Am i in denial? Feels like i have evidences…

@mariacabrera Hey, idk if you can help me with this or not but I spoke about my situation with a friend today and she said things that i have been thinking about and feel like hard pills to sallow because its true?she started by saying the maybe and maybe not decision of keeping the door open to reconnect later is a choice that we live in which cant let us heal and robs us from experiences with better men out there..and then she mentioned believing what he shows and currently he is doing his thing going out with who i dont know but yeah and he had told me that he is barely going out or hanging out with friends because he is going through something but it feels like its just me that he has an issue with or lets say the simplest lost feelings for me and didnt know how to say it so said it this way to me made me pull away she said i am not being truly honest with myself which i may or may not be but if i am not being honest about it then what is the honesty what are my intuitions saying what is my feeling except for overthinking that this isnt going to work? Why am i not accepting that? She also said who will put in so much work for a situationship and if there had to be work it already should have been put in now we haven’t spoken in so long and now with time passing might not and move on so again he will be someplace else i will be someplace else and we will forget eachother like we came right? She also mentioned that she knows when a guy randomly starts acting funny and says he is going through something mentally which mine said but still doing his things it isn’t that big of a deal and that he is living his life and there are very bleak chances of a situation like this to work out because this was inevitable and i am no different situationships always end like this never in something serious even if you want so and then she said you have been focusing less and feeling sad whereas he is doing his thing and enjoying and doesn’t seem to care so clearly you are the one feeling bad in it and i also told her that I don’t want to give into the same rut again and again its not okay either it be in or out but with the time apart and now moving on with our lives maybe this was never meant to be and we lost it and lost our time? And also maybe this is how it was to happen having hope is making it easy and she also mentioned that now people around will start saying you haven’t been talking just move on which is why i dont even mention it to anyone and its like i am completely feeling numb these are all normal thoughts and concerns right and she says she can see how this ends and it isnt good sometimes third people who see it from the outside can see better so I should listen and quit the one sliver of hope also right? And most importantly what am i feeling do i feel the same and maybe i am just not accepting it? But i need to be honest and accept and i agree with everything she said? Yes cause the situation seems to be going no where and how long can i hold on without feeling shitty about it anymore what is my intuition saying and my guy and just cause i am scared to accept rejection i am not accepting it sometimes things dont pan out the way we want and maybe this is one of those its out of my control and this time its not a thing i can force anything over its a human with feelings so it has to be want from both side atleast a little to make it work something to tell me he wants it but clearly everything says against it rn and are these all logical signs i am ignoring cause its my first time liking a guy so much and i dont want to accept the truth? But what is the truth? I know but i am not accepting what do i feel? What is my gut my intuition saying is this even ocd anymore everything feels blurry in my brain like i dont understand what to think about .. i said its not in my control the situation i put in gods hands but god also sometimes needs us to work to do something does he want me to do that ? To let go for good? Its just me in the relationship right? Does this make sense? Are these not valid points me just writing them down here dont make them ocd cause i want it to be… went from talking everyday to not speaking now aren’t these just straight up signs? She said i am choosing to be in this pain and i dont even know whats true or false anymore everything she said about him may be true and am i hoping for something hopeless completely? Is this my ocd thinking at all?

@mariacabrera Hey, i know the post is pretty long but i would really appreciate some help if you could thankyou wishing you the best too

@Brave through I just replied below

@mariacabrera I know this message doesn’t give you the certainty or special key we think we need to finally get over this terrible feeling. Even if I sound like I know how to deal with this situation - I feel the exact same way as you and haven’t been able to cut off my love interest. I think right now the important thing is to get to a place where we are doing less mental compulsions so they are not controlling everything we do and hopefully we will be able to make choices that reflect what we need. What my therapist did say that sometimes even when we make these choices, ocd will make us question them and try to get us back to a spiral of thoughts. But all we can do is try and little by little practice not putting power or meaning in to everything we think. I know this isn’t the most satisfying answer but I think we both need to try to just embrace the doubt and the uncertainty - all we can do for now imo!

@mariacabrera I guess being okay with uncertainty is the hardest rn but the most needed. Thankyou so much though. I wish us both the best :)

@mariacabrera Ig my last question…Is it imp to cut off the interest and never look back for a feeling like this to subside or could you go about your day and actually be okay with whatever?

@mariacabrera As you said choices that We need to make that reflect our needs but we are both struggling so shouldnt it knowing we are struggling this guy is not for us we deserve better and someone on here also told me that god has put us to either know that we deserve better and the guys shouldn’t be treating us like this its not fair and later we realise this and feel like we have wasted our time and also i have seen people do no contact and still never end up getting over i dont want to be that person who stays stuck to a guy who may or may not be even thinking about me..

@mariacabrera I am so sorry for constantly asking these questions but ig i am scared and tired

@mariacabrera How do we even know if its the right choice to cut off or not cause ocd will make us question either of the two if we move on we question we stay we question how does this cycle even end and ocd latches on to this negative which can be positive but positive could also possibly be negative like I don't know if i am making sense but i dont know how to put it if moving on is what we think and maybe we should do that cause thats always going to be hard and also that ocd with it doesn't matter right cause you question such decisions always as they hurt you but staying in this is also no better so what should one even do?

@mariacabrera You are right:) this is an unending cycle and honestly doesn’t seem to have an end i am worried cause i have exams and imp career decisions approaching which is why i dont want it to hamper that and i didn’t know what to do or what to do so as to not focus on this but on what’s actually infront of me and imp. I cant mess that up hence I think just focusing on whats more imp rn is the goal and trying to navigate through ocd ig

@Brave through It is honestly so hard and I fully understand why it’s so scary/ feels urgent to make a decision now. I hope somehow we can just try to focus on our lives in the present and tend to the things that are currently here. Sending love your way! Hoping the best for us both