfecting and washing of bags + beach chair and even the things inside my bags, and donated one of my beach bags and snorkel gear that I used despite having cleaned them with fresh water after. I discarded a beach mat since the water looked dirty after washing it. That mat had been sitting in a humid closet, in an attic-like environment, back in Georgia for years before I brought it here (I'm in Hawaii) so that was probably reasonable to discard. Maybe even washing my reusable bags in my car that sat next to the beach mat was also reasonable because I usually just sprayed them with Microban before but most haven't been properly washed so that was probably reasonable too. But the excessive washing and cleaning (I even disinfected things in my closet and part of my walls) probably didn't help with that much with killing the specific bacteria I'm worried about since it's been so long since I've even gone to the beach with any of that equipment. I have to learn to resist compulsions but when I'm so elevated, I find it so difficult. I discussed this situation with my nOCD therapist today and she helped me review the situation realistically to later identify the problem being my severe OCD instead of an actual hygiene/health risk. I realize that even if bacteria was on my belongings, this is from so long ago that this bacteria has likely traveled and/or died by now. Doing these compulsions is doing nothing but reconfirming my OCD fears and giving my OCD power. The beach bag I donated today was last used in 2017. While I might "feel" some relief washing and cleaning, I realistically have no idea if this bacteria was actually ever on my belongings or if any of it still remains. In fact, considering the lifespan for this bacteria is typically up to 7 days, I can actually rest assured that it's long dead/gone by now. I'm realizing that my fears and compulsions are extreme. My therapist said if there was a serious health or safety risk then the beaches would most likely been closed down or public alerts sent out. She's right. I know that we do get stormwater run-off, flooding, and sewer pipes can burst but when that happens, alerts are sent out and there are often signs put out warning about contamination. The times I went to the beach, I never got sick, neither did any of my friends and there were no alerts nor warnings from local officials. So you're right, I need to avoid the compulsions because the only thing I'm doing is feeding my OCD and really not doing much for cleanliness, hygiene and sanitation. Just the regular cleaning, washing, and dusting that I already do is likely more than enough to keep me clean, healthy and safe. Thank you again for your reply. I took wish you well with ERP. I'm new to OCD treatment too so please know that you're not alone in this - we're all in this together.

BabyAngel

Date posted: 2y

The correct answer is to sit with the anxiety. I’m too new to this ERP therapy so there is zero chance I could do this so I would probably spray it down with bleach and wash all my clothes (even if it took weeks) but I know that’s the incorrect answer. Good luck. Try to avoid disinfecting. You’ve gone this long and nothing bad has happened. You got this!!

oneday.x

Date posted: 24w

Worried about bathroom contamination

Sorry if this is tmi. In advance, I know some germs are fine - I'm all for that, and it definitely does ease some contamination anxiety. But I have lots of anxiety surrounding going to the bathroom, specifically number two. Again I'm so sorry if this is tmi. I went yesterday, and obviously my hands were contaminated because well, they are when you go to the bathroom. But also because I accidentally brushed the back of my hand against myself. When you're done in the bathroom you obviously put underwear back on, and trousers or whatever, but I wash my hands before touching my trousers but not underwear. So I do that bit before I wash my hands, but my hand, the very contaminated part, touched like a bit of my skin at my waist. At the time, I brushed it off, thinking that my trousers will cover that anyway for the time being. But then today, I wore leggings that are kind of small on me and they weren't as high waisted. And then I got in my bed, and had a t-shirt on, and probably touched so many things. I changed my t-shirt, meaning it touched my hair as I took it off. So now I'm paranoid I have poop particles all over me. I'm convinced I need to have a full shower again and wash my hair. I'm okay with having a shower, but I barely have enough energy for that let alone washing my hair too. I don't shower every day, so with my schedule, I'm not due to have one until tonight. I just want to be able to get up, get dressed, and go about my day. But how do I do that when my bed feels contaminated and I feel like I need to change the bedsheets. How do I cope when it feels like poop particles are in my HAIR. And that could totally be possible. I know some germs are fine. But I just don't know what to do.

