- Date posted
- 2y
Feeling Hopeful
For years I’ve dealt with anxiety. I have endured trauma as a child, teenager and adult which have been heavy feelings to carry. I realized that the neglect of my father, the abandonment and abusive relationships as an adult, have not allowed me to continue on in healthy romantic relationships. When I’m single, I thrive. I’ve accomplished so much on my own including raising my son as a single mom. I became a home owner and a business owner all on my own too, which is great. Once I start dating, it all goes downhill. I become a different version of myself. I become insecure, anxious, low self esteem, doubtful. I’m filled with instructive thoughts that ultimately lead me to the same patterns and I end up breaking up and feeling guilty about it. I am currently working with a therapist for my ptsd and anxiety and they’ve helped with this current depressive state. BUT! I need more help. This is not enough and it’s not bringing any confidence when it comes to dating. I’ve read books about anxious attachment and it has allowed me to understand it a bit more. I realize that my obsession and constant intrusive thoughts about: “does he really like me?”, “is he just going it leave me?”, “is he honest about how he feels?”, “is he talking to other women?” Paralyze my existence and well being. I neglect work, lose sleep, stop eating, obsess about my appearance. Things that are not at all like me. I am feeling hopeful about discovering more about my ocd in relationships and about finding relief and real changes. I believe that I will make these changes and be successful in dating. I’m not giving up. I AM HOPEFUL ! ❤️