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Hi everyone, I have been struggling with something for a while and I am starting to wonder if it is related to OCD. For as long as I can remember, I have had this habit of looking at people, whether friends, family, or strangers and even kids, through a lens that feels like it is from the perspective of someone who might find them attractive or sexualize them. I don’t want to feel attracted; it just feels like my brain automatically puts them in that perspective. I’ve done this for as long as I can remember, and I honestly thought it was just part of me being curious or creative. I have always thought this was just a quirk of my brain, but now I am starting to wonder if it is an OCD thing, especially since it feels automatic and I get anxious afterward. Has anyone else experienced this? I did not think this was part of OCD, but now I am not so sure.

Does anyone else find it hard to make eye contact with people? (it makes me feel like they can somehow see through my brain, and read my thoughts, ) that’s something I struggle with especially when I have flares ! And does anyone else feel like their OCD spikes when they’re experiencing there period ☹️☹️☹️

I have been staring at other men’s faces and in a way that I would not be happy with if my boyfriend did it, at least I think. It’s compulsive staring, meaning that I get anxiety if I don’t stare, but also get anxiety because I look for too long. The main doubt I have is if my vulvodynia would be different with someone else. It’s so painful to be with someone you love and want them, but every time you try your body won’t let you. I don’t want to eat. I don’t want to go out. I used to love the gym but now it scares me. I don’t try to make friends anymore because I’m scared. In the moment when I have been staring, it has felt like a pull that I can’t control. My brain totally shuts down. When this happened next to my boyfriend… No, just no. No one is giving me answers. I don’t see my new psychologist untill more than a week, and I’m going on a trip with my boyfriend. Every time I am with him, I feel guilty. I never wanted to stare in the first place. I think I have made my peace with that my doubt in my relationship is valid, but the staring is just so unfaithful. I’m afraid of getting a job and everything. I haven’t told him the full story, since I’m not sure if it is a compulsion. I’m also scared he will be sad and leave. Please help. I can’t do this anymore