Anonymous

Date posted: 18w

Seeking advice on my contamination OCD

So I have pretty intense contamination OCD tied to Moral/Real event OCD, and I'm having a hard time with it because part of me does genuinely believe my logic checks out, and I was hoping to get some insight as to how to change the way I see it from other people who sort of get the mindset involved :). To sum it up as well as I can, I basically have a very souped-up version of the same item-event association most people have. For example, let's say you have a HORRIBLE, GOD AWFUL relationship with a person you can't even begin to think of favorably even years after the event. They had gotten you a stuffed animal for your anniversary at some point. You finally "escape" the relationship, and you throw away the stuffed animal. This is seen as a very normal and sound-of-mind action. Here's where things get tricky: For me, throwing out that stuffed animal wouldn't be enough. After all, it touched my table didn't it? And my table touched the floor right? And these things now carry that person's germs. And if I don't get rid of them, then they'll infect my future belongings. This logic isn't entirely flawed either, as even my OCD specialist said he believes in a "weaker version of what I do". How am I supposed to convince myself that what I'm believing is false when the literal psychologist confirmed that what I'm doing is just a more in-depth version of a normal experience? Ex: I have a new outfit, fresh and clean. I'm unbothered and happy, but I knick the side of a table. The table holds awful associations. I get this awful sense of dread. The clothes are now somewhat sullied, and I'll eventually have to give them away. I don't think I'm explaining this as well as I could, but I feel like those notions are there. Anyways, does anyone have any insight as to how to get my mind to genuinely believe that interacting with these things is "safe"?

c0dfish

Date posted: 18w

How to keep contamination ocd from taking over?

(long read ahead, sorry lol) I’ve struggled with ocd for as far back as I can remember. I find that it gets worse with stress, and recently I’ve really been struggling with the contamination aspect of my ocd. I’m worried about it becoming unmanageable and negatively affecting my relationship with my partner. I’ve been living with my boyfriend since January (got kicked out of my house a week after I turned 18, it’s for the better though my house is toxic as hell) and I love living with him, but him and his family aren’t as concerned with cleaning as I am used to. My boyfriend and I have been together going on 2 years and there’s been many times throughout our relationship that his struggle with depression severely impacted his ability to keep up with cleaning his room. This is something I completely understand because I’ve struggled with it too so i’ve often helped him clean, and since i’ve moved in he’s done so much better at keeping up with cleaning (especially because he knows about my issues with clutter, mess, germs, etc.) He is really good at being accommodating towards my needs (not overly so, i’m aware that recovering includes accepting being uncomfortable), but it’s so hard for me to differentiate between what is the normal standard for cleanliness and hygiene and what’s excessive and unhealthy. I get so stressed out every single day over the thought of how dirty everything is. He has 3 cats that mainly stay in his room (he has a catio attached to his window/side of the house) and dogs which stay on the opposite side of the house and backyard, so there is fur everywhere constantly (i’m also allergic to cats but it’s not severe). I can’t stop thinking about how they are getting germs from their litter box all over everything. They also used to piss under his bed and in his closet when his room used to be a mess and it’s soaked into the floor so no matter what it stinks. It’s so hard to bring myself to walk around the house without slippers because my feet will get visibly dirty and my socks would get covered in hair. I always think about how my boyfriend sometimes walks on the rugs in the bathroom in shoes and all the germs that spreads. There’s so many more things but this is already getting long and I am shaking just thinking about how unclean everything is. I want to deep clean the entire house myself so I can get it to where It’s not like psychological torture everyday and it’s easier to maintain but I have been so busy I don’t have the time. I am worried about my boyfriend thinking I don’t like living with him or that I think that’s he’s dirty but i don’t. We have had several conversations about this and he’s reassured me that he knows none of my obsessive thoughts are personal but I still feel so bad about it. I would like to get therapy to help work through this but currently that is not an option for me. I know things will get better once I get through the main things in my life that are causing a lot of stress and therefore making my ocd flair up, but I need advice on what to do in the mean time. I keep having moments where all I can do is shake and cry and clean and I feel bad for my poor boyfriend who can only sit next to me and try to comfort me or help me clean. I also don’t want to make him worried that nothing he does is enough for me (i’ve also already talked to him about this and told him about how I can never even be clean enough for myself and that I don’t think he’s dirty). There’s been many times where I want to tell him to do things that I think might be my own unhealthy compulsions (ex. not wearing shoes in the house or in our room, not getting into bed with socks on, making sure to completely dry off before getting out the shower, put makeup and jewelry back where they belong right after using them, etc.) but i can’t tell if they’re reasonable or not and i try to not tell him unless it’s something that severely distresses me. I’m aware that everything is going to have germs no matter what and have been using NER’s to help manage my thought spirals/rumination. I know that I shouldn’t keep doing compulsions because it just offers temporary relief and makes the problem worse because nothing will ever be enough. I just feeling so overwhelmed and hopeless and exhausted and want some feedback.

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Contamination OCD- Water contamination

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