Sharing or not sharing

Feel guilty for not giving into compulsions like rumination and confessing? I feel guilt for having an intrusive thought, trying to shrug it off or just giving it a few seconds of thought and moving along. This sounds like improvement but I still struggle with the anxiety and the guilt. The shame. I’ll be okay and then I’ll remember I have OCD and my stomach will drop and I just want to curl up and cry.

Last night I had a fucked up intrusive thought/urge about harming my partner and I'm spinning out today. I let them know I had an intrusive thought and was struggling with compulsions around it and future repercussions, but did not tell them exactly what the thought/urge was, which they accepted. Do y'all share details with your partners about harm ocd? How can we healthily ask for support from people we are having horrible thoughts about?

Sometimes I had some relationship OCD and then I didn’t qualify for contamination OCD however I know in relationships partners like to be close and drink out of each others cup. My partner was thirsty and getting very hot and he asked for my drink and I gave it to him he felt better and I am so beyound happy he did! I feel a lot of shame admitting this, he told me I could have my drink back and I said thank you! 😊 He noticed I didn’t drink it because in my mind it says it is contaminated and I felt extremely bad that he noticed so I got a piece of gum to distracte us I then had to spit out the gum because it wasn’t a good flavor then my brain told me well… ( Ms.OCD) said if I don’t drink it it will hurt his feelings and then that means I don’t like him and then I drink it then I spiraled from there lol 😂 I am so sorry it wasn’t a weird funny story I was wondering if anyone else can relate? I was wondering if there is any advice I can please have? Thank you so much!! Please write down something in the comments if you are struggling because I want to help you all as well!! Thank you!!