Hocd question

Hi all, I deal with HOCD and been seeing a therapist for about 3.5 months. It has definitely got better but still affects me very much. Was wondering there is anyone out there who has dealt with HOCD as well and has recovered. I would love to message or even chat just see how your experience was and hear what was beneficial to you.

This is killing me slowly day by day, im a straight female 20 years old, i started getting hocd after a break up with an ex and coming off intense use of 🍁🍃 for a few years on and off, i think it has messed up my brain so bad… my hocd is weird because ive been with men my whole life always wanted to be with men.. i also used to always question every relationship “do i love him? Does he love me? Am I with the right person?” Anyways after my hocd triggered my tocd due to researching hocd and finding they can often be linked, I started getting tocd and it’s worse then ever because it’s not who I want to be and I’m going back to situations where my abusive ex partner called me a “man” during a fight. I’ve always been a tomboy but never had same sex attraction. Help. This is killing me. I haven’t been able to study or leave the house most days, and work! I’ve lost motivation for everything and I’m in a dark hole. I need some success stories please

I feel I have HOCD FOR MORE THAN 10 years now. Basically all my ocd started since me and my husband started dating for real…. Will it ever go away? Will I ever be happy? Will I ever know? I don’t know… How long for you? Edit for me it’s more SO OCD cause I think I’m bisexual