Did you get more anxious after learning about ocd?

Before I learned about hocd I got nervous a lot, but it was 'over' after reassurement (at least for a little bit). I think I read an article about porn addition and it made me realise that I watch way too much and it made me anxious. Then because of that I started reading about HOCD and realised almost everything checks out. Now, even tough I mentally I'm better since I recognise when I shouldn't reassure myself, I feel somewhat anxious all the time. I cannot yawn but I want to all the time , breaths never seem to be deep enough and sometimes there's a lump in my throath. Did anyone else go though this and what did you do? (I'm 17 and don't feel ready to talk about gay-ocd to my parents to get therapy at all.)

Username: blazed

Date posted: 72d ago

This is similar to what I’ve experienced too. When I started researching my symptoms and found out it was OCD, I felt relieved, but that only lasted so long. From there on my anxiety grew and became very severe. Overtime I learned to manage it better with mindfulness, medication, therapy, and putting myself in uncomfortable situations. I’m not fully recovered yet, though, I’m doing much better now than before.

Username: zebrava

Date posted: 71d ago

thanks for the reply. I really hope you'll fully recover. How long did it take since first noticing the worsening anxiety until you felt your 'baseline calmness' again (not sure how to say it, when you are able to sometimes relax like you did before)? I really wanna stay strong, but I miss being able to take a deep breath so much already, and it's only been 2 months.

Username: blazed

Date posted: 71d ago

@zebrava You’re welcome! I’d say it took around 6-8 months for me to feel relatively stable and calm. It took a while to get there because I kept ruminating like 80% of the time. But you can definitely get better faster than I did if you start reducing your compulsions now. And as for not being able to breathe properly, the same thing happened to me! My chest was super tight and tense all the time because of the high levels of stress. Reducing cortisol levels by meditating will really help with this. I hope you fully recover from this too. Keep pushing through and reach out to a professional for help if you haven’t already 🫂💗

Username: zebrava

Date posted: 69d ago

@blazed Thanks. Reducing my compulsions makes me super anxious for now,bc I go into the tought: maybe I'm gay in denial and this isn't ocd and I'm faking crushes on girls etc. etc. (I think i have so-ocd) Talking to a therapist would mean coming out to my parents (i'm pretty sure i'm bi) and that's one of my biggest fears. + they'd be super worried about me Or I could talk to a school counselor but sometimes he tells teachers/other students what's been said which seems very unprofessional and scary