Sharing or not sharing

I can’t help but feel so anxious because of guilt. I feel guilty about not sharing everything about my OCD to my partner, but because I understand that confession itself is a compulsion and would not help anyone. I feel so anxious too that if all my fears come true and she finds out, then it would be so devastating for everyone especially her. Does anyone feel the same thing? How could I change my perspective on this?

Does anyone feel the urge to confess secrets even though they’re not yours to share? My husband told me about a traumatic event he had and trusts me to keep the secret. It has NOTHING to do with me at all. And my brain is making me feel like I need or want to tell someone. I want to be trustworthy and my brain is making me feel like I’m not because of this obsession. It’s so confusing because I know I don’t need to but I feel like I “want to” because of the OCD anxiety? And the feeling of wanting to makes me feel more anxious and like a terrible person. I have confessed literally everything to my mom about my thoughts so she’s my safe person. And I had an emotionally abusive dad (probably how I got OCD at a young age - like 8 years old) that has now passed away. So confiding in her even with intrusive thoughts and messed up shit was safe for me. Does my brain feel like I need to tell her just because she’s my safe person? I hate the feeling of me “wanting” to tell at all too and can’t tell if it’s real and it’s making me feel like a horrible person. I literally have no secrets myself. His mom knows and so do I. So I’m not the only one that knows. But why is my brain doing this? It’s spiraling me out and has been for a few days. But I want to keep the secret because it’s HIS and it doesn’t affect me in any way. I mean sure I feel bad for him - but it’s from his past before we even met? Someone please help me rationalize why I feel these things and why it’s so confusing to know if you actually “want” to do something or if it’s OCD? It’s causing a deep anxiety pit in my stomach and has been for days now.

So scared to post this not wanting to sound dramatic incase i dont have it so uh yeah lets go Ive been struggling with this ocd spiral, googling everything i can, taking stupid test that prob dont mean anything, i dont really have compulsions i think? but anyways i cant let it go unless i know. ill give list of reasons why - I get intrusive thoughts i dont want, like sexual or harm related ones, multiple times a day- Yes ik intrusive thoughts are normal so this is probably nothing. To try and give an idea on how many or how constant- when i look at something either that be a person, pet, or an object can be fictional things to- there is a high chance of a thought or mental image popping up -I feel shame and guilty about it because it goes against everything, im asexual so having these thoughts about my family or animals is really upsetting and disturbing bc why am i thinking this, it doesn't feel normal -i try and push them away by blinking, shaking my head, or just walk away from what triggered them -i spiral trying to figure out whats wrong with me for example ofc my brain thinking i have ocd and it filling my brain. or can be about physical health or other mental health disorders- -i constantly am switching between thinking i have it to im faking it. When i see symptoms i have i think, "Okay wait, i must have it" to where when i see a symptom i don't have, i tell myself. "No im just lying for attention or im being dramatic and these aren't real problems". but like rn im struggling with thinking none of this really even happened and i'm just saying things so ppl think sm wrong with me - sometiems i avoid things that trigger it- not alot but like when i get a thought about my dog when im about to pet her, i stop- and walk away becuase it might come true. -i fear something is wrong with me, wether it be my mind, body, health, personality- -im scared to open up about these thoughts becuase im scared people will thing im lying, im weird, or ill be sent to a mental hospital. -also reassuring-seeking. now this isnt a big thing to me but when i think i offended someone i have to say "sorry if i offended you" or if i think i annoyed someone i must say "sorry if i annoyed you", OR i kinda down talk myself saying im annoying, there annoyed with me, they hate me This has been nagging me for days, and i cant get it to stop- BECAUSE what if i do and i don't get it diagnosed and ill deal with this forever or whatever, ik ppl have it worse and i'm probably being dramatic, high possibility. but i'm also scared to tell a therapist bc of that same exact reason and fear of being called dramatic and its all in your head. but uhm hopefully i didn't say anything bad and didn't repeat anything.