Existential OCD

I didn’t even know existential OCD was a subtype of OCD. I’ve struggled with OCD, depression, and anxiety for a large portion of my life, I also struggled with pandas all throughout middle school. However, recently I feel like I’ve been in the darkest whole I’ve ever been in. One day, I thought about the meaning of life, and since then, that’s all I can think about. This has occurred for months. I constantly think about why I’m here, and why I should care to be here. Why should I care to be happy? What’s the point of it all. That’s all I think about with everything I do. Whenever I get the smallest amount of joy, those intrusive thoughts come back in ask, “why are you even happy? Why should you care to be happy?” Why why why. It’s exhausting, and it’s taken away all of my energy and motivation. I’m pushing through because deep down, I know this isn’t myself and I want to get better. I want to live my life without thinking these things, and I want to be able to enjoy it. But at the moment, I just don’t even care about anything. It’s terrifying, and I wish I had a normal brain, or I wish I could just shut off my thoughts sometimes. If anyone has advice, it would be greatly appreciated.

Existential OCD

Dee88

Date posted: 2y

I have this too- exactly as you described- it’s really hard to know if it’s ocd or depression but I think it feels like ocd because it’s a thought that pops in to my head randomly. I might experience a little bit of joy and then a thought will say ‘what is even the point of feeling happy like this momentarily’ and it drags me back. It feels like ocd I think.

charg8

Date posted: 2y

It’s ok to think about these things— I think about them all the time but I try to use them to my benefit when I can. When you realize these things and the shortness of life, it makes you more aware of how you might wanna spend your time— maybe on not stressing about the little things or things you can’t control

charg8

Date posted: 2y

And I use that to control my stress levels. I know it can be a lot but many people don’t have the ability to look at life in this deep perspective— the ability to do so is a gift and a curse at the same time right

Lb87

Date posted: 2y

I have a similar experience. When my OCD hooks on to existential OCD, I start to question every moment where I feel happiness and joy. Do I really feel happy? Do I really feel joy? And then it can turn in to “can I experience happiness or laughter without questioning it?” And then I become hyper vigilant to whether or not OCD will pop up in any happy, joyful or truthful moment (whatever truth even is). Working on allowing, noticing and accepting all these thoughts instead of right them. Allow allow allow. Even the hardest ones ERP and mindfulness have been helping, but it’s been a slog with relapses.

Lb87

Date posted: 2y

@Lb87 *instead of fighting them

Anonymousbirdy

Date posted: 2y

@Lb87 Thank you for commenting, I really needed this. Sometimes it’s easy to think that you are the only one experiencing these thoughts, when that’s not the case at all. It feels good to know that you’re not alone. I will definitely try and practice the things you said to do. Thank you so much.

Lb87

Date posted: 2y

@Anonymousbirdy Honestly it was helpful to hear you sure this as well. I’ve wondered if this is existential OCD and your post helped to confirm that for me. Also good to know I’m Not alone. ✊🏻

mossy123

Date posted: 22w

Existential ocd

So this past week I’ve had a really bad ocd spiral. I can’t stop thinking about death and what happens after. Because of this, I’ve felt no motivation to get out of bed. I don’t know if it’s burnout from school, depression, or just existential ocd. I can’t focus on the present,and I feel like I’m in a dream like state. I went through a similar time a few years ago, and was able to get out of it. Even if I do accept that death is inevitable, how do I get motivation to do anything when I know it won’t matter in the end? Any tips?

user23456789

Date posted: 19w

Existential OCD

Hey guys so I’m new here and just recently started struggling with some health ocd and thinking I had a brain tumor but it’s taken a turn for the worse and become this existential ocd where I’m questioning quite literally everything in my life, the purpose of being here and stuff. I just started meds yesterday, which is scary for me cause I’ve never been on them before. I keep having thoughts like, why does everything feel like a blur, what’s the meaning of this and I wake up every day with just existential dread. I’ve been having very vivid dreams that make dreaming and reality confusing I also am scared cause I’m dealing with some DP/DR as well. I just wish my life could go back to a few months ago before I knew all of this was possible. I guess I’m just writing this too get it off my chest and see if any of you all have gone through something similar and made it out okay?

mandiocd

Date posted: 19w

Please help existential ocd

Existential ocd is deeply affecting me. A lot of people say death is equally as meaningless, I do agree, however, if life is mostly suffering and anxiety to me, then death is not as equally meaningless. It seems logical. I have severe ocd and my life is just suffering, so if life is meaningless, it’s logical for me to not see a reason to keep going. I’m not necessarily depressed. Just incredibly aware of how pointless this all is? There’s no end goal to any of this. It baffles me of how people can care about money and materialistic things, because what’s the point? You’ll die in the end and nothing will matter. ****please please please do not tell me to get into religion I’m begging you****

Existential OCD

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