I was diagnosed with ocd like 2 months ago. I have excessive rumination about my orientation. As long as I can remember I’ve only been attracted to woman and never with men. I’m having intrusive thoughts like I’m gay and that u have to come out to everyone because your gay. I’m just worry I’m in denial.
I’m diagnosed with OCD and I’m experiencing everything you said too! These are all very common symptoms. The fact that it bothers you a lot is an indication of it being OCD.
Thank you for sharing what you are going through. It is so helpful for us all to hear each other‘s experiences. OCD is the doubting disease and comes up in various areas of our lives. Try to remember Feelings, emotions, and thoughts are not facts; when they come up, try not to engage in compulsions such as analyzing them, figuring things out, pushing the thoughts out of your mind, etc. Accepting them while not engaging is often more effective. I know easier said than done, but with time and practice it does get better. Be kind and patient with yourself. I wish you all the best on your recovery journey.
Are you saying ocd can hijack emotions?
@Mr.ocd Oh yes
@Liamj514 Oh has that happened to you
@Mr.ocd Yes
@Mr.ocd This happens to me a lot too. I think people forget that just like we can get intrusive thoughts or images, we can also experience intrusive feelings too. I don’t want you to use this as reassurance that the feeling you’re feeling is/isn’t real; I say it so you know that you can embrace uncertainty around emotions/feelings too!
@Mr.ocd In my personal experience with OCD, when I’m in an OCD episode, it can affect everything.
Rumination, mental checking, reviewing body sensations, and trying to figure out if you’re attracted to men are all compulsions that keep you stuck in the OCD cycle. Have you heard of Exposure Response Prevention therapy? It is the gold standard treatment for OCD. I know it can feel like a lot, overwhelming, and scary to seek treatment. But doing therapy here at NOCD helped me learn to let go + take back my control. I definitely recommend giving NOCD a call for their free consultation!
So my hocd started over 2 years ago (I’m 20 yrs old now), when I was having a conversation with one of my friends and the thought popped into the back of my head what if the reason I don’t have a crush on any guys at my high school is because I’m a lesbian. Since then my sexuality has been on my mind 24/7 I didn’t know this was ocd until about a year ago but i’m only seeking treatment now. The hocd ramped up when I felt super aroused watching a movie with topless women, something that had never happened when watching men. Thing is I genuinely think I’m gay now, I’ve had this for so long that at first the thoughts disgusted me and caused me anxiety but now they don’t anymore. I saw so many tiktok videos about “pipelines” of certain interests gay people have that triggered me and read the comphet masterdoc which made me cry when I read it because I related to so much of it. When I was a child I was never boy crazy, I never really crushed on boys in my class (to be fair there were only 7) however I do remember writing a love note to a boy in first grade and having an immense celebrity crush on a disney channel star. I remember to certain things I did as a child that lead me to think I am gay and they keep replaying over and over in my head. Thing is over the past year I’ve had crushes on 3 guys I’ve met through dating apps. The last one I actually hung out with and I had my first kiss/makeout session 2 months ago. After that my hocd calmed down I enjoyed kissing him it felt euphoric the whole drive home just replaying our dates in my head. But now I can’t get the thought out of my head what if I didn’t like it enough? I didn’t get butterflies when we kissed (i do when I think back about it though) and didnt feel super aroused like that time I watched that movie. I feel nothing when I look at pictures and videos of men but with women I started getting this warm feeling in my chest which stressed me out even more. Idk what I am anymore and it is driving me insane. Does anyone relate?
I had Tocd and now it has turned into HOCD. But this HOCD is…complicated? I’m Asexual Panromantic, so i love everyone. However, OCD has been telling me i’m actually a lesbian and that my attraction to men/anyone who identifies as a man is false and i’d be happier with a woman. The thing is, I always leaned on men. Like i prefered men. But i didn’t mind women. But i was more of a men type of pansexual. I was always certain on my sexuality, but now it keeps telling me i’m a lesbian and that i should stop loving men but i know i’m not a lesbian…? Idk this just feels like denial but i know it’s OCD up to it’s tricks. It’s just annoying.
For as long as i can remember i have always been boy crazy. I have always had crushes on men, had sexual interactions with them, etc. I’ve never thought about a woman in that way. I remember around 2021 I had a “what if I were gay?” thought but after around a week it went away. Now the thought is back but 100x worse. Mid December 2023 i suddenly got the thoughts again. I can’t really pinpoint what triggered it, but it may have been the TV show I was watching. In the show a woman around her 30’s dated men and even married one but then all the sudden ended up marrying a woman later on. I starting to think “what if that happens to me?” I couldn’t fall asleep for days and would cry throughout the day. I eventually told my mom about this as I kept having anxiety attacks and she said well if you don’t only like men then that’s ok. But the thing is that I want to like men. I’ve always imagined my life with a husband and kids. I don’t understand how something like this could happen basically overnight. I used started therapy for my anxiety but how do I bring this topic up? Does anyone who has soocd/hocd think this sounds like ocd or could I really just be in denial. My days now consist of these persistent thoughts. I’m always on here or reddit/quora looking up my symptoms to see if anyone else feels the same. i don’t wanna feel like this anymore. i wanna go back to november when i didn’t have these thoughts. I’m still having the thoughts about a month later but the anxiety isn’t as bad which is making me feel worse. i feel like i should be more anxious considering i want to be straight. this isn’t me.
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